feeling like needs are not met

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g0lddust0
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feeling like needs are not met

Post by g0lddust0 »

i am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend who has dyspraxia. when we are talking over the phone he is easily distracted and starts to browse on social media. this upsets me a lot because when i am speaking, sometimes he is not listening to what i have to say which makes me feel like i am not important. this hits me hard because throughout my life, people have shown me time and time again that what i have to say is unimportant. so the one person i would like the attention from is my partner but he has dyspraxia which makes it hard for him. i cant help but think that my needs are undervalued and are not being met :( and i know he is trying but whenever he isnt paying attention to me i get upset. i have been trying to be patient with him but my frustration really gets to me. i have spoken to him about this issue and he has reassured me that he is trying but i cant help how i feel sometimes.
Tom fod
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Re: feeling like needs are not met

Post by Tom fod »

You have to be careful that your own narrative whereby you feel like you're constantly sidelined isn't the overwhelming feeling. Yes he does get distracted easily and may not be as attentive as many would hope or expect.

Some dyspraxic's struggle with short term memory and auditory processing so you might say "what did I just say?"
He might find it impossible to remember or say and might not easily realise or may be a bit in denial because he's embarrassed and self conscious about this and other failings. I

The distracted fiddling with social media can also be a nervous reaction/compulsion. Please ask him.
Tom
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Jim
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Re: feeling like needs are not met

Post by Jim »

It’s all got to be a bit ‘give and take’.

Sometimes it easy to forget that being dyspraxic can be mentally exhausting. We spend our entire day trying to hold it all together with our brains being bombarded and overloaded.

Many dyspraxics find day to day activities extremely cognitively challenging. Often... we just need a bit less going on in the evening to unwind.

But this is something you have to approach with your partner to see how you can support them and also how they can support you too.
“When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie
That's amore” :whistle:
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