Work & me... sooo pathetic!

[dysclaire]

I have no formal diagnosis for dyspraxia but I tick all the boxes.
work has been a series of failures.
I studied business and my first jobs were to do with admin. I forgot zeros on cheques, did not copy data accurately, forgot appointments, sent stuff to the wrong address...got called into the manager's office for a good telling off many times How can I be soo scatterbrain? Am I daydreaming? Did I proofread?
Yep...
Teaching was a failure too. Photocopied the wrong stuff for my lessons. Did not realise the deadline to enter kids for their exams. Forgot important meetings...
So now I have my own business, no boss can tell me off anymore, but my own inner critic can be ruthless sometimes.
So guess what: I struggle with organisation.
I spent all the bank holiday weekend preparing my lessons and ended up copying the wrong stuff.
I procrastinate because I am not sure how to approach my books. My admin is behind and I am getting overwhelmed. I often turn up late having forgotten some of my material. I try and keep repeating the same f*** mistakes. There is no hope for me. My mother tells me I am smart, why can't I hold a job?
How do you cope with work?

[ssuma]

I have no formal diagnosis for dyspraxia but I tick all the boxes.
work has been a series of failures.
I studied business and my first jobs were to do with admin. I forgot zeros on cheques, did not copy data accurately, forgot appointments, sent stuff to the wrong address...got called into the manager's office for a good telling off many times How can I be soo scatterbrain? Am I daydreaming? Did I proofread?
Yep...
Teaching was a failure too. Photocopied the wrong stuff for my lessons. Did not realise the deadline to enter kids for their exams. Forgot important meetings...
So now I have my own business, no boss can tell me off anymore, but my own inner critic can be ruthless sometimes.
So guess what: I struggle with organisation.
I spent all the bank holiday weekend preparing my lessons and ended up copying the wrong stuff.
I procrastinate because I am not sure how to approach my books. My admin is behind and I am getting overwhelmed. I often turn up late having forgotten some of my material. I try and keep repeating the same f*** mistakes. There is no hope for me. My mother tells me I am smart, why can't I hold a job?
How do you cope with work?

Hi...Very sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time.

I am empathetic to your situation as I struggled with similar problems. I don't think the symptoms of dyspraxia can be eliminated, but they can be mitigated with a little creativity. For instance, to compensate for my poor short term memory, I tried to keep a google calendar on my pc and my desktop. Every time I received a new deadline, I input it into my google calendar which I check regularly. So far, it is working very effectively.

Certainly, modern work place can be ruthless at times. The only advice I have for you is to keep trying. Moreover, make use of your creativity to develop new strategies that work best for you. There are many tools that were developed that could mitigate (though not eliminated) the effects of dyspraxia, hence, I honestly advice you to take some time and do some research to find the right tools for you.

On a side note, if possible (though I understand it could be expensive if no one is paying for you), I advised you get a formal diagnosis. It will help you get to know yourself better. Hence, you can better strategize how to coup with your weaknesses.

[Tom fod]

Hi Claire and welcome.

I feel sure your Mum is right 8-)

I too have a ruthless inner critic and whilst my fear of getting things wrong can help me focus to do things properly. Unfortunately I'm a bit of a perfectionist so when I get things wrong I really can make myself suffer, far more than anyone else can typically ever manage.

I think a bit of obsessiveness can help, but you have to be careful to strike a balance and that is the difficult part. Also the additional degree of concentration many of us have to apply is quite tiring and I can well imagine having your own business means longer hours than for those of us who can avoid 'taking work home and leave the office behind at night/over the weekend'.

While I know I am guilty of many of these sins I would suggest
- trying to concentrate on fewer things at a time.
- having clear off and on duty times and try to
- devise and have personally tailored systems in place to help you manage and organise your workload
- try to keep calm and accept that stuff won't always go to plan.

There are many factors many of which are outside our control. I find I'm a bit prone to panic/rush stuff sometimes. [understatement alert!]

I admire you for starting your own business. I don't think it's something I could easily cope with stress wise.

I do hope this site can help in some small way. Feel free to ask more questions, even challenge my response if you need to.

[dysclaire]

Thank you Ssuma and Tom!
I know the strategies offered have been tried and tested, so it make them well worth a try.
Your self awareness is amazing. I am already feeling more positive!

[Clumsy]

Hey Dysclaire

I read your post with great familiarity, minus the part where you have started your own business, Kudos!!

The big wide world of work I find a terrifying place. I don't particularly enjoy my job, but can't really see myself making a good case for myself in a job interview. So, do my best to engineer my work place to suit me as best as possible. Things like having a desk away from the noisy parts of the office; being somewhat selective in what accounts I look after; being rigid with my time in the office but also allowing myself to de-stress by internet-based procrastination (hence I found this forum, thanks guys!); and being obsessive with detail and tidiness.

I use the same tactics for life in general. I have got in the habit of spending a few hours on a Sunday morning sorting my personal admin. Things like check bank statements, renew car insurance, make food shopping list, clean shoes, etc. It usually takes 2 hours/ish, sometimes less, sometimes more. But puts me in good stead for a comparatively well organised week rather than bashing through day-by-day, week by week.

None of this comes easily to me, far from it. I guess I am diverse enough to have these problems, but self-aware enough to realise I need to recognize them.

Life is a frustrating place for many, let alone us folk. But your mum is right, your smart; definitely smarter than what you'd give yourself credit for. It would be harsh to judge yourself on your failures, focus on what you can do well.

Dave

[Mr_Tom_one]

One thing I would add from my personal experience is that it can take time to work out which coping strategies are best, and sometimes you might have to try them several times before you finally get them to work for you. I've done so many things like buying little books to write notes in, getting calendars, diaries, this type of folder or that one. Often they haven't worked at first, but I've gradually found which is best for me. So - if things don't go right straight away, rather than give up, see if you can evaluate what went wrong and if you can do it differently so it works for you. I've recently bought a little whiteboard to use to plan my days which is just a bit different from doing it with a paper planner and it seems to be helping