Do I have dyspraxia?

A place to talk about your experience of living with Dyspraxia

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sgzmazha
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Do I have dyspraxia?

Post by sgzmazha »

Hi everyone :) it's really great to find this forum! I am in my late 20s and I have never been diagnosed but I believe I have dyspraxia (and I think ADHD, I am not sure how co-linked these are). Due to my parents' careers I grew up moving countries etc so never really tried to understand why I was behind others and culturally, my parents would always dismiss any sort of 'non-physical/learning' disabilities. I also come from a family of very high achievers, my parents, cousins, siblings are all highly skilled with awards and doctorates etc and in comparison I am definitely the least qualified in my family. It's easy to dismiss things I struggle with, because to an outsider, I still come across 'successful'. I am not sure I am articulating this well. I am an Engineer, I graduated from a good school and have had a good job since. This to many comes across as 'successful' but I really struggle - I know it takes me a lot longer to do things that comes as natural to my peers and colleagues. And it causes me so much stress. I am now doing my masters. I have found ways to work around my dyspraxia most of my life (and personally I find it has given me great strengths like an ability to organise and visualise things because I can't deal with information so I need to structure it which ends up making anything I do more efficient). I have got through most of my life, especially University etc without a diagnosis but now, more than anything, really want to have better understanding of my limitations and find out how I can make life easier for myself - I would like to get a diagnosis. I also constantly feel frustrated that I am not able to achieve to my potential (I know I can do better because I know my brain but I can't seem to get it across practically). In UK, I am finding this process really difficult as an adult and believe I'll have to fork out quite a bit to get a private diagnosis. Before I do that, I wanted to ask for some advice: I understand that it affects us all very differently and to a different degree but over the last month, I have been making a list of everything I struggle with/find different (albeit a mixture of adhd and dyspraxia struggles) and I was wondering if you recognise any of these? If not, I would rather not get a private diagnosis and instead request my gp to figure out what's going on!

Very sorry for this long list :(

1) confusing two words, forgetting how to say some words, can’t get it out, simple words like ‘acquaintance’ (couple of times a day or when having a long conversation/debate)
2) I talk fast and constantly feel the need to fill silence and switch to a new subject
3) when talking, I’ll combine/confuse two words like ... ‘Sunday’ and ‘Monday’ and ‘sumonday’ (not all the time, but maybe once a day)
4) I have ocd tendencies and it causes me a lot of stress (everything needs to be perfect so I'll go to great lengths to make things perfect)
5) how I take in information is the most evident issue daily. I get flustered with more than one instruction (work, life, activities, sports)
6) Example of information overwhelming me: When I go to Tesco (supermarket) to buy say pasta, I'll go to the aisle and I'll have to start at one end (top) and scan every single shelf from one end to the other until I find the item. (In this time, I get frustrated if someone talks to me or distracts me - so ridiculous i know) unlike others who can identify the item straightaway
7) If i am reading something (any activity really), i'll constantly get distracted and switch to other things back and forth
8) When reading, I have to read a long sentence (well any length sentence) at least 3 or 4 times before I'll understand what it's trying to say. Then I'll move onto the next sentence and often to reread the last sentence to stitch them together in my head. It just takes so much longer to read and I find myself putting it off because of the amount of mental energy expensed.
9) I constantly start new projects and activities before finishing the last one. I have a lot of ideas, very creative but I never finish my projects so don't get that feeling of accomplishment
10) Even when I am reading about something I find very interesting (for studies/work), my attention span is awful
11) I can’t think on the spot. I have to prepare for everything. Orangise myself before picking up a call
12) balance and scared of sports etc, even board games because information intake
13) positives: I take my time to take in information then I find patterns and organise information perfectly in my mind so I am very quick and meticulous in my work
14) but because I am slow to take in information and to respond to conversation etc, people can assume I'm not clever/dismiss me
15) I am a visual person -- I take in information much better visually (structured) so when presented with a task/challenge, I'll first break it down and represent it visually
16) Slow in life - it's taken me longer to achieve milestones than my peers, family etc. (It doesn't bother me anymore but it used to do as a teen) This still effects my self confidence hugely which affects my ability to do things
16) my parents have always called me a ‘professor’ as a child sort of like Einstein etc. Someone who is lost in their own world and constantly making silly mistakes
17) also impatient listening to people, especially when they don’t get to the point quickly
18) I do interrupt conversations because I don’t have the patience for when they don’t get to the point quickly or if I suddenly have something to add (I know it’s rude and no one around me has done it as a child, I was brought up my whole life by my parents telling me off and telling me to stop talking so much)
19) I can’t sit still and relax, I do have to always be doing things (in life as well, next project etc)
20) I cannot, cannot prioritise at all. I always get this wrong and I can’t make these decisions either, I hate it maybe because I always get prioritising wrong
21) my concept of time is skewed. I always think I have left plenty of time but I am always stressed to max in last moments and always late
22) I can’t tell left and right apart. At all. I use my hands to tell them apart (my left hand is a little skinnier so when I need to check left/right, I'll put up both hands to see which one)
23) I can’t tell distances etc. No concept of miles vs km or the difference between a meter and 10cm (and I am an engineer!!)
24) directions go over my head, can't read a map (even google)
25) very creative though, lots of ideas for businesses, start ups etc etc
26) I only learned how to tie shoe laces a couple of years ago, that too I do it differently to everyone else, an easy version
27) I can’t make decisions and therefore stress a lot and I don’t deal with stress v eloquently (I get frustrated very easily, flustered)
28) time and I don’t get along but I also struggle to do things for the future. Everything I do is now.
29) always been very impulsive and therefore self destructive (knock on effect on education, relationships, work etc)
30) I am very last minute to everything, no matter how small or how big
31) I am well organised (even though always late) and attention to detail but self taught to manage my stress. E.g. I can't do ANYTHING if my home is a mess so I now have to ALWAYS have it 100% clean to calm my mind. Growing up, until a few years ago, it was always a mess.
32) I am very very empathetic. Overly so.
33) I am very sensitive and care a lot about what people think. Always been a people-pleaser.
34) impulsiveness means I have been very self destructive with money etc in the past, reckless spending, unable to understand or organise money, relationships etc
35) my current situation is very balanced because my husband is very cautious and I’m very impulsive and we have a very good relationship as we have learnt to communicate very well and he has helped me get back on track in life and helped me manage some of these things.
36) low self esteem because under performing
37) I avoid sports/any other activities that require sports or balancing or anything. This affects me socially a lot and I go out of the way to predict social situations that may require something like this and then avoid them

I realise not all of these/or any at all might be due to dyspraxia but might just be my personality but I wanted to see if others who have dyspraxia could relate. Apologies again for such a long post. This has taken me so long to sort out so I am really grateful for your time and advice! As I have tried to think of everything I can over the last month I realise it's a very long list, but I do think I have a mild version of this as I do cope okay now :) just advice would be helpful inc on how to get diagnosis.
Tom fod
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Re: Do I have dyspraxia?

Post by Tom fod »

Hi there and welcome

Dyspraxia and ADHD are often linked and you definitely list some strong and definite Neurodivergent traits associated with both. I found myself saying yes, yes, Me too, to a lot of the things you've listed.

Regrettably awareness of Dyspraxia, even in the UK, is such that many still seem to see Dyspraxia as something you should 'grow out of' and/or incorrectly equate it with low intelligence/performance and may even try to dissuade you in your efforts in trying to gain professional recognition. GPs in the UK often have few if any options for referring adults for assessment and even if you do score a golden ticket, waiting list times can be years. I believe I have some definite ADHD traits of latter but not to the degree that I believe it would be worthwhile trying to pursue diagnosis/medication.

Despite your struggles you clearly have found coping strategies, those these are clearly under strain! Especially so, when you compare yourself to others! It's hard not to, but please do try to avoid this!

Personally, I would investigate whether your employer or university can help, speaking to your manager or HR or the University's Student/Disability support services is a first step.

Trying to find better ways of coping with the associated anxiety is something I would recommend and if you have to pay for anything, CBT to help you better manage your anxiety, may potentially be a better option than paying out approx £800 for assessment tests that could potentially come back as inconclusive.


Please note that in UK terminology/categorisation for Dyspraxia, Dyscalculia Dyslexia, ADHD, are as (a) Specific Learning Difficulty(ies) - SPLDs. Learning Disability in the UK encompasses those who who have a significant or profound intellectual deficit that means they struggle with concepts such as understanding their legal responsibilities or obligations.
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
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