Anger and Difficulty Letting go

[allesandro]

I have difficulty with anger and letting go of things, particularly when talking on the phone with 'customer service' representatives, particularly when I'm dealing with incompetence and what I believe to be unfair or disrespectful behavior. When I encounter this behavior I raise my voice and become condescending which then gives these people the moral high ground to say OMG you're yelling at me! It therefore doesn't matter how bad my performance is because you have dared to raise your voice to me. They on the other hand can be as passive aggressive as the day is long, but it's OK because they didn't raise their voice. I then have difficulty letting go of the experience and play it over and over again in my head. It's exhausting. I don't know if anyone else struggles with this problem.

[Tom fod]

Definitely applies to me. I'm like a dog with a bone and am not one to let something go, especially if I feel like I'm being fobbed off.

It definitely pays to try to use charm with call centre operatives. Regrettably they don't always have the authority or knowledge to understand or deal quickly with and effectively resolve what you have called about. It can be really easy to become vexed by them but when that happens they pretty much have the power to end your call and you have to call back and hope you get someone else and that they haven't shared notes about 'nightmare callers'

On the other side of the coin I dread calls from certain people, but maybe some call me as they know that whilst it might be a difficult call I will usually be able to resolve their issue or tell them directly if what what they want is just not possible.

If I have not achieved all that I feel I should have or where I have not managed to adhere to the high standards I set for myself, it does plague me for a lot longer.

[allesandro]

Thanks. It's true, I also am like a dog with a bone when i feel I'm being disrespected or when my time is wasted, and there is no acknowledgment of that. But you are right, these people do have the power to end the phone call and one does end up with a 'reputation' that makes you about as famous as a tart at the high school prom. I too have no solution for this problem at the moment.

[Lunaloop]

Yep. If you ever heard 2pacs "hit em up" thats how I end up talking to customer service when i get fisteated with a situation im dwaling with when they are in the wrong and not doing anything abkut it. Including my housing association. Yes I've had police at my door lol. I get more angry as I'm talking about something so if I'm making a complaint I get anger and angrier then I dunno split into some maniac and just say the most outrageous stuff in rage. I worry myself sometimes but I dint get therapy no matter how many times I get referred. I should have someone do commutation for me but it's very hard to get supoort and appointments are sparce so one it takes 6 appointments to complete a task, so I attempt alone and end up getting arrested. I'm just getting worst tbh when comes to doing any calls emails forms etc.

[Tom fod]

I think the problem can be that officials don't necessarily have the autonomy to give you everything you want.
Threatenening them or their organisation will put them on the defensive and they won't be minded to even try to help.

Can well understand your frustration as some organisations don't care. Unfortunately they care even less if you're offensive.
towards them.