Finding a date

Talk about socialising, making friends and relationships

Moderator: Moderator Team

Post Reply
Getting settled in
Posts: 14
Joined: Mon Jul 15, 2013 5:53 pm

Finding a date

Post by rmel82 »

Does anyone know of groups where someone who is neurodiverse can find a date. I have tried regualar internet dating but generally one of two things happens 1) men try to rush me into a relationship or 2)they disappear. Very occasionally they like me but I feel no chemistry.

I feel that the reason that I have men rush me is that they can tell that I am different and they think they can manipulate me. On the converse side men who disappear are put off by my strangeness.

As I feel that the fact that I am neurodiverse puts men off I decided to join dating sites for those with disabilities but I found:

physical disability and neurodiverse are linked together (I would prefer a neurodiverse partner because 1) my disability makes it hard enough to look after myself without looking after anyone else and 2)I feel that someone with a hidden disability will understand me more.
As well as dyspraxia I also have autistic spectrum condition. I joined a dating website for individuals with autistic spectrum conditions but the men far out number the women, sometimes the men get bored and stop visiting the site.

I also joined the outsiders clubs in order to meet people for dating.

Would anyone have any ideas about how I can find someone I am London based.

Tom fod
Posts: 2329
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 9:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Finding a date

Post by Tom fod »

Interesting question and I hope you/we get lots of thoughts on this

Currently I'm at a point where I've given up on dating sites. It's very much a numbers game and I just don't seem to tick the boxes of what woman kind wants/needs. Am I too weird for them or is it the other way around (see ... ils#p30552 -third post in thread).

I start off excited/hopeful but the disappointment and resultant misery is never far away. I've never got a second date. I have some great female friends but for various perfectly understandable/valid reasons these friendships have not developed into relationships.

It might be an idea to try activity related stuff that you enjoy in the hope you'll meet someone through that as then there's less of the 'I must impress this person pressure' but I guess the advantage of doing things via a dating site removes at least some of the ambiguity (or does it?)

All the best and for anyone thinking "well I wouldn't have written that" please do feel free to politely and constructively shoot holes through my post.

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Power poster
Posts: 186
Joined: Sat Jun 17, 2017 11:35 pm

Re: Finding a date

Post by Dan »

I am much the same, although I'm a guy. I am ASD too, although not strongly. I am sorry that people disappear on you or try to manipulate you. I am on the opposite side of the spectrum - often being far too nice to an absurd degree. :p

I'm afraid that I don't know any sites for neurodiverse people specifically. Perhaps you could try organising a London meet up here and you may serendipitously meet somebody?

Post Reply