Dyspraxic Adults

Hello
I'm 25 and I have undiagnosed dyspraxia. My mum told me she knew I had it when I was little but didn't want a label out on me. She told me she didn't it to hold me back. I did very well at school with the support of my mum and she always told me I could do anything I wanted to do.
I left home at 18 to go to college, I did terrible in college and spent most of my time with friends. I never managed to keep my flat tidy or my appearance and I never managed to organise my study or study. I started to fail and struggled with adult life so I moved back home.
I got a job at a restraunt which I found extremely difficult and I would stress easily and give customers wrong change and so I was put on cleaning duties. I left after only a few months.
I moved back out at 20, with an acceptance letter for university, I was determined to pass. I started to look after myself the best I could, I started to cook simple food, I found a man and things were going well, until I failed a placement and everything came crashing down. I dropped out of university and moved in with my partner. Found myself a job for a year and then found my current role.

However things aren't going well. I'm struggling and can't seem to do anything right, more at home then at work. I clean and I try to cook but my partner always shouts at me and gets annoyed easily. He says even people with dyspraxia have brains and I don't. He says I am a child. I feel like I don't have any confidence left. I am making more mistakes and I'm feeling stressed all the time. I struggle with even the simplest of tasks. Everything is so hard for me. It just doesn't process. I feel like a huge failure and I'm missing milestones someone at 25 should of done. I've spent years learning to drive but never passed my test. I can't really socialise and I struggle with social anxiety.

At work it's a different story, I feel confident and people treat me with respect and talk to me like I'm an adult. I struggle with tasks at work but I'm in a supportive environment. I feel like I'm thriving at work, just wish it was the same in my personal life.

Hi YellowSunshine

I don't really 'display' my label as sadly some people look at it and are not intelligent enough to understand it's doesn't begin to cover the full me and what I'm capable of/might struggle with. I guess there's a case for more openness but that is not easy. I feel there has always been a quite natural fear of attaching labels to people because sadly some will look no further than the label and judge on the basis of that alone.

It's great to hear that at least on the work front you are respected and treated as part of the team.

Not driving is a pain and I definitely feel I have been judged by others for that (not forgetting to include myself). I'm a 42 yr old single guy and only left home to live in my own untidy flat at the age of 37 (if that's any consolation) but comparing oneself against other people is never objective and it always seems greener on the other side of the fence.

I hope others can offer some more relevant responses to this post.

Take care.

Hi,
I don't really have much to offer in advice but I am in a similar situation myself but more on the work front (and driving which is going disastrously ). I also have major issues with housework and cooking... terrible. I am 26 year old lady and undiagnosed but am sure I have Dyspraxia. You are doing great, you're doing your best and that's what counts. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone in how you feel - I wish I could offer more advice but I am still looking for that myself. If you want to talk ever though just message me on here I am a good listener. Keep going and remember you are doing great.
x

I completely relate to how you feel.

My wife is generally supportive but I feel she doesn't really understand just how much dyspraxia attacks our self confidence & self esteem. Comments like those from your partner just add to the feeling of being totally useless & worthlesd
I'm only recently diagnosed & trying to get my head around how exactly my dyspraxia affects me.

At work my line manager has been really supportive but the rest of our team don't know about my dyspraxia yet.

Hi there.

I am 26 and went through an extremely similar trajectory at university and with life in general. I did end up with a job I loved at one point, but it is really hard to find that for most people most of the time.

I am quite tired right now but am keen to explain more and will be back later to elaborate.

PS
Obviously being Dyspraxic does not make you stupid. I am guessing your partner was just frustrated. Doesn't excuse them saying that but I am guessing it was just a one off thing?

Bye for now.