Struggling with physical exercise - insecure in relationship

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JadeD
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2020 10:10 am

Struggling with physical exercise - insecure in relationship

Post by JadeD »

Hi all,

I’m looking for some advice and empathy I think. This is my first time posting and I’d love to find people who understand.

I’m currently on holiday with my lovely partner in the Peak District. But I’m now sat in the car, writing this, whilst he’s off on a walk. I feel lonely and embarrassed.

Yesterday, we walked about eight miles along a lovely flat surface. So today he picked a walk up a hill in the Peak District through woodland. There are paths, but they’re rough, steep and uneven. In addition to my dyspraxia, I also have poor eyesight.

He can scamper up like a mountain goat. He’s incredibly healthy and runs half marathons with relative ease. However, there were also little children who could manage this walk easier than me.

I attempted it a couple of times but I was scared of falling and absolutely mortified that everyone else was finding it so easy. I felt like they were staring at me. I also hate making my partner slow down and I feel like it’s boring for him.

I said I didn’t want to do it, told him to carry on so as not to miss out, and returned to the car.

Is there anyone else who would feel humiliated in this situation? I feel like I’m letting him down and he could easily have someone much more adept than me. What’s worse is, this feeling of embarrassment will linger all day. I’ll be on the verge of tears for hours, thinking about my initial frustration and then of giving up.

Thanks for reading and for any replies. Hope someone else understands.

Tom fod
Administrator
Posts: 2357
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 9:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Struggling with physical exercise - insecure in relationship

Post by Tom fod »

Hi Jade

Welcome

I'm also a bit visually impaired and while I haven't been to Peak District I have experienced some rough terrain hiking and know it can be scary and humiliating to have to turn back or choose not to go. However, you can only proceed at a pace at which you're comfortable. Ignoring others who are passing you with ease is not easy but you have as much right to be enjoying the trail as they are. It may be worth picking up a trekking pole or two.

I'm sure he is disappointed that you couldn't make it to the top with him. He possibly feels bad that he pushed you beyond your level of comfort. I hope you've been able to talk about it with him since?


JadeD wrote:
Thu Jul 30, 2020 11:46 am
Hi all,

I’m looking for some advice and empathy I think. This is my first time posting and I’d love to find people who understand.

I’m currently on holiday with my lovely partner in the Peak District. But I’m now sat in the car, writing this, whilst he’s off on a walk. I feel lonely and embarrassed.

Yesterday, we walked about eight miles along a lovely flat surface. So today he picked a walk up a hill in the Peak District through woodland. There are paths, but they’re rough, steep and uneven. In addition to my dyspraxia, I also have poor eyesight.

He can scamper up like a mountain goat. He’s incredibly healthy and runs half marathons with relative ease. However, there were also little children who could manage this walk easier than me.

I attempted it a couple of times but I was scared of falling and absolutely mortified that everyone else was finding it so easy. I felt like they were staring at me. I also hate making my partner slow down and I feel like it’s boring for him.

I said I didn’t want to do it, told him to carry on so as not to miss out, and returned to the car.

Is there anyone else who would feel humiliated in this situation? I feel like I’m letting him down and he could easily have someone much more adept than me. What’s worse is, this feeling of embarrassment will linger all day. I’ll be on the verge of tears for hours, thinking about my initial frustration and then of giving up.

Thanks for reading and for any replies. Hope someone else understands.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

JadeD
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2020 10:10 am

Re: Struggling with physical exercise - insecure in relationship

Post by JadeD »

Hi Tom,

Thanks for the reply.

We did talk about it in the afternoon. I said I’d felt embarrassed. He kept saying there’s no need but it feels like he still doesn’t quite ‘get it’. He admits he doesn’t really understand how it feels or how I struggle. We’ve been together a year and a half and he only realised a month ago that I can only see blurry colours and shapes without my glasses!

I feel better knowing it’s not an unusual experience though and the poles are a good suggestion.

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