New here - applying for PhD and feeling super stressed!

A place to talk about your experience of living with Dyspraxia

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QJC
New member - welcome them!
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2020 9:30 pm

New here - applying for PhD and feeling super stressed!

Post by QJC »

Hi

I am 29, I got diagnosed with dyspraxia when I was 17. Get all the normal ‘symptoms’, incredibly clumsy, say the wrong words a lot and loss of concentration are probably the immediate things but like everyone else, there’s a lot that aren’t that obvious to start with. Anyway, I am applying for a PhD at the moment and haven’t been in academia since September when I finished my masters.

I have a million questions for advice but I guess I would love to know how people deal with confidence? I feel like I lose my confidence very quickly if something doesn’t go as plan and just to start off with it’s pretty low, this is something peers and tutors pick up on a lot - with frequently being told to stop saying sorry. I guess I get so overwhelmed by how hard I find certain things, I think ‘oh I can’t do this, I’m not good enough, I’m stupid’ etc.

Anxiety brings on my dyspraxia (or even the other way round, a little bit of a chicken or the egg scenario) so feels like a vicious circle, and the more stressed I am the more obvious it is with the issues I have - like speech or short term memory loss.

Anyway, I don’t mean to go on! yeah just be great if anyone’s in a similar situation or got any advice.

Q
Tom fod
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Re: New here - applying for PhD and feeling super stressed!

Post by Tom fod »

Hi and welcome

There is definitely a relationship between stress and dyspraxia and the vicious circle can very quickly erode what confidence we have. One of the key things I've found is to try to be kinder and more accepting of myself. I think my strategy of being utterly uncompromising with myself is very much a double edged sword.

I've didn't do pursue much beyond A Levels but have found I don't deal well with uncertainty and info overload though I do push the boundaries and things have been easier since I discovered Dyspraxia and being a little more accepting of it.

What field is your Masters /PHD in? You're not stupid. It's more a case you're thinking differently in a very counter intuitive world where a lot of other folk are more Neurotypical than we are.

Look for way to recognise and quell your anxiety and try to avoid comparing yourself too unfavourably to others.

Hope that's a start.
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
QJC
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2020 9:30 pm

Re: New here - applying for PhD and feeling super stressed!

Post by QJC »

Hi Tom

Thank you so much for your reply

Yes, I agree about the double-edged sword part! It feels like it is a good drive but means you're putting yourself down a lot, not that healthy.

Uncertainty is something I struggle with, it is quite crippling, to be honest, all of it feels quite crippling when I get bad waves like this one I am in now.

My master's was in architectural and urban design and my PhD would be in the field of design, homelessness and dignity - (broadly speaking!)

I can't see me getting onto the PhD program, it seems like miles away at the moment...but the deadline is Monday haha.

Is it a recent thing about being dyspraxic? Thanks for all you kind words Tom, they are very helpful.

Q
Tom fod
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Posts: 2561
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 9:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: New here - applying for PhD and feeling super stressed!

Post by Tom fod »

Hi Q

You're very welcome.

I guess it's a case of submitting the application and seeing what happens. Nothing ventured and all that . . .

I learned around 10 years ago and found this Forum was what helped me most. I was probably 'diagnosed' as part of Statement of Special Educational Need but I don't recall it being specifically explained and because most of the support I received seemed geared towards my virtual impairment I only (re)discovered and started on a path towards greater acceptance it in my mid 30s. Till then I pushed myself very hard and hated myself. If anyone did try to explain Dyspraxia to me back then I wasn't listening/interested. I wanted to be 'normal' whatever that is!
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
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