Introducing yourself in the real world.

Talk about socialising, making friends and relationships

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swan crow
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Introducing yourself in the real world.

Post by swan crow »

So yesterday I was sitting down and thinking, :-k ](*,)
And I thought about something that I had read earlier that day which was that dyspraxia is on the autism spectrum, therefore is it safe to say that I am autistic?

And then I started to slowly repeat to myself "I'm autistic, I have autism."
isntantly something was just abit more relaxed in me, life made more sense.
Thinking back to my rejections, or misunderstandings with people, it all made more sense. Hurtful comments from women and Friends made sense, I've been called a psychopath several times as well as bipolar.

And I think, I honestly think that this is because dyspraxia is a hidden disability and for some reason I have done the utmost to hide it even better, and in doing that people have gained a stronger idea of who i am not.


And so I think it then from now on vital that I introduce myself, in meaningful situations and circumstances as somebody with autism, which leads me to my question.

How do you introduce yourself as someone that suffers with dyspraxia?
And when do you tell people, I guess it is dependent on circumstances but is there a point when you have 'the talk'?


I am wary of using autisim as an excuse for everything but;

Of all the battles and arguments and failed relationships that I have had in my life, for some reason I feel that if I told the person I suffer with autism a more accuerate understanding would be had of myself and behaviour
Tom fod
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Re: Introducing yourself in the real world.

Post by Tom fod »

It's quite a contentious area. While there is a great degree of crossover with shared traits, Dyspraxia is not on the Spectrum. However, just to further muddy the waters, some people with Dyspraxia are Autistic too. There is a bit of a move towards use of the Term Neurodivergent, which captures that we don't necessarily think or respond in the way that neuro typical folk do.

Other people often make observations about what they believe is typically Dyspraxic or Autistic though this is not really based on expert knowledge. We're all unique and will present uniquely and respond and interact differently to different situations at different times based on a whole host of different variables, How we've been brought up, learned behaviours/reactions, How tired, stressed or overwhelmed we might feel etc. As Neurodivergent people we're all trained/expected to mask and sometimes the strain of having to maintain this facade of normality causes us real harm.

Everyone is different and some are keen not to say 'suffer with' For others the suffering is very real.

Whether you formally diagnosed/assessed as, or self-identify as Dyspraxic, Autistic or both (or even Neurodivergent), try to see at as an explanation rather than an excuse. You are more than your labels and they don't necessarily have to define everything about you.
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Shivanot1972
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Re: Introducing yourself in the real world.

Post by Shivanot1972 »

Hello,
I have dyspraxia and it is making sex difficult, i already have difficulty with washing up and tidying stuff away quickly. Does anyone have any suggestions?

It makes me feel very vulnerable and i am not stupid, and i justs want to get on with my life. I speak french and german and i play musical instrumetnst, so the brain compensates there. :grin:
FrankieSoup
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Re: Introducing yourself in the real world.

Post by FrankieSoup »

Shivanot1972 wrote: Mon Feb 21, 2022 7:31 pm Hello,
I have dyspraxia and it is making sex difficult, i already have difficulty with washing up and tidying stuff away quickly. Does anyone have any suggestions?

It makes me feel very vulnerable and i am not stupid, and i justs want to get on with my life. I speak french and german and i play musical instrumetnst, so the brain compensates there. :grin:
I think the best thing I can suggest is to be kind to yourself. :ghug:

I'm constantly breaking drinking glasses when I wash up/use them/put them down so I've taken to drinking out of old jars because it's just cheaper this way and the glass seems to be stronger too, but this isn't for everyone (they're not even nice Mason jars. They're old Morrisons Mayo jars :D )

I don't have any answers re tidying things away - I'm currently trying to do one 'chore' per day before I sit down to study. Today I hoovered the living room, tomorrow I'll do the stairs. I think (in my two weeks of reading! Ha! I am definitely not an expert!) that we're likely to have lower muscle tone so we're likely to get tired more easily and likely to need to rest more. So maybe do A Thing, then rest, then do Another Thing, then rest?

I've spent a really long time feeling childish in comparison to my partner, who can concentrate on driving for more than an hour at a time, or can wash the dishes without breaking anything or missing a spot, or can play ball games with the kids and not injure anyone... it's hard. I don't know your gender, but I do know that as a woman, I feel diminished for not being able to do the things expected of me by society. Not to blow my own trumpet, but I am clever and I think that's worked against me a lot of the time - "How come you can speak two languages but you can't sweep the floor without hitting yourself in the face?" etc. It might be the same for you?

I'm here if you want to talk about specific things. You mentioned sex but I don't know how specific you'd like the conversation. I am fairly shameless so ask and I'll probably answer ;) You could also send me a private message if there's something in particular.

In short, don't be alone :hug:
Tom fod
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Re: Introducing yourself in the real world.

Post by Tom fod »

Shivanot1972 wrote: Mon Feb 21, 2022 7:31 pm Hello,
I have dyspraxia and it is making sex difficult, i already have difficulty with washing up and tidying stuff away quickly. Does anyone have any suggestions?

It makes me feel very vulnerable and i am not stupid, and i justs want to get on with my life. I speak french and german and i play musical instrumetnst, so the brain compensates there. :grin:
Hi and welcome

I definitely agree on the need to be kind to ourselves! We're usually of average - higher intelligence and our difficulties with executive function and/or are too often wrongly perceived as laziness/lack of effort or intelligence. These People should take a long hard look in the mirror IMHO!

For understanding, tidying and getting stuff done strategies I would definitely commend the How To ADHD channel on You Tube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-nPM1 ... ZGkcgy_95Q and/or Fly Lady. net http://www.flylady.net/d/getting-starte ... /routines/. While not specifically Dyspraxia related there are useful strategies that may help. I'm starting to wonder if I should get a dishwasher as reportedly they're more efficient.

See also viewtopic.php?t=7385

I've got a Mighty Mug Pint glass that is plastic with a base that if set down properly resists being tipped over. They do Travel Mugs too. Some glassware is more hardwearing.

Thank you Fran for offering to answer the sex questions.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
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