Partner of Someone WIth Dyspraxia

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Nell
New member - welcome them!
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Joined: Sun Jul 18, 2021 8:11 am

Partner of Someone WIth Dyspraxia

Post by Nell »

Hello,

I am not sure if I should be on this platform, as I personally am not dyspraxic. my partner is, however.

I had previously been looking at the generic articles online but then found some threads where it was first hand information, and that helped me see things clearer with my partner, so I wanted to give it a shot and ask for some advice...

Prior to dating, we were friends for a few months, so I know that is originally how we gained trust for each other. it has been a rough couple of weeks where I have let my own struggles blindisght me, and looking back now I can see how I was doing everything that he struggles with. I was wanting answers immediately, questioning emotions, I need facial expressions to understand and sometimes he looks blank so I was pulling that up, etc.

I am terrified of ruining what we have by not being understanding enough, so I was wondering if any of you could give me some tips on what you would want from your partner/what they do for you to make things a touch easier on a daily basis?

I am trying to be consistent with my affection towards him, and always start/end the day with a good morning/night text, I have written him letters for when he may be struggling more, I'm trying to make sure we do the things that he likes most, and I do let him know my feelings towards him on a very regular basis. But maybe I am overkilling it? I don't now, I myself am quite an anxious person so maybe I am just doing what I think would help me? Either way, I still get a kick in the gut when he doesn't respond in the same way, but then I am starting to tell myself that this is the way he processes emotions. Because he has said that he wants me in his further and has even said about living together. Is that bad? I don't know, I really don't.

I want this to work more than anything, as I truly believe we are meant to be together. However, I am worried that the damage is already done...

Any advice/tips would be greatly welcomed.

Thank you in advance x
Tom fod
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Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 9:05 pm
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Re: Partner of Someone WIth Dyspraxia

Post by Tom fod »

Hi and welcome

You don't have to be dyspraxic to post here. As long as you're not attacking things that might not be our fault. (We're more than capable of worrying about and beating ourselves up for these things!)

The key here is interpreting his mannerisms and what he says (or doesn't say). We're all affected differently and react to things differently based on past experience so it can be hard to nail down if anything is directly Dyspraxia related. Communication Difficulties often cause us a lot of stress and frustration and this can and does affect our relationships.

As with anyone it's good to be open honest and rational. Not always easy as we are all human and if we care much more passionately about something that can potentially cause unnecessary disagreement.

An open and honest conversation about insecurities and what brings out the best and worse in each of you could be one idea for a conversation. I think we all shy away from difficult conversations and what goes unsaid or unheeded can cause resentment to build.i find I don't do well with uncertainty so would rather be told directly but not too directly. .
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
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