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Cooking, finances, shopping and any regular tasks that are challenging

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Mona79
Getting settled in
Posts: 17
Joined: Mon Nov 06, 2017 7:53 pm

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Post by Mona79 »

Hi,

I was diagnosed as dyspraxic in my late thirties so I'm new to all this. I went to see a professional because my coordination at the gym was getting me down. I couldn't follow the class. The diagnosis explained a lot...

However, does anyone else have the following problems?

I can not do admin! I thought I had ADHD as I can't concentrate on anything boring or repetitive. I don't however.
I feel like anything "adult" is out and it's so embarrassing. Taxes, buying a house, declaring work...
My husband is very patient but however many times he explains it I don't get it. It's not repetition that helps me take it in. Far from it. He ends up doing everything for me...bills, declaring my work...taxes...I just feel a fogginess descend upon me when admin is in the air and it makes me feel so inadequate!

I write things down but even then it's hard...I can't sew as I can't follow instructions unless they are short and sweet and I forget what I learn very fast.

I'm intelligent enough. I have no trouble writing for example. I find it jarring to have to convince myself I am capable when there are blatantly things I just can't do. It's wearing on my confidence and I feel parentified.

Does anyone understand?

Thank you.
Tom fod
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Posts: 2947
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 9:05 pm
Location: SW UK

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Post by Tom fod »

Hi Mona and welcome

Some Dyspraxic folk also have some traits that they share with folk with ADHD.

I think we can also be too good at avoidance strategies for tasks that may trigger memories or past trauma and brain fog can set in. Do you find that if you do something multiple times, that you can load it into long-term memory? Sometimes when I know a task is likely to be a pain I overthink it and endlessly procrastinate while my mind imagines all the many worst case scenarios. If I ring up they will not listen or want to be bothered, I won't be able to correctly convey the info they need and/or I will be fobbed off

Dyspraxia doesn't affect intelligence but the effect it has in respect us not remembering simple steps and/or muddling tasks and the resultant crisis of confidence makes us look anything but, Others' reaction (or our perception of these) compounds our feeling that we're stupid. Even though we aren't.

We're often super hard on ourselves for these things. We see the bigger picture and/or get scared by the amount of minutiae and panic sets in. A lot of people forget the cognitive aspects of Dyspraxia and see it only as lack of coordination of gross and fine motor movement.

Find ways to break tasks down and accept things will take longer, avoid panic. It is not your fault. You are NOT lazy or stupid, for how you feel!
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
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