Dyspraxic Adults

Hi everyone,

I have been with my boyfriend (he's a professional in his 30s) for 6 months now and things are going well, however I have noticed some self-care and personal hygiene behaviours that I'm trying to make sense of. He has dyspraxia and I guess I want to know if what I'm noticing may be to do with that.

I have noticed that he doesn't take his time showering or brushing his teeth, and does this really quickly and ultimately, not very effectively. He also sometimes does not appear to wipe well after using the bathroom. I haven't raised this with him yet because I care about him deeply and don't want to hurt his feelings.

Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated x

He sounds like the total opposite of myself (I do take my time on all counts and do my best to not miss anything.) If he is insecure, it'll be tough, but no matter what, you should find a way to tell him. He might not realise it, and it certainly sounds unpleasant to be around for extended periods of time.

A tip on the brushing - a fair few electric toothbrushes have timers. Timers helped me immensely, and I would recommend it. No tips on wiping or showering though, that's a personal thing that I don't think I can help with.

Yeah, I would be hesitant to like this too heavily with dyspraxia because although motor difficulties in the hands can make the finer arts of hair styling, precision shaving etc difficult... being dirty is being dirty. More likely linked to personality or at a stretch if they’re going through a time of poor mental health, low self esteem etc.

To be fair, Jim, mental health and low self esteem can be caused (if indirectly) by Dyspraxia, so it could still be related. And for what it's worth, I'm a lot more attentive to my grooming than I was as a kid/teen, and a lot of that is because people brought it up (and in the case of my teeth, one cracked on a shotgun pellet in my food, ended up in crazy pain. Oral hygiene became a priority after that!)

Thank you so much for your replies. I think the electric toothbrush with the timer is a great idea!! It's also helpful for me to know that the behaviours I'm seeing aren't necessarily linked to his dyspraxia; this will help me in approaching the subject.