Romantic relationships

david456 · Post by **david456** » Tue Feb 06, 2007 10:53 pm

I get bored being on my own, I'd just like some company, someone to hang out with.

I hate the 14th Feb, people snogging everywhere. It just bugs me. With the greatest of respect get a room! They may be in love and everything, but that's just what you want if your single is everyone together.

People don't need to see others with their tongue down each others throats in public.

Post by **Daniel** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 1:17 am

The good thing about the 14th Feb is that it's still very much winter so there's limited capacity for the romantic to be out and about unless they're wanting frost bite; fortunately a far cry from a Parisian spring with amorous lovers on every street corner in passionate embraces. Aside from all the sloppy rubbish in the media I find it quiet missable.

I'm not too bothered about being alone. The alternative is hard work and time consuming and something which I've found to be positive for a while but generally not something that's worked in the long term. I've got plenty to keep me busy for now and there are loads of good friends online. Tis good enough for me!

robyn · Post by **robyn** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 11:21 am

I LOVE couples who are obviously happy to be together. there are some to over the top, but even that is so much better than couples who are totally unaffectionate. Even when Iv been single or fighting with a boyf I dont mind others being happy in love, it gives me hope, and its so much nicer than people with miserable faces, they just make me more depressed

Esioul · Post by **Esioul** » Fri Feb 09, 2007 12:00 pm

I've always hated the 14th, whether I've been in a relationship or not. There's so much hype abotu it that it inevitably goes wrong.

donnaf · Post by **donnaf** » Fri Feb 09, 2007 5:02 pm

I personally don't bother with valentines day. I think it's a real rip off. I like the sentiment behind it but I don't feel the need to prove my love to my fella on just one day of the year, I do that most days (barf)

rah · Post by **rah** » Fri Feb 09, 2007 5:41 pm

i need to get this off my chest, i'm sorry!

i have met the most amazing guy...he's funny and sweet and completely wonderful...just thinking about him makes me feel all funny inside and it's been a long time since i felt that.

we work together and get on so well, the conversation is so easy when normally i turn into a babbling mess around guys that i'm attracted to.

but....he has a girlfriend. i don't intend to try to split them up, i would never do that, but i'm absolutely crazy about him. i think he likes me too, as he offers me lifts home from work even though he lives in completely the opposite direction and he's been texting me a lot.

i'm sure that i'll probably end up heartbroken, but he makes me so unbelievably happy...

david456 · Post by **david456** » Sat Feb 10, 2007 12:00 am

I'd love to say It will have a happy ending, but I can't. The guy is just being nice. Sure, I'm sure he likes you, but trying to persue him will only end in tears.

There's been girls that I have liked in the past, but they have had boyfriends. One for a few years, it's tough, but I just hope to meet someone who's single and I click with.

rah · Post by **rah** » Sat Feb 10, 2007 11:26 am

yeah, i'm sure you're right and it will end in tears but in all honesty i'm willing to take the risk because that's what life's about really, isn't it?

it's half term now and i shan't be seeing him for a week so i guess this should be a good way of figuring out what's going on.

robyn · Post by **robyn** » Sat Feb 10, 2007 12:24 pm

clicking with someone is a fab thing all in itself, it doesnt need to lead to anything other than being mates, if you both find yourselves single down the line then even better, but take care of yourself

Post by **Shadwell** » Sat Feb 10, 2007 4:27 pm

Rah, I would suggest being super careful, as it can lead to feelings, have fun, and don't let it be anymore than that while someone else is on the scene so to say!

as if he is the kid of bloke to have girls falling for him, then it will be you, and his present gf/whatever that will get hurt in the long run, while he is laughing.

otherwise just think of it as a great friend, and nothing more, and enjoy it

rah · Post by **rah** » Sat Feb 10, 2007 5:59 pm

cheers for the advice everyone

i'm trying my best to not fall for him any more than i have done already, he's becoming a pretty good friend after all and i don't want to ruin that.

i do think that he's being genuine though and isn't trying to mess me around...i've had my heart broken many a time by men who led me on just because they could but i honestly don't think that he'd do that intentionally. i know that i probably sound lovestruck and nieve...i guess you'll just have to take my word for it that i'm not!

ah well....guess i'll just have to see what happens...

Lithium_joe · Post by **Lithium_joe** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 12:21 am

The trick if you are in a relationship to handling the 14th is just to go that extra mile for the other person to remind them you love them - it needn't be typical or overthetop or hyper expensive but if it's personal and heartfelt it should be well received.

If your not in a relationship use it as an excuse to treat yourself to something. Operate on the basis that if no-one is going to treat you on your behalf you might as well do it for yourself! ;-)

Reading this board and this forum I've got a sense that a lot of people find handling relationships tricky (of all kinds not just the romanctic or aspiring to romance kind)

Love, when it arrived, did so when I was a student at university in 2001 - I met a girl online and we were just good friends and then one daysomethign just changed and I found myself being ...well just always thinking about her.

It helped I was always up late writing essays and she was across the Atlantic in and so the 6 hour time difference made for good conversations.

I remember I introduced myself with what has to be a classic chat-up line and one I don't recommend - it was hardly Shakespere.

She had described herself as the muse of procrastinating novelists so I swaggered over and typed: "oh muse of procrastinating novelists, will your powers extended to a struggling essaysist?"

She said no, they wouldn't.

but that was how this all started.

So one day I find myself just caring about this person: what they thought , how they were - they were just always on my mind. I consulted one of my good friends about this - Kaz - a delightfully tactless lady who when I'd finished tryign to explain this curious obsession, sighed, smacked me over the head, and said: "your're in love yer gret lemon!"

Which came as something of a shock and she was right!

imagine realising you've fallen for someone who'll you can never meet. Well read on....

Fast forward and I graduate and I have an opportunity to travel to America - and I stay with this girl and her family and we really hit it off and we realise that we're not just friends even unrequited lovers separated by an ocean but that we actually both really liked each other and loved spending time with the other. We were completely ourselves and comfortable with the other person.

The next few years are marked by us crisscrossing the ocean occassonally to see each other.

And it's been hard - I can't pretend it hasn't - Long distance relationships are always difficult and I do not recommend overseas relationships unless you have an extremly strong will. On the other hand I see a lot of people here who've said they don't like beign crowded in a relationship. Well I have a solution for you all!

The longest time she and I have ever spent apart was 11 months. not fun when you miss someone.

I proposed in 2004 (I know 2007 already but money and jobs are making this take longer than it reasonably ought to.)

She currently is over in the UK completing a masters degree so we've spent more time together this year than ever - and it's been wonderful.

She is my best friend and makes me happy still and I make her happy too. :-)

Amanda Dillon - I LOVE YOU.

She flew back to the states today for an Easter break and I'm flying over there myself in a fortnight.

All relationships are tricky affairs - I imagine for us dyspraxics there are a fair few more complications than most (it's my occasional obliviousness that Amanda finds the most frustrating thing about my disabilty) - but she is incredibly patient and understands my quirky bits as I understand and accept hers. Once you realide modt people are just plain odd, the rest is just wrinkles.

Being yourself and being happy with who you are is a big step towards finding someone you can love who will love you back.

and that is one of the greatest feelings in the world.

and I didn't mention cuddling once.

Post by **Shadwell** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 3:26 am

Luthium,

I do suggest holding on to what you got, as it will not only proove true love will last, but what you got is something super special.

just wished mine ended up the same way! even though it was a lot less mileage.

I say, as I am sure most others would say good luck to you, and hope that she is the one for you, and the rest of your natural lives.

I have a friend in america, and still keep in touch, never met eachother in person though, even though we get on well over all other communications, it sounds like we would het on like a house on fire!

but as she is now married with a nearly 3 year old son, then communication has become scares, the plane attacks was about the worst time for me, as communication started going down hill fast then.

and then with the floods over there, and it has been hard to get her to reply to my e-mails now.

so have fun, and really do enjoy the time you spend together.

Lithium_joe · Post by **Lithium_joe** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 1:01 pm

Oh we'll be married one of these days I intend to see to it. I'm starting teacher training in September and hopefully thereafter regular paychecks and financial stabilty to move into marriage. We are quite settled on the idea and will make a welcome change after so much time spent apart.:-)

some photos for the incurably curious taken at Christmas 2004 at her grandmother's farm in the Apalachians:

Me (looking windswept and interesting)
http://public.fotki.com/CliveOstrich/ch ... ric-7.html

Amanda (looking rustic and farmhandy)
http://public.fotki.com/CliveOstrich/ch ... cnv13.html

and the pair of us goofing about in the kitchen:
http://public.fotki.com/CliveOstrich/ch ... 00021.html

fuzzy · Post by **fuzzy** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 9:17 pm

Aaawwww congrats Lithium!!! What a nice tale to read