Dyspraxia and self-employment

[Ben A]

Hi all,

So late last year I went full-time self-employed with my own business. It's been great to be fair, have never looked back to my old job and wish I had done it sooner. The one thing I really struggle with though, and have always struggled with over the years though, is my quick temper. I know I am hot-headed and I am also really blunt (why make everything flowery, just say it how it is - maybe not the best approach sometimes though!). When things go well - which is most of the time to be fair, lots of happy customers and repeat business/good reviews etc - it's obviously not an issue, but when things go wrong, it can flare up.

There was a bit of an incident this week, where a dongle went missing from a customers laptop they had dropped in for upgrades, and it all went a bit pear-shaped with him insisting it was still here when I knew it wasn't (laptop came in twice in the same day) as I had double-checked my office. Apparently (his words) he didn't like my tone and I came across as rude and aggressive, although I would have said I was more firm and assertive!

I just find I take any criticism really personally and it just sets me off. I wish I wasn't like this, and I know it's not a good character trait particularly in business, let alone in general day-to-day life.

I guess my question is how do you control your anger and outbursts if you feel them coming on, as I know this can be a common issue with dyspraxia.

I really hate the whole dyspraxia thing sometimes. Never feel like I have ever 'fitted in' and I know my temper has probably alienated a few people over the years. My brother and I have had some almighty arguments over the years - but he is a good brother - and family understand more than most people about it all - but it doesn't make it any easier sometimes. He wondered if I should talk to a counsellor to try to get to the root of the anger, as I think a lot of it is probably deep-seated stemming back to my schooling (I went to about 5 different schools of sorts, one particularly bad one), but I'm not so sure it would be of any benefit. Or maybe I just don't want to talk about that time again.

Thanks anyway for reading, would be interesting to hear thoughts on the above.

[michael]

I had the same problem when I had my own business. Temper would flare and sometimes without a lot of warning. Getting ready to get back into business this time online, but still with people. Hoping I can employ some of the mindfulness tecqniques my therapist has been coaxing me to employ.