What are the 3 things you struggle with most...

A place to talk about your experience of living with Dyspraxia

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What are the 3 things you struggle with most...

Post by Roxy86 »

... At work, at home and in relationships?

At work it is my maths that lets me down, not basic mental arithmetic such as addition/subtraction but when it requires an extra step, as outlined in my report, I find it hard to comprehend. Example, if somebody wants to pay for their shopping, using a scratch card or lottery ticket (which often happens) they hand me the winning ticket as a form of payment and until that ticket is checked/paid out via the terminal, it has no cash value to me. I find it mind boggling to try and deduct the winnings from their shopping, without physically putting the money in the till. So, I ask them if I can do it separately and pay them their winnings first, then ask for it back to pay for their shopping. It's such a simple thing that many of my colleagues have tried explaining to me over the years, but this is just one of the things at work that plagues me the most... Customers look at me as if I'm mad!! Lol! :lol:

At home, it's my mum, and the feeling that she just does not understand me at all ](*,) She reckons everything is an excuse and almost refuses to believe. Wether she is still in denial or not I don't know (was only diagnosed in December last year) She acts surprised/irritated if/when I can't do something asks why I get so upset about it. She misinterprets my emotions such as frustration or insecurity as anger or aggression and often thinks it is directed at her when this is quite simply not the case :S

In relationships, it is my inferiority complex... No matter how hard I try I feel I don't have enough to offer long term, despite my partner telling me otherwise. I feel like I have to bend over backwards to keep them happy and always do what they want, so as not to rock the boat. Although my partner is far more understanding of my diagnosis than my mum, I often end up doubting myself and our future together. I always say relationships should be 50/50, give and take, all about commitment, communication and compromise (we do well on the compromise part :) ) Just maybe the communication we both need to work on, we are both currently having counselling though to try and better understand ourselves, thus gain a better understanding of each other
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Re: What are the 3 things you struggle with most...

Post by Tom fod »

Hi Roxy

I think the payment by winning scratch card would cause me confusion too. Is it not the case that until it's been validated by the Camelot Terminal it's not necessarily confirmed as a winning ticket/scratch card? I'd have thought it was within your rights and eminently sensible to establish this bit first.

Then, rather than give them the full amount, for them to hand it you back to you, can you not take the appropriate amount out for their winnings. then process it as if that is the cash they've just given you to pay for their shopping?

Of course if they then also want another scratch card/lottery ticket it's back to the lottery terminal again! and of course this always happens when there's a queue of people impatiently waiting to be served. (aaarghh)

Re the situation with your mum, sometimes we can be most impatient when we see our own faults in others. She may have had similar difficulties herself once and may have forgotten this. No one can be perfect.

Hope my reply is of some comfort/help.

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Re: What are the 3 things you struggle with most...

Post by LankyLady93 »

It's a challenge to just pick three... lol

Writing with a pencil or pen has been a struggle all my life. If I write for an extended period of time, my hand and wrist begin to hurt and the pain becomes more excruciating the longer I keep on with it. I started homeschooling in grade 7 (year 8) onwards because of this.

I'm extremely fatigued just about all day, every day, no matter the amount of sleep I've had.

Poor concentration has made studying and conversing with others difficult. Rarely can I make eye contact with someone while speaking; I end up looking off into space, trying to regain my thoughts and words. It's as if all of my thoughts crumble and scatter in front of me.

Thank you for sharing, Roxy.
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Re: What are the 3 things you struggle with most...

Post by sanahasacat »

Hmm... I'd say memory, organization, and fatigue, which seems strange given that dyspraxia is technically a motor disorder at least in classification, but, I suppose it is what it is.

I haven't technically started work just yet, but at college, the biggest deal was and is definitley organization and memory both, because they sort of overlap wth me. I just... can't keep track of all the things I'm meant to be doing and so miss deadlines and things.

At home, more or less the same. I can't remember what I have to do and so end up with no food because it slipped my mind to go shopping or something like that.

As far as relationships go, its sort of the same thing, but for different reasons. I do good with casual aquaintances, but things usually start going wrong once they start to actually expect things of me; I have a bit of a reputation for being flaky and showing up late for things or not keeping up my side of promises.

When it comes to people's first impressions of me, concentration is a problem, though for a different reason that the user above me. I make good eye contact, and I never have to stop to collect my thoughts, things just... wash over me. I usually end up as the person everyone likes but noone really respects because they misinterpreted my spacieness as unintelligence. Fairly cute and nice enough, but not to be taken seriously.
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Re: What are the 3 things you struggle with most...

Post by richb2014 »

I always thought that dyspraxia didn't affect me much but reading what you've all posted I can relate to nearly all of those!

I once got let go from a job in a newsagents for my till always being down, working out change was an absolute nightmare,especially when things like scratchcards/lottery winnings were involved! I have a lot of maths to work out in my current job but as I'm managing my store I can delegate a lot of that to people I know can work out their maths better than i can, but whenever I have to do any maths myself my calculator on my phone becomes my best friend!!

Tiredness, organisation and concentration have never been things i've linked with dyspraxia but then admittedly i've never really reaserched it since being diagnosed - and I was seven when i was diagnosed so as far as I knew at the time all it meant was that I struggled to write and fell over a bit haha. But I can relate to all of those.

i think the three things that affect me mostly are:

1) handwriting - I always try my best to avoid writing anything but in my job it's just not possible to avoid it all the time. Whenever i'd fill out contracts for customers to sign i'd always make a joke out of my poor writing. Sometimes i think it's lazyness but it's just simply that I find it impossible to write properly - my 6 year old son's writing is better than mine!

2) Memory - My memory is terrible. My mum used to joke that she give me a list of x amount of things to do i'd always forget 1 of them. So if she told me 3 things i'd do 2, 4 things i'd do 3. all of my ex partners that i've lived with have complained about it. Also if I go downstairs - or to the shop - to get something and i've been asked to get something for someone else i'll always remember what they've asked for but not what i've gone for myself because i've been so focused on remembering what they wanted. If I get given instructions on how to do something I have to keep repeating it to myself in my head otherwise I forget one of the steps, it's so annoying at work because in the role I have I will always be asked for help by staff and after i've helped them I need to get the instructions again as there's no way i'll remember it - if possible I ALWAYS print out or write them down (thank god I can (usually) read my own writing) otherwise i'll be forever asking the instructions.

3) Spilling/dropping things - I always spill drinks. On nights out there'll always be a point where i'll spill a drink all over myself. The worst way this affects me though is at work - over the last two months i've spent way too much money on new shirts as we wear white at work and I always end up spilling my drink over myself. I wouldn't care myself but I can't look more scruffy than my staff!!

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Re: What are the 3 things you struggle with most...

Post by heathy555 »

the three things I find hard are:

1) co-ordination my balance isn't very good I seem to keep swaying backwards and forwards and I tend to walk into things with out knowing. I cant ride a bike

2) communication - I find it hard when I'm trying to say something but I cant get out what I am trying to say and it gets very frustrating.

3) spelling - i have always found spelling hard and prounication of places so i just guess
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