Realising I’m Dyspraxic - now what?

[Mark UK]

I’m 55 and just realising this week that I’m almost definitely dyspraxic and wondering what that means going forward, if anything.

I guess the biggest question might be whether and how to reveal it in situations where it might explain to others why I’m struggling, or need extra support. My main struggle is coordination, even walking over uneven ground, especially downhill. Most other things I think just show up in private - the sequencing of doing practical things like maintenance.

I’m diagnosed autistic, but because I’m pretty neurotypical passing, I don’t find revealing that helpful - it seems like it lands like I’m making a fuss, or making things about me, when I’m normally just signalling i might need a bit of extra time, or struggle with something people won’t expect. So I’m wondering how helpful revealing dyspraxia might be, esp undiagnosed.

So I’m curious how people navigate telling people.

I guess like most people I’d simply experienced my coordination/sequencing difficulties as shame, and hopelessness. And often puzzlement - like why do i struggle with this so much when x doesn’t and i seem to be so much like x otherwise. I was still struggling to catch a ball into my early teens; just managing to kick the ball and not miss was an achievement during mid teens, let alone sending it in an appropriate direction; i couldn’t do any of the gymnastics of young kids; last to be picked for teams; any practical jobs at work; couldn’t and can’t fix anything.

My brother has diagnosed verbal dyspraxia, but like autism back in the early 70s we didn’t get told much what that meant, so i was unaware of non verbal dyspraxia. It was only recently that a friend told me he’d had a diagnosis as a child and mentioned a few traits that it started making Me wonder. Then this week I was on a 5 day course with a lot of practical hand work and it was clear to me my struggles were beyond normal. A quick google and then reading some posts here made sense.

It doesn’t all resonate. I’m good at maths, map reading, visualising 3D images, and planning. But lots does, Often I need a gap between someone saying something and Me acting or replying, esp if an instruction or suggestion; learning to drive was beyond me; i have to look at my hands to know left or right; anything practical; body coordination.

I thought for now I’d list how this has shown up in my life, read 1-2 good books, grieve, and then think how I’ll approach a things differently - are there strategies I can adopt, or do I just accept some things.

[Tom fod]

I’m 55 and just realising this week that I’m almost definitely dyspraxic and wondering what that means going forward, if anything.

I guess the biggest question might be whether and how to reveal it in situations where it might explain to others why I’m struggling, or need extra support. My main struggle is coordination, even walking over uneven ground, especially downhill. Most other things I think just show up in private - the sequencing of doing practical things like maintenance.

I’m diagnosed autistic, but because I’m pretty neurotypical passing, I don’t find revealing that helpful - it seems like it lands like I’m making a fuss, or making things about me, when I’m normally just signalling i might need a bit of extra time, or struggle with something people won’t expect. So I’m wondering how helpful revealing dyspraxia might be, esp undiagnosed.

So I’m curious how people navigate telling people.

I guess like most people I’d simply experienced my coordination/sequencing difficulties as shame, and hopelessness. And often puzzlement - like why do i struggle with this so much when x doesn’t and i seem to be so much like x otherwise. I was still struggling to catch a ball into my early teens; just managing to kick the ball and not miss was an achievement during mid teens, let alone sending it in an appropriate direction; i couldn’t do any of the gymnastics of young kids; last to be picked for teams; any practical jobs at work; couldn’t and can’t fix anything.

My brother has diagnosed verbal dyspraxia, but like autism back in the early 70s we didn’t get told much what that meant, so i was unaware of non verbal dyspraxia. It was only recently that a friend told me he’d had a diagnosis as a child and mentioned a few traits that it started making Me wonder. Then this week I was on a 5 day course with a lot of practical hand work and it was clear to me my struggles were beyond normal. A quick google and then reading some posts here made sense.

It doesn’t all resonate. I’m good at maths, map reading, visualising 3D images, and planning. But lots does, Often I need a gap between someone saying something and Me acting or replying, esp if an instruction or suggestion; learning to drive was beyond me; i have to look at my hands to know left or right; anything practical; body coordination.

I thought for now I’d list how this has shown up in my life, read 1-2 good books, grieve, and then think how I’ll approach a things differently - are there strategies I can adopt, or do I just accept some things.

Hi Mark

It can be a challenge to get formal recognition/diagnosis of dyspraxia. Plenty are self-discovered/self-declaring.

Some of uscan do things that are so say on the list of things someone with dyspraxia would never try to attempt. It's more about checking enough of the criteria than all of them.

For some things your best coping strategies might be avoid but other things just doing it a way that works for you is sufficient.

Please feel free to ask any other questions you might have.