Meltdowns - advice for Autistic Parent

[Chill-e]

Hi

I’d really appreciate any lived experience, advice or signposting you can offer.

My son, now in his late teens, was diagnosed with dyspraxia at primary school. He's doing well in his career (works from home) and has a small group of friends he sees now and then, but mostly socialises online through gaming, which I understand is fairly typical for his age.

I'm reaching out because there are occasional behaviours at home that seem to cause him distress and also create some tension for the rest of us — and I’d really like to help him find the right kind of support.

During gaming, he can sometimes become overwhelmed — especially if we interrupt him e.g. asking him to stop banging his desk. His reactions can escalate quickly, sometimes including slamming doors or even briefly pushing me or his mum. It’s not constant, but enough that I’m concerned he may be struggling emotionally or with self-regulation.

I’m late-diagnosed autistic myself, and while I know he doesn’t have an autism diagnosis, I’ve wondered if what I’ve come to understand as meltdowns might also occur in people with dyspraxia?

I haven’t been able to find much about this, so would really value any insight from others with similar experiences.

He received support as a child (speech and language therapy, physiotherapy, etc.) but that all ended years ago. I’m unsure what adult support might be available now — whether he should start with the GP, look into Talking Therapies, seek out dyspraxia support groups or charities, or something else entirely.

I realise support can be hard to access and that it’s ultimately his decision, but I want to be in a position to guide and encourage him when he’s ready. If anyone knows of useful directories, regional services or just has advice based on your own journey, I’d be really grateful.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

[Tom fod]

Hi Chill-e

There is crossover between dyspraxic and autistic traits though there can be wilful denial of this as often dyspraxics are sensitive to people lumping them in with other neurodivergent conditions.

I've not played video games for some years as they were making me feel motion sickness with changing camera angles. I was definitely not happy to be distracted from my immersion and some things would result in me swearing and banging. Men as you are probably well aware are far less open to opening up emotionally and with dyspraxia making sense of how we feel and getting the right words out are a cause for worry less people misinterpret our words and decide we need sectioning. Dyspraxia has a big dollop of associated anxiety and very often there's a vicious circle.

The Dyspraxia Foundation regrettably folded in 2024 so there is no longer a dedicated charity and not a great deal of dyspraxia-specific support or counselling available at all. Connecting with other dyspraxics is really worthwhle and finding this forum helped me significantly when I came looking for answers in 2011.

Here's a list of resources that I've compiled
https://www.dyspraxicadults.org.uk/foru ... php?t=7385

[Chill-e]

Hi Tom fod

I appreciate your reply and the resource list.

The Dyspraxia Foundation were really helpful when we had to print info for school, so sorry to hear they no longer exist

Will see if he's willing to book a GP appointment or Talking Therapies, and take it from there. Thank You!

[Yachell]

I’d recommend starting with your GP to explore adult support options, like therapy for emotional regulation or dyspraxia-specific services. Support groups for neurodivergent adults might also be helpful. It’s a tough balance, but it’s great that you’re looking into ways to help him manage these challenges.

[Chill-e]

Hi Yachell

Thank You for your advice - will pass on message. We did talk after dinner last night - which he did actually stay and engage with. Will check, in a few weeks

My other child is probably ND too: completely missed by us, school and doctors (other than Anxiety) and just finishing her Uni final year. So they will be looking for an assessment too soon, and we could all be walking a similar journey together

[Yachell]

I can relate to the overwhelm during gaming. Dyspraxia can make emotional regulation tough, and I’ve had similar reactions. I’d start with the GP to explore options like CBT or Talking Therapies.

[Chill-e]

After previous chat with son and me sending him some info via email. He has now said he won't be contacting his GP, his choice (now almost 20) so will now leave. Thanks for your replies.