Hello

[Katharine]

I'm Katharine. I was diagnosed with dyspraxia I think at primary school age, 80's/early nineties, and I think I'm unusual in that I didn't really know about the things concerning coordination and sensory processing, I just absorbed the terms as 'why I could read well but my spelling was terrible'. At thirteen I scored a reading age of 18 and a writing age of eight, which has a kind of pleasing symmetry.

It was gently suggested to me by my school that I drop French and take Extra English lessons, everyone else in there struggled with reading so, not unreasonably, I suppose, that was the focus of the lessons. I also got sent to the dyslexia institute which I think is probably great... for people with dyslexia. But I'd been reading adult level books since I was about eight years old.

Around GCSE time it was firmly suggested to me that I not take English A level. Now I know why they had 100% passes and 90% A or B grades. I also know this was a sight of low confidence in their teaching abilities.(I want to observe here I got an A for literature and B for language in my GCSE's. It's partly on me for not fighting this with the school.) I took chemistry, dropped out after the first year. Took two A levels at home via correspondence course. Dropped out of university for reasons of mental health.

Just as I was approaching my 30s, I started with the OU. I favoured broad humanities modules, got distinctions for everything apart from one 30 credit module. In the second and third levels I took creative writing because at that point my aim was a creative writing MA. That left one 60 credit level three module, at which point I knew I didn't need a distinction to get a first, and the literature one was so inviting. It was called 'from Shakespeare to Austen' which is exactly the era of British literature I always loved to read. But I was nervous, I wasn't even supposed to take English A level. I signed up anyway, bought every OU literature course book I could find on a certain shopping website, a bunch of Palgrave Macmillan books, and took the gamble. I got a distinction, got a first, got the desire to do an MA in literature, which I am currently doing. Got a distinction on the taught module, dissertation (edited from the 'dissipation' spellcheck substituted, though I quite liked the idea) module ongoing.

I'm sorry, I sound like I'm bragging. Everything feels like a disaster while I'm doing it though.

The thing is - I know it's harder work than it needs to be. Today I was working on my sample chapter for my MA, and my brain completely crashed out. I went and did some work on something else I'm doing, then did a lot of house cleaning, so I'm sure it's not CF, or Laziness, I have a desk full of drafts and notes on articles, but the shape of the stuff in my head isn't taking form. And I'm pretty sure it will, but the process is very chaotic. I doubt I could have got the degree I did full time.My working has become more efficient through the years, in a very hit and miss fashion. I know how to do it, but not all the time, and I end up drowning in my own chaos. And I'm also a little angry that I'm 42 and doing something I probably could have been doing twenty years ago.

And I only recently realised how many other parts of my life play into this. Difficulty hearing people because of sensory processing. Manual tasks (I worked, not very well, in pubs for many years). Socialisation. Keeping my house, let alone my desk in any kind of order. Even walking so I don't wear down the backs of my shoes. I wish I'd had this forum many years ago, but I'm very glad to find it now.

[Tom fod]

Hi Katharine

Welcome. It's a confusing condition as we can excel in some areas but be really poor in others. We're often very driven and our own harshest critics too.

Some of our traits are similar to those experienced by our 'dyslexic cousins' so it sounds like you were lumped in with them. We're often big picture thinkers and can easily become lost in the minutiae/take fright at all we need to do rather than chip away at one distinct task at a time.

[GallusLass]

Hi Katharine - I get what you mean about hearing. Everything seems to come in at the same level and it's almost impossible to differentiate between background and foreground noise. When people shout in your ear - it feels like your ear drums are going to burst - it's so painful. I really wish they wouldn't do that. Everyone who really knows me knows to forget even trying to communicate in a loud social situation - we just dance. That's why, for my 60th birthday, I organised a really loud punk band and I could be totally anti-social on the dance floor all night! I also used to hate the OU summer school or work courses when they would say "Split into small groups and discuss" - in the one room - nightmare!

[Tom fod]

Hi Katharine - I get what you mean about hearing. Everything seems to come in at the same level and it's almost impossible to differentiate between background and foreground noise. When people shout in your ear - it feels like your ear drums are going to burst - it's so painful. I really wish they wouldn't do that. Everyone who really knows me knows to forget even trying to communicate in a loud social situation - we just dance. That's why, for my 60th birthday, I organised a really loud punk band and I could be totally anti-social on the dance floor all night! I also used to hate the OU summer school or work courses when they would say "Split into small groups and discuss" - in the one room - nightmare!

Now if I can just organise the Anti-Nowhere League for my 50th in 4 years! Then again judging by Animal's autobio they might behave worse than me!

I definitely struggle with filtering out what others are saying when there's background noise, fortunately not usually to the point of discomfort.