Bipolar

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magpie1984
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Bipolar

Post by magpie1984 »

So this is kind of about me and kind of about my partner who I have been with for 2 and a half years. 4 months after we got together , they were diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I really struggled during their first episode. They talked very fast, about many things and were very high level in a way I couldn't cope with. I was very upset and ended up visiting family for nearly 3 weeks at the time which caused them to become worried we were breaking up or I was rethinking things when...what because I am overly happy? Eventually over time as meds settled in, things got better but then last year during covid from about April to the end of August, they had a really bad episode again...but more on the depressive side, which included a lot of indecision, going over things again and again often for hours at a time,then it turned again near the end to being overly excitable, continual talking and ideas and again generally being very high level.

During these months I ended up , with no escape and being trapped with covid gradually having my own breakdown which has now lasted a few months. I just had to get out eventually and get a support bubble with family for my own mental health. What didn't help during this time is that my partner has a complicated family which causes external pressures from outside coming in, affecting her illness and generally causing pressure. While I have been away my partners meds she says have finally settled. She says it can take up to 2 years , her psychiatrist was cancelling appts with no explanation and she has now arranged a new one, told outside people "no" more to alleviate outside stress and changed her job routine to fit in with her meds..as she was on and off work so often, got to stage 4, so then went on bank but was cancelling shifts if she didn;t feel right. So now, she says she has made all these changes and she thinks due to covid, due to her psych being no good and fact it can take this long to settle meds...she thinks she is now there and we wont have such a horrible time ever again..lets give it another go. My head is a mess...people are telling me, your out so STAY out...and dont mess with her head and feelings, look after YOU...funny how all these changes just seem to have come now and she couldn't make them beforehand. I do love her loads, but I often felt my dyspraxia and all the external stimuli and ongoing pressure and high levelness ...well if it was to carry on like last 2 years, I can't hack it. She is now being so nice and understanding to me and now my mental health is shot, says she will just care for me like i did with her...I just don't know and have been back and forward on it which is hurting her more..as am scared to give it one last try incase it doesn't work and we come out even more hurt than are already and whether to cut my losses now.
I know nobody can say either way, so just looking for some advice..Has anyone been or currently in a relationship with someone who has bipolar and whose meds are settled? The arguement friends and family have made is..bear in mind, settled meds or not...she has bipolar and always will..can you hack that? I am thinking well...maybe I don't know yet..I have not yet experienced life with someone who has it but with settled medication..only unsettled. I don't know what longer term holds...and with my dyspraxia and weakenesses to deal with a lot of chaotic stimuli or environment is it a healthy situation? I have already had a mini breakdown..do I risk another and also hurting her? words of wisdom anyone?..many thanks
Tom fod
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Re: Bipolar

Post by Tom fod »

Hi again
Unfortunately the unprecedented times and uncertainty we're living through have made our daily existence even more of a pressure cooker. You have to be able to look after yourself first, to be able to function and/or be a good partner. The same is true for your partner too.

I find Dyspraxia makes handling difficult and emotionally charged situations a lot more difficult and I have to work hard to stay calm (for me), while others around me are not. You clearly both care intensely and both of you will be subject to some level of 'compassion fatigue' from time to time.

If she's back on an even keel that is indeed good news but I guess you both need to learn to be mindful of your own and each others warning signs. Recognising these and promptly taking the right action straight away is no easy feat. I very much suspect some of her traits when her condition is bad will really grate on you?

I have some good friends with MH challenges but feel saying that X will always be a nightmare due to condition Y is a bit sweeping? However, you do have to balance it with taking good care of you and your own emotional health and wellbeing. I believe you both need to have some open conversations about how to deal sensitively with each other on your less good days. That would be the theory! Putting this into practise on a day to day living together basis will always have ups and downs.

Hope this outside perspective give you other angles from which to evaluate your forward plans. I wish both or you all the best, whatever you decide to do, together or independently.
Tom
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Gehrman
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Re: Bipolar

Post by Gehrman »

When it comes to being in a relationship with someone who has bipolar disorder, it's important to remember that everyone's experience is different. While some people can manage the challenges that come with the illness, others may find it too difficult to handle. It's important to consider your own needs and limitations, as well as your partner's.

It's encouraging to hear that your partner is taking steps to manage their illness, such as seeking a new psychiatrist, saying no to external stressors, and adjusting their job routine. However, it's important to remember that bipolar disorder is a chronic illness and it may require ongoing management and support and long treatment. [illegal advertising link removed by Admin] has hand-picked providers for representing the highest standard of clinical care.
Ultimately, the decision of whether to continue the relationship or not is a personal one, and only you can make that choice. It may be helpful to take some time to reflect on your own needs and feelings, and to seek support from loved ones or a therapist as you navigate this difficult decision.
Last edited by Tom fod on Mon Apr 03, 2023 7:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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