What Was Your Teen Social Life Like?
Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2016 5:51 am
How many friends did you have? How often would you hang out with them? What would you guys do? etc
This is a very interesting question. For as long as I remember (to a certain extent till now), I try to make as many friends as possible.brandonb1516 wrote:How many friends did you have? How often would you hang out with them? What would you guys do? etc
I guess this is because we humans are social animals and instinctively enjoy company. But sometimes I stopped and think, do I really need that many friends? In fact, looking back, I wondered who are my acquaintances and who are my friends? Am I closer to the colleague I see and talk with at wirj everyday or a friend I know for over 10 years but only see once or twice every year.
I am fortunate to have few very good friends. My best friend in high school (which I have kept even now) was one of the more popular kids in the school. We do everything together. Soccer (Football in Europe), hiking, video games...etc. Since I was always hanging out with him, I am naturally surrounded by people, many of whom were there because of him. I obviously talked to his friends and they talked to me, but I wondered whether we really enjoyed each other's company. Specifically, even though me and my friend kept in touch, I did not interacted with these other people we used to hang out with. He still hang out with them, but I was never called out. Certainly, when me and my friend met, I never called them out. So I realized while I was hanging out with some 20+ kids in high school, I only have one true friend.
I don't know how many friends I have. Honestly, I don't think I have too many. Interesting enough, my best friends I have now is the best friends I have in grade and high schools. I met more people as I grow older. However, the older I gets, the less I can relate to them (though this is not always true). Does it sucks when everyone in your graduate class got invited out for drink, and you aren't, I will say yes. However, as an adult, I noticed many supposed friendships are friends with benefits. Not going to name specific details, but it is not unheard of to have seen suppose "good friends" turning on one another for a promotion, money...etc. I don't know whether I would call that friendship, if bonds could be broken so easily.
I think many dyspraxics like ourselves struggled socially simply because we are different. I don't know if attitude will change completely one day. However, I noticed people like to flock to people who can help them. Admittedly, I want to be more popular since it open doors for more opportunities who seldomly make life easier. As dyspraxics, I know many of us don't worked effectively, this turned away people. Hence, I think one potential way to ameliorate the situation is to try working more effectively by thinking outside the box. However, this is just to be popular, I am not sure how many true friends will be gained this way. Rather be more popular, I think it is more important to be independent and learn to be comfortable and confident despite all the setbacks. I know it is hard, but I always remind find the need to remind myself it is okay to be alone at times. After all, learning how to survive by oneself is part of the process in learning how to become independent (everyone struggles with this, not just dyspraxics, for us, it is just harder)
Moreover, I have to say the friends I have, I never tried hard to make them. We just naturally enjoyed each other's company. Thank goodness for that. Hence, I am glad to have loyal friends even if they are few in numbers.
PS: Not sure do anyone have this exp. I really sucked at group conversation, even when people try to include me, I often break their coherence. I do much better in one-one conversation. I think it have something to do with slow response rate caused by dyspraxia. I.E. when people switched to a new topic, I am still talking about an old topic.