Hi everybody,
I'm 24, an English teacher (secondary) and struggling.
Not with thejob, although the organisation issues don't help, but with everything else.
My mum's a physio swho has worked with me since I was diagnosed when I was 3, so most of the time people don't realise there's anything 'wrong'... I almost wish they did. When I can hardly stand, fall over, walk into things, or have a complete spaz out - I just wish that people could understand. Half the time people don't even know what dyspraxia is if I do explain. Or they're so ignorant it's beyond belief.
I do intend to go part time eventually to try and combat the fatigue.
I'm so frustrated at the moment though. My husband and I moved into a new house four months ago and I'm really struggling with housework. It's my birthday party tomorrow and hubby's out so I've spent this afternoon cleaning like a maniac. I'm not half way through yet and my joints have all gone, my muscles are all shaky and I'm exhausted. Hubby does his best but even he forgets that I do have physical problems.
I just want to have other people who understand that I can talk to - maybe here?
Newbie saying hi (and a bit of a rant sorry)
Moderator: Moderator Team
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Jackyboy86
- Getting settled in
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 12:11 pm
- Location: London
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Re: Newbie saying hi (and a bit of a rant sorry)
Hey, welcome.
I'm new here myself, but it seems nice here!
I have hell reminding people to 'check their priviledge'.
No, I can't clean the flat. There's expensive crockery that needs to be moved.
Get rid of the breakables and i'll do the rest.
No, boss. I can't fit 100 things into my day and remember what i'm supposed to be doing, when, and with what agenda.
No, Mr Job Centre man. I can't fill in your 100 forms and no, I can't use your touch screen system. No, I can't quickly write this out for you. I can type it. Oh, you don't want to let me print it? What a surprise...
Yes, I'm covered by the DDA, but you don't seem to care...
No, Mr Magistrate. I can't provide you with written proof of my learning difficulties to prove that I can't organise myself. That would require organisational skills to remember where I put it, if I actually managed to get it home when I was diagnosed.
*shakes head*
Sorry, back now.
It's a pain, but gentle reminders regularly help.
Put it on the agenda - just because people can't see it, doesn't mean they can't do anything to help.
Now sit down, relax a bit. Give yourself a pat on the back. I can't clean my flat by myself - so you've done well to get so far by yourself.
Have a cuppa and put your feet up.
Oh, and Happy Birthday!
I'm new here myself, but it seems nice here!
I have hell reminding people to 'check their priviledge'.
No, I can't clean the flat. There's expensive crockery that needs to be moved.
Get rid of the breakables and i'll do the rest.
No, boss. I can't fit 100 things into my day and remember what i'm supposed to be doing, when, and with what agenda.
No, Mr Job Centre man. I can't fill in your 100 forms and no, I can't use your touch screen system. No, I can't quickly write this out for you. I can type it. Oh, you don't want to let me print it? What a surprise...
Yes, I'm covered by the DDA, but you don't seem to care...
No, Mr Magistrate. I can't provide you with written proof of my learning difficulties to prove that I can't organise myself. That would require organisational skills to remember where I put it, if I actually managed to get it home when I was diagnosed.
*shakes head*
Sorry, back now.
It's a pain, but gentle reminders regularly help.
Put it on the agenda - just because people can't see it, doesn't mean they can't do anything to help.
Now sit down, relax a bit. Give yourself a pat on the back. I can't clean my flat by myself - so you've done well to get so far by yourself.
Have a cuppa and put your feet up.
Oh, and Happy Birthday!
Re: Newbie saying hi (and a bit of a rant sorry)
Hey Smoofle (cool name) and happy birthday!!!
I so understand how you feel, I find even doing a small amount of cleaning physically draining, I still have quite a few things to do before my boyfriend gets back like fire off a few job apps, wash up, do a bit more cleaning and tidying, get tea and have a bath. I have already done some cleaning today, I've done the shopping, been to the Drs and done little errands like go to the bank. Luckily my fella isn't due back til quite a bit later (post work drinks) else I'd be screwed lol. I've had a few bad days this week where I've been what I call 'super dyspraxic' i.e. I've been showing more dyspraxia symptoms than is usual. I have cut myself with a knife, stubbed my toe so hard I cracked a nail (was horrendously painful), forgotten the meat slicer at work has spikes and stabbed my cuticle and scraped my hand on a sharp corner in the last few days. I find it's very hard getting people to understand, my boyfriend does more than most but he also forgets that I have my limitations sometimes. I'm getting fed up with people saying 'oh 'but I forgot' is always your excuse...', I genuinely DID forget (had that ALL my childhood and it pissed me off because I was genuinely forgetting I didn't understand why I was being accused of lying!!!
My parents don't really get it, my Dad's memory is bad and he keeps thinking I'm dyslexic bless him. My boyfriend is trying his best to understand and he appreciates I'm wired up differently to him. I've told a few friends, some have been sympathetic, others have just sort of ignored it, one of my best friends ignored my message saying I'd been diagnosed, my best friend responded with 'aww, bless ya' and has said no more about it (when I told her I was going to be seeing a neurologist to assess me for Dyspraxia and explained what it was she just pondered if she had it (trust me, she doesn't)), others have mainly just said 'aww'. The best response I've had from telling someone (aside from a former colleague who then told me he was also dyspraxic - yay! but his is milder than mine, the only thing we had in common was struggling to learn to drive really and a tendency to drop things) was a friend who is normally not known for her tact. she sent me a lovely message saying she's pleased I've had my condition recognised, that she thinks I've done really well to overcome it so far and that if I need to talk I can just ring anytime. She's been a star actually.
Out of interest can I ask the sorts of people you have told? I'm guessing I should tell my boyfriend's family (we're pretty serious, almost 3 years together) as they've been on at me to learn to drive again. Although maybe my boyfriend should be the one to tell them, I'm not sure. The main negative reaction I've had was from a former colleague who was lovely but expressed shock that it 'counted' as a disability (try living with it love). Also, what negative reactions have you had? (i.e. have you had some twunt along the 'dyslexia is just an excuse for thick kids' school of thought tell you it's not real, or have people done that irritating thing where they helpfully inform you that 'but everyone does that sometimes..'?
which makes you want to get violent?)
I so understand how you feel, I find even doing a small amount of cleaning physically draining, I still have quite a few things to do before my boyfriend gets back like fire off a few job apps, wash up, do a bit more cleaning and tidying, get tea and have a bath. I have already done some cleaning today, I've done the shopping, been to the Drs and done little errands like go to the bank. Luckily my fella isn't due back til quite a bit later (post work drinks) else I'd be screwed lol. I've had a few bad days this week where I've been what I call 'super dyspraxic' i.e. I've been showing more dyspraxia symptoms than is usual. I have cut myself with a knife, stubbed my toe so hard I cracked a nail (was horrendously painful), forgotten the meat slicer at work has spikes and stabbed my cuticle and scraped my hand on a sharp corner in the last few days. I find it's very hard getting people to understand, my boyfriend does more than most but he also forgets that I have my limitations sometimes. I'm getting fed up with people saying 'oh 'but I forgot' is always your excuse...', I genuinely DID forget (had that ALL my childhood and it pissed me off because I was genuinely forgetting I didn't understand why I was being accused of lying!!!
My parents don't really get it, my Dad's memory is bad and he keeps thinking I'm dyslexic bless him. My boyfriend is trying his best to understand and he appreciates I'm wired up differently to him. I've told a few friends, some have been sympathetic, others have just sort of ignored it, one of my best friends ignored my message saying I'd been diagnosed, my best friend responded with 'aww, bless ya' and has said no more about it (when I told her I was going to be seeing a neurologist to assess me for Dyspraxia and explained what it was she just pondered if she had it (trust me, she doesn't)), others have mainly just said 'aww'. The best response I've had from telling someone (aside from a former colleague who then told me he was also dyspraxic - yay! but his is milder than mine, the only thing we had in common was struggling to learn to drive really and a tendency to drop things) was a friend who is normally not known for her tact. she sent me a lovely message saying she's pleased I've had my condition recognised, that she thinks I've done really well to overcome it so far and that if I need to talk I can just ring anytime. She's been a star actually.
Out of interest can I ask the sorts of people you have told? I'm guessing I should tell my boyfriend's family (we're pretty serious, almost 3 years together) as they've been on at me to learn to drive again. Although maybe my boyfriend should be the one to tell them, I'm not sure. The main negative reaction I've had was from a former colleague who was lovely but expressed shock that it 'counted' as a disability (try living with it love). Also, what negative reactions have you had? (i.e. have you had some twunt along the 'dyslexia is just an excuse for thick kids' school of thought tell you it's not real, or have people done that irritating thing where they helpfully inform you that 'but everyone does that sometimes..'?
which makes you want to get violent?)Dyspraxia - Dx Jan 2010, borderline ASD as well plus strong Dyscalculia overlap.
Fibromyalgia - Dx Jan 2011.
Hypermobility - Dx April 2011
Willis-Ekbom Disease - Dx November 2011
I also have Eczema, Rosacea and Trichitollomania. Oh joy
Fibromyalgia - Dx Jan 2011.
Hypermobility - Dx April 2011
Willis-Ekbom Disease - Dx November 2011
I also have Eczema, Rosacea and Trichitollomania. Oh joy
Re: Newbie saying hi (and a bit of a rant sorry)
Hi, so sorry for late reply. Completely forgot about this with all the birthday stuff!
The thing is that I'm so exhausted with work all the time, just the idea of cleaning is exhausting! I know what you mean about the bad days - do you find it's when you're tired? Sorry to hear you've been hurting yourself so much - me too!!! Forgetting things is a nightmare, it makes life very difficult at work (and telling kids off for not keeping deadlines always makes me feel hypocritical.)
My mum understands me inside out bless her, Dad does his best. Most people know - I had a Disabled Students Allowance etc , but they don't really know how much it affects me, I get too embarassed to explain. I can't believe you've had such negative reactions. I've had a few, but nothing major. I hate the 'aww' reaction though! I don't know I just end up feeling like people think I'm trying to make an excuse just for being 'a bit clumsy.'
I bit the bullet the other day and sent one of my best friends a long email explaining all the different symptoms and how it affects me. She's been brilliant, as I knew she would.
I don't know... do you ever feel that you need a wheelchair to get around with to stop it from hurting so damn much? Having a lot of trouble with my joints at the moment.
The thing is that I'm so exhausted with work all the time, just the idea of cleaning is exhausting! I know what you mean about the bad days - do you find it's when you're tired? Sorry to hear you've been hurting yourself so much - me too!!! Forgetting things is a nightmare, it makes life very difficult at work (and telling kids off for not keeping deadlines always makes me feel hypocritical.)
My mum understands me inside out bless her, Dad does his best. Most people know - I had a Disabled Students Allowance etc , but they don't really know how much it affects me, I get too embarassed to explain. I can't believe you've had such negative reactions. I've had a few, but nothing major. I hate the 'aww' reaction though! I don't know I just end up feeling like people think I'm trying to make an excuse just for being 'a bit clumsy.'
I bit the bullet the other day and sent one of my best friends a long email explaining all the different symptoms and how it affects me. She's been brilliant, as I knew she would.
I don't know... do you ever feel that you need a wheelchair to get around with to stop it from hurting so damn much? Having a lot of trouble with my joints at the moment.