Have I compromised my job position because of my dyspraxia?

[Chrido81]

Hi guys, first post so be kind

I was diagnosed as dyspraxic some 17 or 18 years ago by my local council's Ed. Psychologist. That is all I know. It afforded me extra time in exams etc,but I have no paperwork.

I have difficulties with shifting patterns/routines, as well as noise and distraction levels in the office.

Fast forward to last year. I was hired by a UK/Global insurance company to process claims payments. For the first six months everything was exceptional. Praise from bosses, no bad words. It was predicable, routine even. I sat down, did my work and left feeling satisfied.

Then I was given extra training. Which again during the training period I excelled at. Things were going great. But the problem was that I was expected to float between roles. And this caused problems. I started having difficulties completing tasks for both roles whilst maintaining output.

Then I was moved to an area of the office, annexed from the rest of the team, surrounded by big personalities with even bigger voices. Those which cut through my soul every single time they spoke. I felt isolated, and impeded by noise and distraction. My stress levels rose.

My output suffered and I communicated that I was not happy with my productivity. This seemed to focus my manager's radar onto me. Suddenly my manager started pulling me up for the slightest little mistake, and upping my goals from those which were set previously. It was as if I had made the huge mistake of making myself seem weak.

We moved to a computerised scheduling system, and my work pattern changed from being static and balanced to being 5 hour mornings, and 2 hour afternoons with variable start times. Afternoons are my peak time as everything slows down, so I felt that slow mornings led to zero times in the afternoon to catch up in "crunch time".

Suddenly I started to have awkward meetings with both my bosses where they would take me to a room and confront me on my performance. I was lost and frustrated and I told them I was stressed.

Today I lost patience with my bosses lack of empathy towards my stress. I blurted out about my dyspraxia, and I literally had to spell it out for my boss. They had no clue. And HR should have told them about it when I was hired.

Have I just compromised my job by admitting my difference/difficulty? I know we're covered by the Equalities Act 2010, but managers/HR in large companies are particularly slippery and ignorant people in such matters.

I do have my trade union involved as of today.

Any help/input would be appreciated.

[Tom fod]

Significant change in the workplace can easily cause things to come undone. We can’t assume HR informed your management chain when you joined or that your management understood or knew how to best help you.

You declared to HR so they can’t pin failure to declare on you. Involving union is also good/right move.

They pushed you to breakingpoint so now they need to be mindful of their duty of care and prove themselves to be a worthy employer.

[Chrido81]

Thanks. I suppose that now I've declared my disability as a factor in my troubles, I'm worried that my employer might suffer "buyer's remorse" and might now seek to prove I'm not the worker they want. The law is specific enough,but large companies have the resources to find loopholes. Experience has taught me not to trust HR and I fear this might become another in a line of failed jobs. I'm really worried.

[Tom fod]

The fear is very real and impossible to ignore but maybe if it comes to that you need to view them as an employer who failed as much as their potentially viewing you as a failed employee!. You proved you could excel and they need to create conditions where their employees are content and incentivised to want to go above and beyond in the service of the company.

[allesandro]

No, I don't think so. I think at that point you had no choice. I know what that feels like and it's an awful feeling

[Chrido81]

Thanks. It's just frustrating. It causes real stress, and the result is the stress makes my dyspraxic traits worse. The trouble is people just don't understand stress for a start, let alone the dyspraxia.

My union rep has told me that because my boss was made aware of the stress some months ago now, then that alone is still covered in the Discrimination Act, as a mental illness. So regardless what they say, they should still have taken reasonable steps to help me. Which thus far they've failed to address.

[Lifetime33]

****, the part you said about “mistaken you for weak” really hit hard. It’s happened to me too many times that I was told that I was weak- and the more you get told it, the more it becomes reality. Even though most dyspraxics are probably mentally stronger than average people.

[Chrido81]

Even though most dyspraxics are probably mentally stronger than average people.

This so many times!

The fact we've had to live our entire lives dealing with the fact we cant do things in the same way as other people, plus probably being on the receiving end of more un-necessary disciplinary processes than I'd care to mention. It makes us pretty strong, just to even keep up with a lot of things.

And we can be tenacious beggars too! Well I certainly am. I need to make sure I've gathered all the details and made sure I am following the right processes at work.

On the plus side it means I often spot things that other people simply wouldnt. My attention to detail for certain things is unbelievable. Because it needs to be, otherwise I'd drown in a sea of mistakes Of course I seem to miss a lot of routine details, but I catch major problems hidden in the files quite regularly. Go figure, right!

Of course it does mean it can take me longer to complete tasks, write letters etc. And I absolutely do seem to put difficult or impossible tasks to the back burner, to my frustration sometimes. More employers need to realise that these weaknesses can also come with strengths they won't find anywhere else.

[Lifetime33]

That’s very true but I’ve realized with myself, that if I do something over and over again a couple of times and finally get it right, I’m usually better than the average person! It’s just the initial learning curve that deeply confuses me. Usually when dyspraxics get something completely right, and feel comfortable with it; they’re better workers than most people. That’s just a horrible fate we’ve been given though, because if you’re really bad at something for the first few times- people label you as “horrible for the rest of existence” with that thing- and then label you as if you’re bad at it, or weak, or in need of help. That persona has been indoctrinated into me, even though I look at myself as a confident person- I can’t be that confident person when I’m constantly getting told that I’m weak and pathetic. People can say “well, prove them wrong”; but it’s kind of hard to- when you’re on the edge of being let go. It just fuels the anxiety much more. It seriously makes me scared for my future, I’m only 18 and I have a deep fear of becoming homeless.