Living with dyspraxia

[David c]

Hi everyone my name is David

I am struggling right now with a mixed bag of emotions. I am currently in training to be an MH nurse; I have two kids that are being tested for autism and dyspraxia (separate condition per child) do it's quite stressful right now.

I keep getting into arguments with my wife over things that I don't mean to happen, e.g., not putting the lid on the jar suitably not understanding how to keep on top of the kitchen chores, not locking the car, forgetting where the remote is or losing it along with my bank cards. Frankly, it's a lengthy list. I swear it's not laziness but I can't explain what's happening and it's getting worse. It's dime times like a fog over my brain like depression but not ; not making much sense but I'm hoping someone can help me. I'm starting to get angry and frustrated more often too

I hope you can help
Kind regards
David

[Tom fod]

Hi David and welcome.

I"d be stressed too. You have a lot going on and your brain will likely ave kicked up a gear. The multiple things you have to think/worry about are dizzying and if you're anything like me I v much suspect you become harder on and more demanding of yourself.

Treat yourself kindly like you would with someone you were caring for. Try to find ways to slow yourself down and take a step back and before launching into things.

I imagine your wife is equally stressed so it may be worth both chatting about things like is a badly replaced jam lid actually grounds for divorce?

It is absolutely NOT laziness. It is trying to do everything all at once and in a mad panic rush. Slowing down is counter intuitive (Don't I know it) but it will really help.

All the best

Tom

PS. Do you mind if I delete 1st duplicate instance of this post in Dyspraxia Chat section?

[David c]

No, I don't mind at all.

Thank you for your reply. My wife finds it really hard, she sees the world in black and white and minimal grey, where live in the various categories of grey.it creates flashpoints, then because my brain tends to drift it makes things worse so is a jar lid Ground for Divorce...... probably

I’m finding that if routine changes and I haven’t had exercise, it gets even worse, and I’m convinced that as I get older, it’s getting worse. I just wish there was an in-person support group I could go to it seems very lacking around the Durham area

[Tom fod]

Hi again David

Apologies for long silence
I'm aware of a Teeside group but believe like many it is more parent and child focused. The Pandemic has thrown a whole load of extra uncertainty into all of our lives. Mine included.

Have you been able to talk openly with the wife about what each of your current concerns are and whether there might be a truce called. I've always found I'm apt to be my own harshest critic and this especially comes to the for in times of uncertainty or when things are difficult. We all need to be kinder to ourselves.


It might be worth reaching out to see if there are other folk in your area who are interested in starting a local group for adults. This is no easy feat as we can all be quite a reticent bunch.
Would some kind of virtual meeting on Skype or Zoom appeal?