Greetings

[ShrubRush]

Hello everyone! My name is Rory (pseudonym), I'm 24, and I received an educational diagnosis of dyspraxia when I was 16, followed by a formal diagnosis earlier this year at 23 following the recommendation of an Autism Assessor. I also have diagnoses of hypermobility, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (you'd think there would be a quicker way of describing such commonly comorbid conditions than listing off four different diagnoses, wouldn't you?)

Although my mum identified my dyspraxia when I was around seven (prior to that, my walking and standing milestones were slightly late but not very late, and I never coasted), school said they wouldn't intervene as I was too academic. I had social and organisational difficulties starting secondary school, but was again too academic and mild-mannered for anyone to intervene--despite the constant comments about my handwriting, frequent homework detentions, and the difficulties I had in every practical subject (especially P.E., but there's a life skills element to that, too in that I hated changing because I was so slow, hated having to remember a P.E. bag, and couldn't cope with the social pressure of team sports). Hence, although I started exhibiting symptoms of low self-esteem as early as 11, I developed fully-blown clinical depression and anxiety at 15 when trying to cope with the demand of GCSEs, though I did reasonably well on them.

Upon starting my A Levels at a new and more academically rigorous school, it took about a month for the school SENCO to intervene, and she agreed I probably had dyspraxia and recommended the accommodation of a laptop in classes and exams and printed handouts for each lesson, which were both granted. My organisational and social issues continued, however, and my mental health issues worsened. I was referred for an Autism assessment, where the psychiatrist identified ADHD (and I also got to take part in a fun EEG/ERP study where they stuck electrodes to my head and pretty much confirmed I wasn't neurotypical), but said you couldn't have both ADHD and Autism. Nonetheless, interventions were put in place, and my academic performance and mental health both improved somewhat. My counsellor suggested I be referred for another Autism assessment just after the first one (for context: private ASD assessment first time around whilst the counsellor was CAMHS), but I refused as I was worried my psychiatrist would be angry or I'd lose the accommodations for my ADHD, which were helping.

Fast forward to now, and I'm an English teacher in an Autism specialist school, and my ADHD nurse under the Community Mental Health Team recommends I be referred for yet ANOTHER Autism assessment. The assessor says that it's very borderline, but she doesn't think I'm autistic. She does, however, say that there's something more to my profile than just ADHD and anxiety, and recommends I get a dyspraxia assessment through DyspraxiaUK. I do this, and receive a definitive diagnosis of dyspraxia and a full report. Risk assessment in place for work says that I can only physically intervene in emergencies and must hand off to another member of staff ASAP, and I'm not allowed to supervise sporting activities at breaktimes.

It's a combined relief and concern, to be honest. I'd known I was dyspraxic long before I was assessed, so it was validating to receive the report, but looking at it, and reading the Occupational Therapist's notes, I still feel angry when I think about how things would have been different if I'd known earlier. In some part, I'm angry with the schools, and disappointed that my mum wasn't proactive about pursuing her suspicions, and with myself for being so complacent about the deterioration of my self-esteem and so willing to accept that I was just slow, disorganised, lazy, and vague. The fact is that it was not an invisible disability: as early as six, classmates were trying to teach me to talk properly (at a normal speed), and in secondary school, other students asked what was wrong with me, asked why I walked and talked so slowly, and told me I seemed like I had special needs. Whilst my visual perception is only a little bit below average, my BOT score puts me in the first percentile of people for my age group--i.e., worse than over 99% of the corresponding population (compared to my verbal WRIT score, which was in the 99th percentile). I can't keep a space tidy and struggle to keep up with basic self-care tasks such as brushing my teeth and doing my laundry. There's potential for permanent damage to one of my shoulders from low muscle tone elsewhere combined with my difficulty carrying a rucksack correctly during school. In truth, it feels to me as if everyone felt my academic scores were more important than my ability to take care of myself and exist as a functional human being, so any offer of help was considered too much hassle to pursue. I'm trying to catch up to where I should be, now, and am due to start my first block of Occupational Therapy sessions soon.

My goal is to reach a point where I'm able to live independently and keep my spaces inhabitable (i.e. basic hygiene observed, reasonably tidy) within the next three years. I also want to learn to drive, but the OT was clear about the fact that I'm not likely to be able to master driving a manual vehicle and might struggle with an automatic if the instructor isn't dyspraxia aware. I'm also working on coping with some of the long-term impacts of not having a diagnosis growing up such as my mental health issues, low self-esteem, and trauma from being bullied, as well as some of the musculoskeletal issues caused by poor posture, inconsistent gait, and frequent sprains/fractures from falls as a child.

If you've read this far, thank you! I hope this doesn't read like a pity spiral, because I'm motivated to improve my functional life skills and now that I know how severe it is, I know that I won't be able to do it on my own. That being said, I do grant myself grace around my anger and frustration, as I wish it hadn't taken so long and done so much harm.

[Shadwell]

Welcome to the Forum Rory

[Tom fod]

Hello Rory

Welcome to the Forum

If I'm honest I'm not a fan of the term diagnosis since it is to me too over pathologising.

I much prefer assessed or confirmed. That said I acknowledge some people absolutely need the confirmation from a clinical professional so they can accept for themselves and/or have it to hand to compel an employer to offer them the reasonable adjustments /flexibility they need.

We so often remain undetected as we're intelligent and can find ways to mask our difficulties or avoid challenging situations where we can. I just decided sport was pretty pointless though I could swim well as long as it wasn't formal competition.

There is seems to to be lack of professional agreement on what the criteria are for Dyspraxia (AKA DCD) and how it fits in with other ND conditions

There was definitely more fear of attaching labels to people though having the explanation enables us to move forward hopefully not simply thinking we are lazy or stupid etc through constantly being told that.

Hope my random thoughts make sense.