Hello all,
I hope I'm writing this in the right section of this forum but I want to share my experiences as a 29yr old male living with Dyspraxia. In short, I was brought here because of an experience that happened to me just yesterday that has led me to try and understand a little more about Dyspraxia and perhaps confirm that some of the issues I have that I often attribute to other parts of my life might actually be caused, or at least not helped, by having Dyspraxia. It's sometimes. difficult to know exactly what I can and can't attribute to Dyspraxia so I guess that's a lot of the reason for my presence here - to share my confusion and hope somebody with the fortune of having more knowledge can help.
A little bit of background is that I was diagnosed by a medical professional at the age of 3 with Dyspraxia. My parents became aware of a possible problem when the ball that they were throwing me was hitting me directly in the face! I was given therapy, if that's the right terminology, at that time and my parents have told me they did see a profound improvement in those skills. However, when I went to school, there was a complete denial of my diagnosis and I was subsequently moved to a school which was much more understanding and empathetic. As I'm sure is the norm in a child, I don't have much recollection of Dyspraxia hindering my life at that time other than constantly being picked up for holding my pen incorrectly. I actually became a relatively talented footballer playing for local sides in my teens - a lot of practice made good in the end. I achieved 11 GCSES A* to C (in old money) so I was fortunate not to suffer hugely from an academic perspective from my Dyspraxia but I became a little bit more aware of some of my symptoms.
At 5ft 9, I have hands and feet that belie my stature. I have very short hamstrings and subsequently oversized quad muscles. My joints also are oversized when compared with those of people with a similar physiological build. I was over reliant on both my right hand and right foot and even to this day, I'm essentially 'one sided'. I couldn't, and indeed can't, skip or star jump for example. I was often reminded of my overly clumsy nature when mums best cutlery hit the kitchen tiles or my knees bore the scars of my latest trip over the doorstep. Usually I was able to laugh these things off but as a I got into my late teens and early 20's, I experienced things that I now wonder could potentially be attributable to Dyspraxia in some part and this is where a lot of my questions come about.
I always struggled with sleep related anxiety. I distinctly remember at school having very little sleep one night because I had a small meaningless French modular test, the result of which had little consequence to anyone but as anyone with anxiety will testify, this does nothing to take that fear away. In my early adult years, I took my accounting exams and the meer thought of those would cause a night sweats, insomnia, loss of appetite and a generally inhibited life. Cutting a long story short, I was eventually given Citalopram which helped no end and I still take those to this day. I have never linked Dyspraxia and anxiety in any way but reading on various sites and forums, it seems there could be a discernable link?
As I mentioned above, an unfortunate event that happened to me just yesterday has lead me here and forms the basis of this post and my attempts to join some dots to form a deeper understanding. When I was young, my dream job was to be a police officer. At 29 and in a long term stable relationship with secure finances etc, I made the decision to apply. I was lucky enough to be selected and during the medical declaration, I declared my anxiety and medication. After a few questions with occupational health, they were happy to pass me fit. I didn't declare my Dyspraxia because quite simply, I didn't for one moment think it would inhibit me in the role. Yesterday was our self defence training. In short, we would learn to use handcuffs and various self defence techniques to aid our safety on the street. It was a complete unadulterated disaster. Every movement we were taught involved a very precise set of instructions that's designed to protect the officer and offender i.e if offender does this, right foot here, left hand here, move here, head here. The only way I could summarise it was like a very slow dance - also a complete no no for me! I had a complete meltdown at my own incompetence. My anxiety grew, my clarity of thought became a fog and I complete lost control of my emotional control. You can imagine the consequence of such things as a police officer. I very quickly made the decision that I was to withdraw from my training. The risk to myself and my colleagues of such fumbling if I was to pass the selection could be catastrophic and I simply could not ignore that.
Although I'm extremely upset about the events of yesterday, I know the decision is the right one. However, I'm now strong minded enough to take the experiences as a life lesson which I'll pick the bones from and use it to make a better version of myself. As part of doing that, I want to know other peoples experiences, how they have impacted their life, both personal and career and any potential sources of help they have sourced.
With best wishes,
Kev
My experience
Moderator: Moderator Team
Re: My experience
Hi, I don’t think you have made the right decision. When you are passionate about something, like you seem to be about being a police officer, you shouldn’t give up on that. I have lived my life with dyspraxia struggling with sports being last on any team. But I have always found that practice makes it better. If you actually carried on with training you could get better, and if not, try try try again and don’t give up. If you give up on your passion, and blame on it your dyspraxia, you’ll only have yourself to blame.
Yours Truly and Honestly,
TTTADGU
Yours Truly and Honestly,
TTTADGU
Re: My experience
In my personal experience of dyspraxia I found it can be annoying at times and frustrating, because I blame everything on it. Having dyspraxia is like mixing orange juice and apple juice in a blender. You can’t tell which is which anymore, and neither can I with my dyspraxia. I can’t take apart my life and nor can anyone else to find out what life is like without it, or wish upon a star and see my life like that, because that’s not how it works. But what I do know is these are my cards, and I think I play them well, focusing on the aces in my hand and not the jokers. Although I’ve felt bad about my dyspraxia I’ve never been made to feel bad about it because I don’t have to shout it out to the world, just a forum. People don’t care, and I don’t think they’d be bothered if they knew, so I just let them assume I’m clumsy.
Re: My experience
Hi Kev and welcomeKevC90 wrote: ↑Sun Oct 04, 2020 8:08 pm Hello all,
I hope I'm writing this in the right section of this forum but I want to share my experiences as a 29yr old male living with Dyspraxia. In short, I was brought here because of an experience that happened to me just yesterday that has led me to try and understand a little more about Dyspraxia and perhaps confirm that some of the issues I have that I often attribute to other parts of my life might actually be caused, or at least not helped, by having Dyspraxia. It's sometimes. difficult to know exactly what I can and can't attribute to Dyspraxia so I guess that's a lot of the reason for my presence here - to share my confusion and hope somebody with the fortune of having more knowledge can help.
A little bit of background is that I was diagnosed by a medical professional at the age of 3 with Dyspraxia. My parents became aware of a possible problem when the ball that they were throwing me was hitting me directly in the face! I was given therapy, if that's the right terminology, at that time and my parents have told me they did see a profound improvement in those skills. However, when I went to school, there was a complete denial of my diagnosis and I was subsequently moved to a school which was much more understanding and empathetic. As I'm sure is the norm in a child, I don't have much recollection of Dyspraxia hindering my life at that time other than constantly being picked up for holding my pen incorrectly. I actually became a relatively talented footballer playing for local sides in my teens - a lot of practice made good in the end. I achieved 11 GCSES A* to C (in old money) so I was fortunate not to suffer hugely from an academic perspective from my Dyspraxia but I became a little bit more aware of some of my symptoms.
At 5ft 9, I have hands and feet that belie my stature. I have very short hamstrings and subsequently oversized quad muscles. My joints also are oversized when compared with those of people with a similar physiological build. I was over reliant on both my right hand and right foot and even to this day, I'm essentially 'one sided'. I couldn't, and indeed can't, skip or star jump for example. I was often reminded of my overly clumsy nature when mums best cutlery hit the kitchen tiles or my knees bore the scars of my latest trip over the doorstep. Usually I was able to laugh these things off but as a I got into my late teens and early 20's, I experienced things that I now wonder could potentially be attributable to Dyspraxia in some part and this is where a lot of my questions come about.
I always struggled with sleep related anxiety. I distinctly remember at school having very little sleep one night because I had a small meaningless French modular test, the result of which had little consequence to anyone but as anyone with anxiety will testify, this does nothing to take that fear away. In my early adult years, I took my accounting exams and the meer thought of those would cause a night sweats, insomnia, loss of appetite and a generally inhibited life. Cutting a long story short, I was eventually given Citalopram which helped no end and I still take those to this day. I have never linked Dyspraxia and anxiety in any way but reading on various sites and forums, it seems there could be a discernable link?
As I mentioned above, an unfortunate event that happened to me just yesterday has lead me here and forms the basis of this post and my attempts to join some dots to form a deeper understanding. When I was young, my dream job was to be a police officer. At 29 and in a long term stable relationship with secure finances etc, I made the decision to apply. I was lucky enough to be selected and during the medical declaration, I declared my anxiety and medication. After a few questions with occupational health, they were happy to pass me fit. I didn't declare my Dyspraxia because quite simply, I didn't for one moment think it would inhibit me in the role. Yesterday was our self defence training. In short, we would learn to use handcuffs and various self defence techniques to aid our safety on the street. It was a complete unadulterated disaster. Every movement we were taught involved a very precise set of instructions that's designed to protect the officer and offender i.e if offender does this, right foot here, left hand here, move here, head here. The only way I could summarise it was like a very slow dance - also a complete no no for me! I had a complete meltdown at my own incompetence. My anxiety grew, my clarity of thought became a fog and I complete lost control of my emotional control. You can imagine the consequence of such things as a police officer. I very quickly made the decision that I was to withdraw from my training. The risk to myself and my colleagues of such fumbling if I was to pass the selection could be catastrophic and I simply could not ignore that.
Although I'm extremely upset about the events of yesterday, I know the decision is the right one. However, I'm now strong minded enough to take the experiences as a life lesson which I'll pick the bones from and use it to make a better version of myself. As part of doing that, I want to know other peoples experiences, how they have impacted their life, both personal and career and any potential sources of help they have sourced.
With best wishes,
Kev
In this section is fine, I could move it to Work
I think we so often have to try to rationalise the disparity between our theoretical knowledge and ability to perform. We very often do push ourselves and find ourselves feeling out of our depth in a variety of roles that Dyspraxics theoretically should not be able to do. We have had trainee police officers visit the group before as well as others who are required to learn and use restraint techniques. We learn differently so have to put a lot of extra effort in and/or find our own way. It's not my place to declare your decision to be wrong, but I do wonder if it was made overly hastily but you know yourself better than I ever could, and I reckon I would probably have been making the same call were I in your shoes.
I believe there is a definite link between dyspraxia and anxiety. If you find yourself failing at or falling short of what you want to achieve, it tends to have an effect. Some of the time we can power through but sometimes even that regrettably becomes no longer sustainable. I think there are a good many frustrated perfectionists among us!
Not driving is my main difficulty though my visual impairment is more the barrier. Had I not had that excuse, I think learning to drive would have been an immeasurably stressful and expensive undertaking. Despite this, I have managed to do ok driving a desk, though it certainly hasn't been a walk in the park. I only discovered Dyspraxia in my mid 30s as before that tine I didn't know and if someone had explained it, I'm not sure I was listening.
As far as specific help goes, there isn't always a lot out and sadly I suspect a number of Neurodivergent folk regrettably end up on the wrong side of the criminal justice system.
Next week marks Dyspraxia Awareness Week.
Also check out https://www.dyspraxicadults.org.uk/foru ... =14&t=7385
If you have any further questions, please feel free to ask.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)