I've just found your excellent website, and it's been amazing reading the posts. I say amazing because for years I feel life's been a struggle. Not all the time, but certain things I find really difficult, and I relate to what a lot of people say.
I've had depression and panic attacks on and off for several years, although hopefully this is improving now. I always struggled as a child with tasks like tying shoelaces, sewing, doing up zips and buttons, and general organisation (always losing things and not able to organise myself). I still find some of these things difficult, and putting together equipment, even using things like tin openers etc. I was always very bad at sport and couldn't throw and catch a ball to save my life!
However, I always had neat handwriting, and loved English, and could also type fast and play the piano, which doesn't seem to fit. But driving! I did eventually pass my test after three years of lessons, but it took me ages to realise how to steer the car and to bring everything together. I still don't feel massively confident even after over 20 years of driving! I often get lost even on short journies, and I can't remember and follow simple instructions. But I do remember things like all the reigns of the kings of England and the dates of birth of my ancestors! Really useful stuff! But where did I put my keys?
It's easy to laugh this off when in a good mood, but I do find myself struggling with everyday things. Sometimes just going shopping is hard, I can't entirely explain why. I often bump into things, and can't judge distances. Also I feel overwhelmed by stimulation, and sometimes all the ranges of items in the shops make me feel in a panic. Sometimes I wish someone would just tell me what to do and I'd do it. I'm very hard working if someone gives me a task and explains it carefully, but when I have to organise things myself I often sit and stare at the wall for ages unsure where to start. People think I'm being lazy but I just feel confused and panicked.
I had a job working in a pre-school, I loved the children and did well with some aspects of the job. But putting out all the tables and equipment, and managing tasks like chopping up the vegetables in the kitchen on time and having everything ready was a nightmare for me! In the end I felt like i was being picked on and I left. I think a lot of my depression stems from feeling "different" and being unsure what to do. I find jobs like cleaning or working in a shop would be really difficult for me. Once when I had to take people's coats at an event and give them a raffle ticket, I found this really difficult.
I often feel I don't know quite where I am in space if that makes sense. I'm very in touch with my mind and words, but I can't seem to always feel a connection with my body and its movements. I'm not sure that makes sense, but I often find that I have to think in words and even talk myself through things. LIke if I'm tidying the kitchen and it's all messy I'll feel overwhelmed and I'll say "right, this cup goes in that cupboard" and "this toy belongs upstairs". I am a housewife now and I found it hard enough looking after myself when I was single - I struggle to look after home, husband and one child! My husband is good at multi-tasking and can get loads more done than I can. He can't understand why I walk past someting and don't seem to "see" it even when it's by the front door waiting to go outside. I know this is usually a complaint make by wives about husbands! It actually makes me feel useless in a way - because I struggle in a job and I struggle being a mum/housewife!
Sorry this is very long and rambling. Basically I went to see my doctor today, she's lovely, very sympathetic but didn't really know if there was much she could do but suggested I ring the local Talking Therapies and come back if no joy. She'd never seen an adult come with possible dyspraxia (I knew I was odd!) but didn't say this unkindly, she just said she'd come across children but they'd been referred and had mainly been helped through the school system.
I don't want to make a fuss, because maybe ths is just the way I am (and we're all different, which is the beauty of life). But I do find everyday things a struggle and really feel I relate to a lot of the things people say, even though not every single thing fits me.
Many thanks for reading (if you've managed to get to the end!) I wish everybody on the forums well. Nicky
Not sure if I am dyspraxic
Moderator: Moderator Team
Re: Not sure if I am dyspraxic
Hi Nicky
Well, you certainly sound dyspraxic to me, if that's any help! I've never been officially diagnosed and seems way too late to bother now (I'm 58) but I can relate to a lot of what you say. Shoelaces (still can't tie them properly ), sewing, sport etc I absolutely hate logical tasks and anything that involves hand/eye co-ordination etc. My handwriting is NOT neat tho, which is why I prefer to write in capitals (some pens are easier too hold than others tho) or to type - I, too, am a very fast, accurate typist and worked as a typist for some years, a job I loved. My English is very good too (but don't even go there with Maths...) I wouldn't even attempt driving so you're doing a lot better than I am.
I've found out lots of things about dyspraxia from this site and from the internet generally. One thing I have learnt is, it's not a one-size-fits-all disorder, and this fact often makes it extremely difficult to diagnose. Back in my childhood, all I knew was I felt "different" because I couldn't do some of the things the other kids did and this led to anxiety and low self-esteem. Nowadays, I would probably be recognised as dyspraxic (well, depending on how enlightened the school was) and given help/support.
Dyspraxia has some advantages (often dyspraxic people are highly creative and empathic) but I personally find it a very frustrating condition too; even close friends and family seem to think it's an invention. (A friend once said to me, "But you can't be dyspraxic because you're normal"!!!!! Where do you even begin to explain???)
All I can suggest is coping mechanisms, which you've no doubt learnt by now. It's fantastic that you have a husband who can multi-task; I think more men should because I certainly can't! And check into this forum, it's lovely to chat to other people who understand.
Maria
Well, you certainly sound dyspraxic to me, if that's any help! I've never been officially diagnosed and seems way too late to bother now (I'm 58) but I can relate to a lot of what you say. Shoelaces (still can't tie them properly ), sewing, sport etc I absolutely hate logical tasks and anything that involves hand/eye co-ordination etc. My handwriting is NOT neat tho, which is why I prefer to write in capitals (some pens are easier too hold than others tho) or to type - I, too, am a very fast, accurate typist and worked as a typist for some years, a job I loved. My English is very good too (but don't even go there with Maths...) I wouldn't even attempt driving so you're doing a lot better than I am.
I've found out lots of things about dyspraxia from this site and from the internet generally. One thing I have learnt is, it's not a one-size-fits-all disorder, and this fact often makes it extremely difficult to diagnose. Back in my childhood, all I knew was I felt "different" because I couldn't do some of the things the other kids did and this led to anxiety and low self-esteem. Nowadays, I would probably be recognised as dyspraxic (well, depending on how enlightened the school was) and given help/support.
Dyspraxia has some advantages (often dyspraxic people are highly creative and empathic) but I personally find it a very frustrating condition too; even close friends and family seem to think it's an invention. (A friend once said to me, "But you can't be dyspraxic because you're normal"!!!!! Where do you even begin to explain???)
All I can suggest is coping mechanisms, which you've no doubt learnt by now. It's fantastic that you have a husband who can multi-task; I think more men should because I certainly can't! And check into this forum, it's lovely to chat to other people who understand.
Maria
Re: Not sure if I am dyspraxic
Hi Maria
Thanks so much for such a quick reply, and lovely to talkt to someone who understands. I think other people don't really understand why we struggle. I broke a cup only this morning and my husband said (not nastily) "you've just got to be more careful". The thing is, I'm very careful, but still manage to do things like this quite a lot. He's a very logical practical person which I really appreciate as he helps me with things, but on the other hand he does sometimes seems to think it's just mind over matter - if I tried a bit harder, these things would come easier.
It's funny you said about the typing, because I typed really fast at college, and loved doing secretarial jobs where I had a lot of typing. Other people might find copy-typing boring, but I don't. But I did struggle with admin/organisation some of the time. I do sometimes end up being almost over-organised - I'm so worried I'll be late or get things wrong that I sometimes turn up miles too early (when I became godmother to my friend's little boy, I arrived before the vicar even got there!)
Sometimes when I had mastered a skill like tying a bow, I used to do it obsessively, for ages on end. I remember as a child having a doll with a bow on her dress and I'd sometimes sit there for half an hour and just keep tying and re-tying it. I sometimes also type lists of things for no real reason, I just enjoy doing something repetitive! Sorry if that sounds a a bit odd! A lot of the time people would have no idea I struggled like this, because I can put on a good front, and on a good day I can manage things reasonably OK. But I find even writing a shopping list and going shopping hard - hard to organise and remember, although I have no trouble actually writing. It is hard to explain isn't it?
Anyway, I hope everything's going OK for you and thanks for replying so quickly. I'm glad you said that there are good sides to being dyspraxic. I think it gives me a lot of patience with people. When I helped on a school trip a while back, I spent quite a bit of time with one of the boys with special needs, and he came up and held my hand quite spontaneously. I was amazed at the fantastic ideas he came up with about the objects in the museum we were looking at, he has a great imagination. I feel I can often relate to the children who are a bit "different" and who other people seem to think are being badly behaved.
Anyway, sorry I've managed to ramble on for ages again!
Nicky
Thanks so much for such a quick reply, and lovely to talkt to someone who understands. I think other people don't really understand why we struggle. I broke a cup only this morning and my husband said (not nastily) "you've just got to be more careful". The thing is, I'm very careful, but still manage to do things like this quite a lot. He's a very logical practical person which I really appreciate as he helps me with things, but on the other hand he does sometimes seems to think it's just mind over matter - if I tried a bit harder, these things would come easier.
It's funny you said about the typing, because I typed really fast at college, and loved doing secretarial jobs where I had a lot of typing. Other people might find copy-typing boring, but I don't. But I did struggle with admin/organisation some of the time. I do sometimes end up being almost over-organised - I'm so worried I'll be late or get things wrong that I sometimes turn up miles too early (when I became godmother to my friend's little boy, I arrived before the vicar even got there!)
Sometimes when I had mastered a skill like tying a bow, I used to do it obsessively, for ages on end. I remember as a child having a doll with a bow on her dress and I'd sometimes sit there for half an hour and just keep tying and re-tying it. I sometimes also type lists of things for no real reason, I just enjoy doing something repetitive! Sorry if that sounds a a bit odd! A lot of the time people would have no idea I struggled like this, because I can put on a good front, and on a good day I can manage things reasonably OK. But I find even writing a shopping list and going shopping hard - hard to organise and remember, although I have no trouble actually writing. It is hard to explain isn't it?
Anyway, I hope everything's going OK for you and thanks for replying so quickly. I'm glad you said that there are good sides to being dyspraxic. I think it gives me a lot of patience with people. When I helped on a school trip a while back, I spent quite a bit of time with one of the boys with special needs, and he came up and held my hand quite spontaneously. I was amazed at the fantastic ideas he came up with about the objects in the museum we were looking at, he has a great imagination. I feel I can often relate to the children who are a bit "different" and who other people seem to think are being badly behaved.
Anyway, sorry I've managed to ramble on for ages again!
Nicky
Re: Not sure if I am dyspraxic
PS: I read somewhere recently that Einstein could never tie his shoelaces!!
Re: Not sure if I am dyspraxic
Indeed, Einstein and da Vinci I believe are considerd to be dyslexic and maybe dyspraxic which might explain their ability to think outside of the box.
“When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie
That's amore”
That's amore”
Re: Not sure if I am dyspraxic
Haha, you just reminded me of something. One of my sisters is dyspraxic too (as were my Mum and late brother, but I come from a family of eleven so most unaffected). One day, only about 8/10 years ago, I called to Lorraine's (my sister who's dyspraxic) and she told me she'd finally figured out tying shoelaces. So we were both sitting there, practising tying shoelaces when her husband came home, shook his head in baffled amusement, said "I'm not even going to ask" (he's used to Lorraine and me! ) and went to make us all a cuppa. It was quite funny tho I don't think non-dyspraxic people ever quite understand *shrug* I am going on holiday in a couple of days and I'm not in the least bit bothered about flying but I am very bothered about having to put my shoes through the x-ray scanner. They're lace-up (!!!!) trainers and would be heavy in the case and I'm worried about fastening them after I get them back!!!! I know my partner would tie them for me but I don't want people thinking I'm thick. I always worry about whether I'll fasten and unfasten the seat-belt properly too. And to think, other people only have to worry about the plane crashing! (Yeh, I know, that's not funny, but dyspraxia is a funny condition. )nickye wrote:Hi Maria
Thanks so much for such a quick reply, and lovely to talkt to someone who understands. I think other people don't really understand why we struggle. I broke a cup only this morning and my husband said (not nastily) "you've just got to be more careful". The thing is, I'm very careful, but still manage to do things like this quite a lot. He's a very logical practical person which I really appreciate as he helps me with things, but on the other hand he does sometimes seems to think it's just mind over matter - if I tried a bit harder, these things would come easier.
It's funny you said about the typing, because I typed really fast at college, and loved doing secretarial jobs where I had a lot of typing. Other people might find copy-typing boring, but I don't. But I did struggle with admin/organisation some of the time. I do sometimes end up being almost over-organised - I'm so worried I'll be late or get things wrong that I sometimes turn up miles too early (when I became godmother to my friend's little boy, I arrived before the vicar even got there!)
Sometimes when I had mastered a skill like tying a bow, I used to do it obsessively, for ages on end. I remember as a child having a doll with a bow on her dress and I'd sometimes sit there for half an hour and just keep tying and re-tying it. I sometimes also type lists of things for no real reason, I just enjoy doing something repetitive! Sorry if that sounds a a bit odd! A lot of the time people would have no idea I struggled like this, because I can put on a good front, and on a good day I can manage things reasonably OK. But I find even writing a shopping list and going shopping hard - hard to organise and remember, although I have no trouble actually writing. It is hard to explain isn't it?
Anyway, I hope everything's going OK for you and thanks for replying so quickly. I'm glad you said that there are good sides to being dyspraxic. I think it gives me a lot of patience with people. When I helped on a school trip a while back, I spent quite a bit of time with one of the boys with special needs, and he came up and held my hand quite spontaneously. I was amazed at the fantastic ideas he came up with about the objects in the museum we were looking at, he has a great imagination. I feel I can often relate to the children who are a bit "different" and who other people seem to think are being badly behaved.
Anyway, sorry I've managed to ramble on for ages again!
Nicky
Maria
ps I can relate to the kids who are "different" too, I feel, like dyspraxic people, they just need someone to understand.
Re: Not sure if I am dyspraxic
That's great to hear back from you again. Yes I can relate to that sort of things. Luckily I can tie shoelaces now (although they don't always stya done up!) but I do struggle with things like seatbelts, and last year on holiday I took the brave (or foolish!) step of going to a roller disco at Haven Holidays with my daughter! I managed to get round on the skates and balance OK, but putting on the helmet, knee pads, etc was really hard and had to keep asking for help! Luckily the girl was really nice about it. I try to think what't the worst that can happen? I'm going to make a fool of myself. Sitting here at home that doesn't sound so bad, but when you are there it's a horrible feeling isn't it. Yes, I fear those sort of things more than the plane crashing!!
Hope you enjoy your holiday. I think we have to remember that lots of people struggle with things, but when you're in a situation you feel like the only one - or I do. I think "everyone else can do this". But of course they can't really, but it can feel that way.
Anyway good luck with everything.
Nicky
Hope you enjoy your holiday. I think we have to remember that lots of people struggle with things, but when you're in a situation you feel like the only one - or I do. I think "everyone else can do this". But of course they can't really, but it can feel that way.
Anyway good luck with everything.
Nicky