Hi everyone!
This is the first post I've made regarding dyspraxia, so I don't really know if I've come to the right place, posted this in the right area of the forum etc.
Nonetheless, I feel as though I need to get some stuff off my chest.. stuff that has been bothering me a lot.
I just feel as though dyspraxia has affected nearly every part of my life at this stage. I'm not able to apply my own makeup, straighten my hair, tie my own shoelaces.. I can barely brush my hair and even dressing myself can be a struggle. I'm barely even able to shave my legs. It's so humiliating.
I have extremely low self confidence and self esteem and dyspraxia is not helping this because I just don't have the co ordination to groom myself properly. I don't know what to do. Every day I practice brushing my hair, putting my hair in a ponytail etc, but I can never do it properly, no matter how hard I try. I wish I could be like all my friends who can do these things so easily, and I struggle so much.
I have depression and anxiety too, and a lot of my anxiety is surrounding my appearance. All I want is to be able to look like all the other girls, and do things like a regular 19 year old can do. But I feel like dyspraxia and depression are keeping me in a bubble and they just don't want me to better myself.
I don't know what to do. I feel so lost. I don't know where I can turn to for help about my dyspraxia. It's breaking my heart knowing I can't do so many things.
Sorry about the depressing post, but i just needed to get all this off m chest.
Dyspraxia and associated conditions
Moderator: Moderator Team
Re: Dyspraxia and associated conditions
Hi there!
Welcome to the forum and I'm pleased you've found us. I hope you get as much out of the forums as I do.
It sounds like you're having a tough time and I expect a lot of people on here will relate to what you say. I'm 46 now, and didn't know anything about dyspraxia (let alone that I had it!) until about three years ago. All I knew was that I struggled a lot with things that other people found easy. I struggled to ride a bike, and when I think back I always had trouble with styling my hair and doing things like shaving my legs.
I think beating yourself up about it can make it worse, and that often leads to depression, at least in my experience. It's hard isn't it, because a lot of the time people don't understand and just think you've got to try harder and you're being positive, etc.
I wonder if you've been in touch with the Dyspraxia Foundation - I think they're really helpful and sometimes they have local groups to go to. Also it might be a good idea to look on you tube - it sounds odd, but they often show things like cleaning, or hair styles. I think sometimes we can do things, but they take longer than other people, and you need more guidance. I found with things like driving, that I didn't understand quite basic concepts like turning the wheel back again once I'd turned round a corner (!) and at the time I thought I was stupid. Now that I know about dyspraxia I just say to myself, yes I will find this a bit difficult, but maybe with the right help and patience, and keep practising, I will get there.
I've also realised as I've got older that I've spent too much time worrying about what I can't do, and not played to the strengths I do have. One of the things I get from dyspraxia is that I have a lot of patience with people, and I now work with people with learning disabilities, with reading and writing, and even cooking. I used to think I wasn't any good at cooking, but the more I've done it the better I've got.
I often find that I can do repetitive tasks once I've learned how to do them. It just doesn't come naturally to me to do them, and I often need to be shown things, whereas other people might pick them up.
If you're feeling depressed and anxious it might be a good idea to go and see your GP, or find some counselling. I think the Dyspraxia Foundation are good because they really understand about dyspraxia, and they might well have some advice.
I wish you luck, and try not to be too down-hearted about things, although it is difficult. A lot of people have these difficulties and don't tell anyone - it may be that some of your friends or people you know struggle with different things. I'm sure you will be a good friend to other people because you'll understand if they're struggling.
I hope this is helpful.
Nicky
Welcome to the forum and I'm pleased you've found us. I hope you get as much out of the forums as I do.
It sounds like you're having a tough time and I expect a lot of people on here will relate to what you say. I'm 46 now, and didn't know anything about dyspraxia (let alone that I had it!) until about three years ago. All I knew was that I struggled a lot with things that other people found easy. I struggled to ride a bike, and when I think back I always had trouble with styling my hair and doing things like shaving my legs.
I think beating yourself up about it can make it worse, and that often leads to depression, at least in my experience. It's hard isn't it, because a lot of the time people don't understand and just think you've got to try harder and you're being positive, etc.
I wonder if you've been in touch with the Dyspraxia Foundation - I think they're really helpful and sometimes they have local groups to go to. Also it might be a good idea to look on you tube - it sounds odd, but they often show things like cleaning, or hair styles. I think sometimes we can do things, but they take longer than other people, and you need more guidance. I found with things like driving, that I didn't understand quite basic concepts like turning the wheel back again once I'd turned round a corner (!) and at the time I thought I was stupid. Now that I know about dyspraxia I just say to myself, yes I will find this a bit difficult, but maybe with the right help and patience, and keep practising, I will get there.
I've also realised as I've got older that I've spent too much time worrying about what I can't do, and not played to the strengths I do have. One of the things I get from dyspraxia is that I have a lot of patience with people, and I now work with people with learning disabilities, with reading and writing, and even cooking. I used to think I wasn't any good at cooking, but the more I've done it the better I've got.
I often find that I can do repetitive tasks once I've learned how to do them. It just doesn't come naturally to me to do them, and I often need to be shown things, whereas other people might pick them up.
If you're feeling depressed and anxious it might be a good idea to go and see your GP, or find some counselling. I think the Dyspraxia Foundation are good because they really understand about dyspraxia, and they might well have some advice.
I wish you luck, and try not to be too down-hearted about things, although it is difficult. A lot of people have these difficulties and don't tell anyone - it may be that some of your friends or people you know struggle with different things. I'm sure you will be a good friend to other people because you'll understand if they're struggling.
I hope this is helpful.
Nicky
Re: Dyspraxia and associated conditions
Hi Nicky,
Thank you so much for your reply. It's good to know that I'm not the only person feeling this way. Even though I've met other dyspraxics in my time, I've never met anyone who has the co ordination problems I have. It's very frustrating and makes me feel very alone. Your reply really made me feel better about myself. Thank you for that!
Áine
Thank you so much for your reply. It's good to know that I'm not the only person feeling this way. Even though I've met other dyspraxics in my time, I've never met anyone who has the co ordination problems I have. It's very frustrating and makes me feel very alone. Your reply really made me feel better about myself. Thank you for that!
Áine
Re: Dyspraxia and associated conditions
Hi Ayne
I'm pleased the reply was helpful. I think people with dyspraxia are all different, and struggle with different things. The strange thing is that I have neat handwriting (and love writing) and play the piano, but I struggled driving, riding a bike, etc. I think sometimes I have more problem with things that are not repetitive and where you have to work out what to do, whereas if it's something like driving, where you have to do things moment by moment, it's harder. I did learn to drive in the end though!
But I know other dyspraxic people who have trouble with handwriting but can ride a bike with not too much problem.
Anyway, good luck with everything, and sorry I don't know how to type the accent on your name! I must find out how to do it.
Nicky
I'm pleased the reply was helpful. I think people with dyspraxia are all different, and struggle with different things. The strange thing is that I have neat handwriting (and love writing) and play the piano, but I struggled driving, riding a bike, etc. I think sometimes I have more problem with things that are not repetitive and where you have to work out what to do, whereas if it's something like driving, where you have to do things moment by moment, it's harder. I did learn to drive in the end though!
But I know other dyspraxic people who have trouble with handwriting but can ride a bike with not too much problem.
Anyway, good luck with everything, and sorry I don't know how to type the accent on your name! I must find out how to do it.
Nicky
Re: Dyspraxia and associated conditions
Hi Aine
Welcome to our Forums and don't worry about the 'depressing' post having somewhere where you can say how you feel is an important part of why the forum is here so we can feel less alone in our struggles to fit in.
The Dyspraxia Foundation have a Helpline 01462 454986 (open Monday to Friday between 9am and 5pm)
http://www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk
I'd echo Nicky's suggestion about speaking to your GP about how your difficulties are affecting your life and making you anxious and depressed.
Please don't worry too much about which part of the Forum you post in. In many cases posts could be placed into one or more categories and if moving it makes sense that can easily be done for you by a moderator. Please don't be afraid to ask
Welcome to our Forums and don't worry about the 'depressing' post having somewhere where you can say how you feel is an important part of why the forum is here so we can feel less alone in our struggles to fit in.
The Dyspraxia Foundation have a Helpline 01462 454986 (open Monday to Friday between 9am and 5pm)
http://www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk
I'd echo Nicky's suggestion about speaking to your GP about how your difficulties are affecting your life and making you anxious and depressed.
Please don't worry too much about which part of the Forum you post in. In many cases posts could be placed into one or more categories and if moving it makes sense that can easily be done for you by a moderator. Please don't be afraid to ask
Tom
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
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screengreen
- Power poster
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- Joined: Fri Aug 16, 2013 8:39 pm
Re: Dyspraxia and associated conditions
Hi Aine,
I still struggled with blow drying my hair, I found 1 of those hair dryers which is brush and hair dryer at same time helpful, I keep my hair in a short bob well cut so I only have to brush and not style, as to make I usually go au naturelle ..... easier by far than the daily struggle with makeup. I personally think that dyspraxia is related to how well we can use and integrate our body position sense, touch and sense of balance.....this makes it easier for me to be kind to myself after all you would not say a hearing impaired person was stupid because they could not hear or a visually impaired person because they did not see well! You may like to look at the sensory integration network websitehttp://www.sensoryintegration.org.uk
I still struggled with blow drying my hair, I found 1 of those hair dryers which is brush and hair dryer at same time helpful, I keep my hair in a short bob well cut so I only have to brush and not style, as to make I usually go au naturelle ..... easier by far than the daily struggle with makeup. I personally think that dyspraxia is related to how well we can use and integrate our body position sense, touch and sense of balance.....this makes it easier for me to be kind to myself after all you would not say a hearing impaired person was stupid because they could not hear or a visually impaired person because they did not see well! You may like to look at the sensory integration network websitehttp://www.sensoryintegration.org.uk
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ivlostmypurse
- New member - welcome them!
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- Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2015 9:34 pm
Re: Dyspraxia and associated conditions
Top tips... make up wise.
Get a big bronzer brush.
Use this to apply a good Base of foundation, I use a bare minerals powder. Being colour matched up means it doesn't matter if you miss any where it doesn't shiw. Which I do all the time!! lol: And another bonus the pots plastic and it's not totally exposed so if you drop it won't smash and you won't loose it all.
I apply bronzer then... just go super light in your application. It only looks bad if you put loads on so just blow your brush.
You can also get blushers with highlighters in so two stripes and your done.... again don't buy any to dark so it doesn't matter where it ends up lol. I put this on my eyes it's applied with a blusher brush I reckon I can't miss my eyes bit then I do but it's only gentle in colour.
What is your hair like... you can put products in to achieve a look.
Making sure you get trimmed often helps so you get less tangled. Iv had a brush cut out before now.
So mines curly if I want a smooth curl.i add oil. For a scruffy bouncy look I use a salt spray. Which mostly ends up in my eyes or on the walks. .. so do your make up last.
Brushing hair is hard work..... I find all of the above easier with no mirror.
Throw bobbles in the bin, big clips are better.... be free.
Throw mascara eye pencils you don't need them.
Eyelashes I get tinted, I can't cope with another mascara injury. If I have a special do I might get individual lashes done in a salon. As too my eyebrows shaped and tinted.
I'm not blessed with a slim face.... if you do get a short funky cut. Requires no work just let your pillow style it spike.
Iv had earing tattooed on because I can't get an earing in... I totally understand you.
Let me know what your hair is like. Good luck.
Get a big bronzer brush.
Use this to apply a good Base of foundation, I use a bare minerals powder. Being colour matched up means it doesn't matter if you miss any where it doesn't shiw. Which I do all the time!! lol: And another bonus the pots plastic and it's not totally exposed so if you drop it won't smash and you won't loose it all.
I apply bronzer then... just go super light in your application. It only looks bad if you put loads on so just blow your brush.
You can also get blushers with highlighters in so two stripes and your done.... again don't buy any to dark so it doesn't matter where it ends up lol. I put this on my eyes it's applied with a blusher brush I reckon I can't miss my eyes bit then I do but it's only gentle in colour.
What is your hair like... you can put products in to achieve a look.
Making sure you get trimmed often helps so you get less tangled. Iv had a brush cut out before now.
So mines curly if I want a smooth curl.i add oil. For a scruffy bouncy look I use a salt spray. Which mostly ends up in my eyes or on the walks. .. so do your make up last.
Brushing hair is hard work..... I find all of the above easier with no mirror.
Throw bobbles in the bin, big clips are better.... be free.
Throw mascara eye pencils you don't need them.
Eyelashes I get tinted, I can't cope with another mascara injury. If I have a special do I might get individual lashes done in a salon. As too my eyebrows shaped and tinted.
I'm not blessed with a slim face.... if you do get a short funky cut. Requires no work just let your pillow style it spike.
Iv had earing tattooed on because I can't get an earing in... I totally understand you.
Let me know what your hair is like. Good luck.
Re: Dyspraxia and associated conditions
Hery there,
This forum defently helps out if your feeling low on self a steam or etc. Specially if your so isolated in an area that your specialist can't under stand where your coming from cuz they never heard about dyspraxia and there to busy to even look it up.
I can relate on so many things with this topic and posts. And anxiety depression bites a big one.
And hopefully in the near future they brake a discovery on how to overcome dcd or dyspraxia or others.
This forum defently helps out if your feeling low on self a steam or etc. Specially if your so isolated in an area that your specialist can't under stand where your coming from cuz they never heard about dyspraxia and there to busy to even look it up.
I can relate on so many things with this topic and posts. And anxiety depression bites a big one.
And hopefully in the near future they brake a discovery on how to overcome dcd or dyspraxia or others.