Issues with my long term partner (5 years)
Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2024 12:31 pm
Hi Guys, Hope everyone is well. Hopefully you can help me out and give me some advice and ways to improve.
Bit of background on myself, as a child I was diagnosed with Dyspraxia, it didn't really affect co-ordination but more speech, and I underwent a lot of speech therapy growing up. I am now 27, and my partner is 23. I haven't really thought about my dyspraxia for a long time, not until the last few months where it clicked that this may be causing some of our issues. And I want to find a way to work through them. I am currently on the waiting list for CBT through my areas talking therapies over the NHS. However Rose is fairly fed up as I have been saying I will address below but never really have. But I need to do this now to save my relationship.
I have been with my partner Rose, for 5 years now, living together with a mortgage for 2, and engaged for 1.
Recently a lot of issues have been raised about the last year, I was quite unaware but Rose hasn't really been happy since we have been engaged. There is things I need to work on, getting into a better cleaning routine around the house, my self esteem and impulsiveness (purchases not cheating).
The big issue is Rose feels I do not listen to her. And when we may go over a conversation, I will say, well I didn't say that, or that didn't happen. Rose assumes from this I am calling her a liar and we get into an argument over this, I will then through this realise I did mishear or not understand it properly and Rose is understandably exhausted from fighting it. I just seem to be stuck in a loop of doing this. Is this something others struggle with, not remembering or forgetting a lot of conversations?
What can I do to get better at this and improve? Should I seek sooner therapy for CBT?
I have suggested we do couples therapy, however she says she would be insulted if I started listening to a therapist and not her when she has been asking me for things.
Bit of background on myself, as a child I was diagnosed with Dyspraxia, it didn't really affect co-ordination but more speech, and I underwent a lot of speech therapy growing up. I am now 27, and my partner is 23. I haven't really thought about my dyspraxia for a long time, not until the last few months where it clicked that this may be causing some of our issues. And I want to find a way to work through them. I am currently on the waiting list for CBT through my areas talking therapies over the NHS. However Rose is fairly fed up as I have been saying I will address below but never really have. But I need to do this now to save my relationship.
I have been with my partner Rose, for 5 years now, living together with a mortgage for 2, and engaged for 1.
Recently a lot of issues have been raised about the last year, I was quite unaware but Rose hasn't really been happy since we have been engaged. There is things I need to work on, getting into a better cleaning routine around the house, my self esteem and impulsiveness (purchases not cheating).
The big issue is Rose feels I do not listen to her. And when we may go over a conversation, I will say, well I didn't say that, or that didn't happen. Rose assumes from this I am calling her a liar and we get into an argument over this, I will then through this realise I did mishear or not understand it properly and Rose is understandably exhausted from fighting it. I just seem to be stuck in a loop of doing this. Is this something others struggle with, not remembering or forgetting a lot of conversations?
What can I do to get better at this and improve? Should I seek sooner therapy for CBT?
I have suggested we do couples therapy, however she says she would be insulted if I started listening to a therapist and not her when she has been asking me for things.