Teejaye98 wrote:
Since this breakup, I have been accepted to university - however I have had no help with any of my schooling and the doctors estimate it will be two years before I get "diagnosed" fully and they give me the proper paperwork. This is all so confusing and shameful, I know it shouldn't be but it is. I'm afraid I'll never find a fulfilling relationship because I am dyspraxic and nobody will understand and want to love me.
Hi, I'm new to the forum and wasn't sure what to write but, I saw your post and felt some kinship in regards to your worries so, I wanted to explain a few things from my perspective of having gone through a similar situation as a guy.
Im 21 and am graduating from university in July, I started uni having had access arrangements that had expired at the start of my course. As a result I did not get the support I needed in my exams for my first year. However, when I got round to have an onsite assessment, I was statemented within the day and my arrangements were organised for the following exam period (I did it too late for my first year deadline). If doctors are saying 2 years, they are exaggerating at least a bit, the first day you have at uni go onto student support and arrange a meeting to be assessed for dyspraxia, it's not big deal, it's really helpful and will answer questions.
I have been with my Fiancée for three and a bit years, having got engaged recently. I used to (and still do sometimes) feel that I was unloveable or unattractive physically & personally because I'd only been in one real relationship which was ended by the person saying they slowly stopped liking me after a period of 6+ months (that messed with my mind quite a lot as I didn't feel I got a concrete reason that I could gain any insight from). However, I didn't have the knowledge about my dyspraxia to blame it on that if it makes sense but, if I had known about the personality part of dyspraxia then I definitely would have, which would've been damaging.
So I can understand the way you feel.
However, your diagnosis (right word?) does not change who you are, it does not make you any less in any sense of the word, you are you and you will find someone, I can promise you that. The world is so connected now, it's so much more likely that you will find someone to love than its ever been, you having dyspraxia is not going to discount you from love, it's not going to come into someone's mind when they're thinking about dating you.
I'd also say that if someone can't deal with supporting your specific needs in a romantic relationship, then that's a result of them not being good enough/suited to you, not a problem with you. That works a general aspect of relationships anyway, anyone not willing or able to support you doesn't deserve you (though it does work both ways).
If you fancy it, or if the forum allows it, you can send me a pm about life a uni as a dyspraxic, I know that I would've liked to have someone to talk who had been through what I was going through (or possibly might go through).
If not, it's cool, doors always open.
I just recently got dumped and it's the worst pain I've ever felt. On top of finding out I have dyspraxia, I think it will be even harder to find a fulfilling relationship with a man who will want to deal with all that comes with me being dyspraxic. I thought I had found someone supportive because I know that having to help me find my way around places and do other simple things (I have taught myself how to do zips and buttons for the most part, as well as tie shoes, etc- I have had to learn no matter how frustrating it is, I am proud of myself but scared). ](./images/smilies/eusa_wall.gif "Brick wall"){kind=small}