I cant use any transport.

Learning to drive, driving, and using public transport

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I cant use any transport.

Post by wmasor »

Nobody seems to understand how depressing it is to be stuck in the house and to only be able to go anywhere if you're accompanied by another person. I was hoping some people on here would understand. I can't drive, I'm not confident on a bicycle, I can ride a bicycle but I'm wobbly and I've nearly been hit by a car 3 times because I couldn't keep to the side of the road when they we're passing. I have developed something of a fear of getting the bus on my own because my sense of direction is so poor, I don't understand bus timetables and I can't work out which stop to get on and off at. The few times I've tried it, I ended up getting off at the wrong stop and having to phone someone up in tears, asking where I needed to go to get home. I don't live within walking distance of anything. I rely on my mum to take me anywhere I need to go and it's so depressing to have no independence whatsoever. :( Does anybody else have similar problems?

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Re: I cant use any transport.

Post by Tom fod »

Hi Wmasor

Welcome to the forums. This sounds like a horrible difficulty. Have you spoken to anyone about this? Perhaps your GP?

I must admit that I wouldn't want to do cycling much where I live. Although it's possible to find quiet routes it does sometimes seem certain motorists have little regard for cyclists and you find you;re taking your life in your hands if you go out on the roads with a bike.

I wonder if you might have a deep seated fear somewhere? Has anything really bad happened when you've got lost? Is there someone who can help you with developing your confidence in making journeys independently so that you can 'normalise' the experience rather than worrying about where you are and how you will get to where you need to be.

Perhaps if someone were help you to pre plan your journeys with a sketch map so you can check off the landmarks - maybe have photos of them numbered in the order you should pass them and count backwards to return to the starting point.

Hopefully you can begin to build some confidence in finding your way. When I lived out in the Forest of Dean I used to go out for long walks in the woods and whilst I might have ended up going out of my way and feeling lost at times I always managed to get home eventually even if my shortcuts went a bit wrong.

Hope this reply gives you some ideas to try to help you find a way which allows you to move forwards and gain some confidence. You can do this Good Luck 8-).

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

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Re: I cant use any transport.

Post by Fordinand »

My brother is like this. He can't go anywhere by himself.

See, I like buses. I only sit at the back where I feel secure though, and I dislike it when others decide to join me. I don't sit next to others even if I know them.

Only like taxis when with someone else. But I will risk it when need be.

Can't ride a bike.

I've only been in a train a handful of times. Twice by myself (hate it).

We're very different. I can actually live my life with transport, but you seem like you might have anxiety issues.

Maybe when it comes to going somewhere, you could get the person accompanying you to go first and wait for you a little while away and then increase the distance every so often?

I hope you can grow to lead an easier life.

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Re: I cant use any transport.

Post by screengreen »

Echo the previous comment, you do seem to be quite anxious, if you have a community mental health team that you can be referred to perhaps they have an Occupational therapist or some one supervised by an Occupational therapist who could do some travel training with you...I used to do that sort of thing when I worked in mental health.

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Re: I cant use any transport.

Post by poodlelover81 »

Hi there,
I have the exact thoughts you are having. I took driving lessons for a year or two before giving up. My driving instructor would always yell at me to watch my distance from the curb and other cars. Having to remember to look in through the front and side mirror, remember the difference between the gas pedal and brake, as well as managing to look at the speed and steer was too much for me. :S I had little to no sense of my car's positioning to other cars. I became overwhelmed within twenty minutes, let alone able to concentrate during the 2-hour private driving lessons. I have anxiety and OCD too, and my psychologist in college asked if I had hit-and-run OCD. So I started thinking maybe I did, but something didn't fit. I couldn't quite explain the anxiety I felt driving, because no one would understand.

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Re: I cant use any transport.

Post by Jules »

I am similar and I live in very rural area. I sincerely believe that I could easily become homeless by being lost, so I do understand the anxiety aspect. You will be cheered to hear I'm 50 and I have survived so far.

I can't use a sat-nav and my navigation skills and sense of direction are abysmal. My mobile phone skills are laughable. I can't work out how to use public transport, vending machines, read time tables etc. But here is my secret: I always plan thoroughly and pack like I am off on a major expedition. I wear practical clothes and shoes. I fill my backpack/car with everything I might need if I get badly lost. And I always carry a list of phone numbers, addresses, etc with me. (Interestingly, the result is that many people think I am super confident and organised :)

I would add, I can drive a small automatic car because it is far easier than it looks - so that is worth trying if you can afford it. But the navigation aspect means I am not reliable at getting places on time (or at all:). For longer trips, I must rely totally on other people. It would be easy for me to be too proud to ask for help, so that is something I have to keep a check on myself for. To cope with the loneliness aspect of this problem, I try to make sure I get a lift to a regular club/evening class of some kind, for most weeks of the year.

Also, royal mail and supermarkets that do home delivery are a godsend.

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Re: I cant use any transport.

Post by Philip »

I dont do bikes (as I still cant rid one even in my 30s)

I am more scared sometimes going out as last year I got knocked down by a push bike (our side roads) people park too near the curb road edge

As for buses I prefer to sit near the front, I hate going upstairs on the buses. I am okay catching the bus by myself as I done it since I went to college all them years ago. I done a taxi on my own as I had to ferry my ex-work colleagues display board back to a company (but my colleagues sorted out the taxi) but no return trip was sorted out for me so wallked back to the nearest bus stop which seem like miles and went home.

Never done a train on my own.

As for aeroplanes I hate flighting

I dont have a mobile phone, cannot drive (too many crazy drivers on the road these days) always rushing about from A to B

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Re: I cant use any transport.

Post by DanAu96 »

I find busy transport hard. when people are walking around me from all different directions, it's hard to plan which way to go in this situation. it makes me stressed.

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Re: I cant use any transport.

Post by Clockeightnine »

Buses always stop too far from the curb,the step down is to steep so I have to hope someone is getting on the bus so that they can help me off. As for the driver waiting until you are seated before they pull away,lol that would be helpful. Must admit it worries me,so even though I have my senior bus pass only use the bus if I have to.Then always google my journey to make sure there will be a pelican crossing.Had too many near misses by doing silly things,such as seeing the road will be clear after the red car then stepping out in front of it.luckily just hit by the stream of verbal abuse from the driver.Can't say I blamed him,so now some day's it takes me ages to pluck up the courage to go out.Still deep breaths try to stay calm and carry on.Will just have my silent breakdown whilst staggering along the road.But believe me the next person who says I look like I have had one to many may get a smack in the face.Then again knowing what my aim is like will miss anyway.Oh well onwards and upwards. Luv Susie

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Re: I cant use any transport.

Post by allesandro »

If you log onto DyspraxiaFoundationUSA or youtube you can see a video by Warren Fried in which he speaks about his difficulty with public transportation and how he copes. He stresses two things: one, that he always tells the bus driver the stop he needs to get off the bus so the driver can call it out, and two--he must have a seat otherwise he can't tell where he's at. I myself have found that without sitting down on the bus I can't tell where I'm at either. I hope this is helpful

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Re: I cant use any transport.

Post by jelly1000 »

I can't drive- I had a few lessons back when I was 17 and was so bad my instructor gave up on me. My lessons were in a manual and as well as struggling with trying to steer, peddle, change gears and look where I was going at once I also struggled keeping my foot steady on the accelerator peddle. I could either put it flat to the floor or not press down at all. Thankfully I'm generally fine with public transport- now London buses shout the bus stop names I can go on any of them as I have no problem working out the bus stop name in advance. With the tube I went on it so much as a young child that as I knew how to navigate it when I was old enough to travel by myself. With the help of google maps I can usually work out where to go once off the tube/bus. Train journeys as long as I can get a seat I find very relaxing- I put my headphones in, get a cup of tea and sit back and relax. And whilst I don't love flying mainly due to lack of space, I can live with it.

The only issue I have regularly now is the gap between some tubes/trains and platforms- it can sometimes take me a minute to gain the confidence to make the jump down. Once every so often I'll take a ride on an old style train where you have to open the door yourself by leaning out the window- I can't manage that but I've always found someone else whose been able to open it.

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