Hi Everyone I'm Laila Im 25 I come from Merseyside from the moment I entered Infant school aged 4 I knew there was somthing different about me I had been a high funtioning toddler My Mum says my ap card score was high however when it came to school my active imagination and daydreming (which won me so many friends at the start) was inaproproprate and didnt cut the mustard for teachers they said I was daydreamy dosy not capable inmature and I struggled daily and was made to feel a fool for being unable to put on a coat and mittons p.e or swimming kit, I couldnt dress myself nor find my way back from the toilet or even write my name I couldnt play sports, swim add or takeaway (I still cant tell the time perfectly though I have built stratagies around the rest) my maths age is still 8 years old now, but I was a brite kid my storys where fab but I couldent write them down I was continusly forgetful all though primary school I was continuestly Told I was hopeless by teachers this had a knock on affect so by the time I was 8 school had got me so anxious I was sent for a series of dignostic tests (grateful for the time off) until I was fineally dignosed with severe dyspraxia dyslexia and dyscalculer in a recent test Its been dyscovered I also Have mild ADHD. (hence daydreamy or dosy as some call it)
I was refered to a special school which wasnt really correct for me the school wasnt for dyslexia related conditions it was for kids who had emotional and mentle distubance who would hit out and disrubt me sometimes but some where nice children and I had friends for the first time still better then me being called stupid by the "normal funtioning kids"
Being a dyspraxic adult contains a new set of difficultlys such as finding a Job, driving Im too scared with my slow reactions, being put in for jobs you cant do because of your problems people in work looking at me as if Im thick doesnt help being blonde uni people finding me hard to work with because they dont understand why I dont funtion in the same way going as far as to talk about my condition and bitch about me behhind my back as them I however dispite adult bullys I got my degree a ba hons in creative and performing arts 2:2
atm Im depressed because of my job situation Mcdonalds treated me like an idoit and overworked me to the point of ill health humilated me calling me off the till cos of the maths and sticking me in a job running up and down stairs for 10 hours cleaning I devouped problems in my knees and lost my temper cos I was in agony and given no break and had to leave.
dispite my degree I cant get a GCSE in maths or english I got onto my degree though vocational BTECS in performing arts (Acting) Drama is the only thing I can do exeptionally well and creative writing if I had a typist . Cant wait to speak to others in simler situations btw Im not always this misrable Im usually the opisite just so bored and down I cant seam to buck myself up going to the doctors tomorrow for depression havent left the house for 3 days cant sleep feeling sick all the time, the Job centres lack of understanding for my problems has really got me down still applying for so many every week been for loads of interviews My Mum having to go with me cos I get lost that makes me feel guilty cos shes ill with heart condtion works full time Nights yet she has to travel with me.
Recently had to apply to another mcdonalds (I must be crazy however its the only type of Job I can get with my unskilled status especially in the economic climite) also cleaning the hours cant be two long I also cant lift have a weakness in my wrists with the dyspraxia never been able to grip anything apart from in a intimate moment with the fella (haha lowering the tone just kidding) a call centre isnt right either cos I cant multitask Ive tried I couldnt last or understand what I was doing and people look at me and say but you look normal they dont think I have a difficulty so I get the brunt of there anger and they think Im lieing, lol so I try everything most of the time my self esteam in tatters and feeling I AM bloody stupid!
still its better then being branded lazy by snotty job centre personale I badly want to work and I do try very hard, and dont want to feel stupid any more I always feel sociaty wants put a square peg in a round hole and they will saw me down till Im a molded into the shape where I can be acceptable....
Maybe I need prozac? cos its getting me down, bye everyone any sugestions would be fabulous.... seen others with identical probs nice for a change I know dyslexics no dyspraxics so they dont understand me either....
Bye everyone please dont be put off by my moaning cow LOL
I have times where I feel everythings fab just todays not one of them..... LOL