3 years of lost jobs

Discussions relating to jobs and working, including finding work, interviews, the work place etc.

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craftardly
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3 years of lost jobs

Post by craftardly »

Hi,

This is my first post on these forums, just looking for some help and solidarity really.

I was privately statemented as a kid and got a load of help at primary school, extra teaching, a writing frame, pen and pencil grips etc.

In secondary school I didn't want to look different, so I refused the help, I got out with OK grades, nothing spectacular and then went to college and did a vocational course so I didn't have to sit any more exams.

then I jumped into work.

and all was fine until 2017 when I started climbing ladders.

I have now lost 7 jobs in 4 years. I'm really struggling.

I can't seem to pay attention, people are noting my work is slow, I'm making mistakes. People feel like I'm combative, which I think is down to the fact I'm struggling to pick things up and it's frustrating. I'm a dad and a husband and I feel like I'm failing my family because I can't hold down a job.

I always thought I was 'Over' my dyspraxia, like, I'd learnt to cope and was alright, but clearly, that's not true.

so I'm here, to engage, to ask for help and advice and strategies to help me work.
Tom fod
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Re: 3 years of lost jobs

Post by Tom fod »

craftardly wrote: Tue May 04, 2021 10:36 am Hi,

This is my first post on these forums, just looking for some help and solidarity really.

I was privately statemented as a kid and got a load of help at primary school, extra teaching, a writing frame, pen and pencil grips etc.

In secondary school I didn't want to look different, so I refused the help, I got out with OK grades, nothing spectacular and then went to college and did a vocational course so I didn't have to sit any more exams.

then I jumped into work.

and all was fine until 2017 when I started climbing ladders.

I have now lost 7 jobs in 4 years. I'm really struggling.

I can't seem to pay attention, people are noting my work is slow, I'm making mistakes. People feel like I'm combative, which I think is down to the fact I'm struggling to pick things up and it's frustrating. I'm a dad and a husband and I feel like I'm failing my family because I can't hold down a job.

I always thought I was 'Over' my dyspraxia, like, I'd learnt to cope and was alright, but clearly, that's not true.

so I'm here, to engage, to ask for help and advice and strategies to help me work.
Have you enquired with your GP? it would be useful to speak to them to tell them the problems you're experiencing and how these are impacting you and your family. Some of us experience ADHD traits and may even tip the threshold for formal diagnosis.
If your GP says they're unwilling or unable to help it might be worth raising with Jobcentre Plus or picking up with Scope, your MP or Citizens advice.
Dyspraxia and the stress/anxiety we so often experience as part and parcel, do very much have a tendency to put us on edge and/or on the defensive and at odds with managers and/or our peers.

When you say climbing ladders, are you losing jobs due to what they see as your failure to follow their Health & Safety regulations/policies?
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
craftardly
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Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:18 am

Re: 3 years of lost jobs

Post by craftardly »

Hi Tom,

sorry, no, by climbing ladders I meant moving up in the company/roles.

Thank you for your advice, it's given me lots to think about and do. I'm really appreciative to have a place where people understand.
Tom fod
Administrator
Posts: 2501
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 9:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: 3 years of lost jobs

Post by Tom fod »

You're welome.

Ah the greasy pole of promotion/advancement.

I think many have a tendency to want to try to stick with what is safe/familiar. Change is not always bad but it can feel like something we dread, especially when that change erodes our certainty and sense of control of our destiny/what we know.. Equally other people and their different ways can feel alien/grating. Some tolerate too much crap, others say what they mean without sugar coating which doesn't always go down well.

Some days things just go badly and that can shatter our own and others confidence in our abilities. Setbacks can still hit us hard even when we think we might be used to them.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
craftardly
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:18 am

Re: 3 years of lost jobs

Post by craftardly »

Yeah,

I think if I'm honest, I feel a bit worthless, I've always wanted to provide for my family, and that's why I kept taking the promotions and the new jobs with more money and failing every time.

now I'm having to re-evaluate, and look lower, at somewhere I can be comfortable and move at my own pace without too much pressure.

It's just hard to find that.
Katy456
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Location: Uk

Re: 3 years of lost jobs

Post by Katy456 »

Dyspaxia can give you low self-esteem. Have you tried contacting any of the dsypaxic associations? They may point you to a job with some sort of support. Don't be so hard on yourself I wasn't diagnosed till 36 it kinda flipped my life upside down but I've settled now. I'm doing a degree a paramedic science one. Yes its hard but I love it and received a couple of a* the last two years so it can be achieved. I've worked in management and have run my own company ill be honest unless they know they will treat you like that and totally not understand you, it's time to be honest its not a bad thing to admit it then maybe they'd be more considerate x good luck x
Tom fod
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Location: SW UK

Re: 3 years of lost jobs

Post by Tom fod »

craftardly wrote: Wed May 05, 2021 9:48 am Yeah,

I think if I'm honest, I feel a bit worthless, I've always wanted to provide for my family, and that's why I kept taking the promotions and the new jobs with more money and failing every time.

now I'm having to re-evaluate, and look lower, at somewhere I can be comfortable and move at my own pace without too much pressure.

It's just hard to find that.
That's understandable. I'm not sure it's fair to entirely blame yourself. The employment market is pretty volatile due to the ongoing pandemic and unless you're fortunate enough to have found and established yourself with a good employer and management who understand you and have your back. Finding a role suited to ourselves is no mean feat, as is trying to find the right balance of pay vs a work life balance.
I think we tend to see the bigger picture so that can often put as odds with colleagues/managers who might not give us the flexibility and/or support we need as some days we appear capable and other days we can feel really out of our depth. It might be worth looking to see if Genius Within or Exceptional Individuals can offer you anything in terms of useful career guidance.

Not sure working for a a charity ever pays that highly unless you can land a top executive job with a well known large charity. Based in Hitchin Herts, the Dyspraxia Foundation are small and can't offer big or necessarily competitive salaries as they're doing their best to try to get people to understand and help people with a nebulous condition and it's really tough.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
craftardly
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:18 am

Re: 3 years of lost jobs

Post by craftardly »

Thank you for those. I've never heard of either organisation, I've been absorbing their websites all day. really helpful!
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