my boyfriend has dyspraxia and i don't know how to approach splitting up chores, cause i'm doing so much rn

[lone_pilot]

Hi,
I'm currently in my first year at Uni and i (19M) met my boyfriend (19M) about 4 months ago and we started dating. He has dyspraxia and i do feel like i'm doing a lot of the work and i don't mean this derogatorily, but i feel like i'm doing all of the manual stuff in the relationship, including cooking, most of the cleaning, the laundry most weeks. whenever i suggest to him about learning to cook so that we can do it together and i'm not cooking every night he brings up his dyspraxia and i know i shouldn't, but as someone who doesn't have dyspraxia i feel like he uses it as an excuse to get out of a lot of the chores? I just need some advice because I'm just feeling like because i'm doing a lot of the stuff in the relationship and i think it maybe seeping into our relationship? i love him but idk if it's an equal investment. i've also been taking care of all of the housing for next year at uni so i just need some advice on how to approach this, because i'm feeling a bit out of my depth here. (this is also my first relationship).
Any advice would be really appreciated

[Tom fod]

Hi

Every dyspraxic is an individual and there could be numerous reasons. These might include a fear of doing things badly or wrong because with others it has spiralled into conflict further decreasing his self-esteem and willingness to try. For example at home no one gave him opportunity to learn how and what to do so he doesn't know where to start and is so embarrassed he tries to cover up by avoidance of tasks.

You'll have to ask him and he may struggle to answer on the spot There is a degree of crossover of dyspraxic traits and ADHD too and this can make applying ourselves difficult.How To ADHD is worth a look for additional potential insight.