Need some support with emotions and obsessions

[lwest200]

Hi All,

I've just joined the forum and would really like some help if you can.

I was diagnosed with Dyspraxia when I was very young, (24 now), but got through school, got a degree and am now working full time in London. But I've recently noticed some things, which are starting to bother me and want to see if it's part of my Dyspraxia.

Emotions

When I listen to other people arguing in same room or rooms next to me, I get so upset just because I can hear it and have never understood why. I also get very upset if someone tells me to do something differently, even if they're asking in a nice way, I take it very personally and won't let it go for hours.

Obessions

When I get an idea into my head, my mind will start going 100 miles an hour and I'll think it will be the best thing in the world e.g. a new business idea. I'll set up a website, buy business cards and all of a sudden after a few days the obsessions stopped?....This has happened so many times now and It's cost quite a bit of money at times.

If anyone knows whether these are part of the condition I'd be able to relax and get them under control

Thanks for your help

Luke

[minniemoo]

Hi Luke

They seem perfectly normal for a dyspraxic. There are many things that set us apart in uniqueness and the ones you have mentioned some of us have, some of us don't and to a greater or lesser degree. That is what is so amazing about us - we all have different quirks that we experience to a more/less extreme, but we are all coming from the same direction. One thing we seem to all share and the more time I am on this forum, the more this is confirmed - is that we all share a great sense of empathy. It is a blessing that comes with dyspraxia.

People are sensitive to different things - some people don't like to hear arguments (whether they are dyspraxic or not) - most of us as kids scream when we hear people arguing. I would say this is part of your empathy.
The next thing you mention about people asking you to do thing differently is a classically dyspraxic thing. The best way I heard it described is like this: Say you need to do something called x - your brain works out how to do x and goes through the processes 0,1,2,3,4,5,x. Non-dyspraxics wouldn't have this long mental process they would simply go 0,x. So because we need to travel through all the stops from 0 to x we get upset if we are asked to change or stop half way because we are still mentally processing it. Does that make any sense?

As for the obsession - yes, I can see that that would also be part of it. There is a conversation somewhere on here about whether we commit to things too fast or too extremely. Some of us look before we leap - committing to an idea before thinking it through or even thinking! I sometimes think it is like being drunk and sometimes even feels a bit like that - you do something that in the future you regret but at that moment in the past felt and seemed like the best idea ever!

Lastly, welcome to the forum Luke!

[lwest200]

Thank you so much for this, it's like a little light bulb just got turned on.

The thought process example you gave is so true for me. I went on holiday last week with my friends for the first time and at like all hotels we had a card to swipe when opening our room door. However, I had so much trouble remembering which way round to use it and literally had to go through three/four different steps to look at it and get it right. Where's the black strip, where's the arrow, where's the picture that needs to be in a certain place etc. It drove me crazy.

Thanks again for your help

Luke

[minniemoo]

It was the same for me when I started to learn more about dyspraxia and realize that that was what was behind so many things for me! It is just like a light bulb coming on! it's a great way to describe it.

I completely understand about the hotel card...grrrr...can be so frustrating at times, especially when others seem to have no problems doing these things!

This is a great place to discuss anything to do with dyspraxia - the forum is full of lovely people who really do understand and help a lot. Don't be frightened of being laughed at or judged it isn't going to happen. You are among understanding friends

[lwest200]

Thanks for your kind words. I've read a lot of posts about how it affects handwriting and as mine is terrible (like a child), i was wondering if it can be improved with practise or just one of those things we can't control?

[minniemoo]

Mine is awful too!!! But I can write 'properly' if I think carefully about every word - I need to write by hand as part of my job and so I have had to practise a lot. I think this like other things with dyspraxia are better some days and worse others. Some things we can develop coping methods for and others we can't. Some people can overcome some aspects and not others. Sorry a bit of a woolly answer.
In the case of writing we are similar to dyslexics (which is why we often get mistaken for them!). Using some of their coping techniques can help us - using different coloured paper - different things to write with (I cannot write legibly with a biro - it is utterly impossible - but I can with a pencil if I concentrate) - practising letters on kids lined paper and also on a big board. It is actually a hell of a lot easier to write on a white board/blackboard than on a piece of paper if you ask me - and some how miraculously I can even write in a straight line!!!!

PS One of the things I've never conquered and that drives me insane is the inability to cut in a straight line - it is a complete and utter impossibility!!!! If you have a magic way of learning how to do this please, please, please tell me!!!!

[Captain_Ludd]

Hi Luke,

I can completely empathise with the obsessiveness I'm the same once something gets in your head its like a switch and you cant stop yourself thinking about it some times it even happens with songs (or is that just me?), I think that's just part of dyspraxia.
I would suggest maybe doing a cool off period when you have the ideas try and not act on them for a week (I know its kind of hard) and id it still seem like good idea go with it.
As for the getting to emotional thing like minnimoo said that's just cos were naturally more empathetic than most please dont see it as a fault its not its a strength, its the rest of the world that could learn from you on that one.

The best way I heard it described is like this: Say you need to do something called x - your brain works out how to do x and goes through the processes 0,1,2,3,4,5,x. Non-dyspraxics wouldn't have this long mental process they would simply go 0,x. So because we need to travel through all the stops from 0 to x we get upset if we are asked to change or stop half way because we are still mentally processing it. Does that make any sense?

This is a brilliant analogy for the way dyspraxics have to work so good I'm gonna save it and use it in future

I've had this discussion several times people have always said I'm a perfectionist and to obsessed with details and doing things my way which makes me too slow and methodical.
They I've missed the point completely, as you've said like all dyspraxics there's a lot in my head but in its natural state its all over the place so I have to go through things in small precise steps in an exact order if I don't ill completely loose track if that comes over stubborn perfectionism its simply a side effect.
I had this discussion with my dad and my project tutor at uni, I'm working my backside off and still falling behind and they keep saying your not writing your PHD dissertation cant you cut some corners to get it done and the answer is NO because if I don't do it this way what I do will be c**p b there are simply certain ways I have to do things to cope, simple as that,but they don't get it.

[Jim]

PS One of the things I've never conquered and that drives me insane is the inability to cut in a straight line - it is a complete and utter impossibility!!!! If you have a magic way of learning how to do this please, please, please tell me!!!!

I don't think many people can truly cut in a straight line. A little trick I use to make it easier (if it's absolutely vital to do it neatly that is) is to place a ruler where I need to make the cut and then use the scissor blade to score along the cutting line. This both produces a visible line to follow and a grove in the paper that helps to guide the scissors when cutting.

I like a good analogy. Not only is it pretty much the only way to even begin describing what coping with Dyspraxia is like but if used well you can inject some humour to it to show that whilst you may well be quirky you can also be smart with it.

Did anyone see Britain's got talent? (It's not something I'd usually watch, but it happened to be on the the family tv whilst I was about) anyway one of the auditions was this kid with cerebral palsy, and his act was stand up. Slightly ironic since he can barley stand up but he used that to perfection. With great intelligence and humility he made light of his condition to make it funny in a non offensive way. He was so good he got a standing ovation. He is a good example that someone's neural restrictions need not totally define their ultimate capacity. The most famous comparison to that would be Dr Stephen Hawkins.

Coming back to analogies and this isn't really Dyspraxic, but I've just been on a walk in the country side, with some beautiful scenery to enjoy, when I was standing at the top of a hill with a particularly wide view it occurred to me how such a sight made me feel totally insignificant and yet still allowed me to feel utterly majestic all the same.

[lwest200]

Thanks guys, loving the support I'm getting here. Helps so much . Wish i'd found this website sooner lol I love the way people here are looking at the funny side of this condition, which i've started doing now. When i realise somethings not going my way because of it, I just start seeing the funny side of it and the stress goes . I'm also managing the obsessions as well, i given an idea 24 hours to cool off before I act and it's gone by the next day and i realise, it wasn't that great anywhere

[nickye]

Hi Luke
Great to hear the forum's helping you, I think it's great! It's funny you mentioned the hotel card. I think I should get out more because I was used to keys, and I didn't realise that this card also had to be swiped to put the lights on and I went downstairs and told the receptionist my lights weren't working!
I always have trouble with cards, and last time I went up to London and I couldn't understand why my ticket wouldn't go into the machine, and I suddenly realised after a few attempts that it said "no entry" with a big red cross lit up on it. But I hadn't noticed it! Probably in my own little world!
It depends what mood I'm in whether this sort of thing makes me want to laugh or cry. But since discovering this forum, it more often makes me laugh!
I also relate to getting obsessed with things, and I can't bear all the 24 hour news and media - everything seems to go round and round in my head for ages afterwards. I also have a bit of an obsession with making lists of things in my head, like people's birthdays, or countries of the world in alphabetical order. Sounds a bit made but sometimes it takes my mind off things, and at other times it drives me mad! (I'm not mad really). It's a bit of a relief to be able to come on here and talk about these things, because I always thought I was the only one who did these things! The weird thing is I have a good long-term memory for things like dates and names, but where did I put my key five minutes ago or which way up does my card go into the machine is a different story!

[lwest200]

Oops, only seen your reply nickye, sorry. I'm glad we can all relate to everyones little problems :p. I am always making the same lists over and over, mainly how many direct debits and my money outgoings each month lol. I seem to find it quite relaxing making lists

[minniemoo]

Hi Luke

Glad to hear that you are finding some support and help here. It has been a godsend to me! I am so grateful to everyone on here and the support that they give.

And incidently - I am also very impressed with Jim's idea for cutting and will try it myself!

[lauraECFan]

I find that once I have learned how to do something I have no problem doing it but if it changes then my heads all over the place as I get confused between how it used to be done and how it is done after the change. I also find that if someone suggests that I do something differently I get very irritated as I like to do stuff my way so I don't get confused (my brother always did this so there is always an atmosphere when im in a room with him then again he creates an atmosphere with everyone). When I get confused I then tend to snap at people (did this the other week to one of my tutors but I apologised later). As for obsessions I once had one where I would pick the leafy cover off hazelnuts after picking them which resulted in very sore nails and I also get obsessions that are like phases. For example I am currently playing pokemon mystery dungeons explorers of sky constantly (Love the pokemon games but don't watch series but will watch movies if they are on) and will probably do that for maybe 2 weeks until I go onto another game or a book. I also tend to get obsessed with watching certain films (corpse bride was for around 6 months). Only thing is my mum tends to get annoyed with this and she always has a go if I am in one of those obsessions but its the way my mind works.

[tara]

Tell you what!!! that bane of my life is.... doors!!! pull or push???????????? Why do they have to make it so confusing!!!!

[FAndrews]

Its nice to hear my obsessiveness is part of the Dyspraxia and not something else. also is it common for our emotions to go up and down like a yo-yo? like periods of unhappiness to suddenly turn to happiness at the smallest thing? or is that just me? and yes i can be a tad emotionally sensitive the empathy is one of the few benefits and it is a great help to me in my work as a care worker


Iwest200: lists are very reassuring for me too helps with various tasks if i make a list of them.