Feelings of Guilt

[LuluWilz]

Does anyone else suffer from strong feelings of guilt that last for a few days at a time?

[Tom fod]

Hi and welcome
It's hard to say without knowing a bit more.
Could you offer some non sensitive examplof if the sorts of things that cause you to feel guilty?

[lightdys]

Hello

Yes, sometimes I suffer from feeling of guilt because of my dyspraxia. When I must impose my difficulties on someone. When someone must help me regularly. I am always afraid to be a constraint, a burden, for the others

For example : Last year, I had to take an exam in Paris. (I live in France, but far from Paris). But, because of my dyspraxia ,I'm can't to go out without be accompagnied by another personn. Indeed, my sense of direction is too poor: I'm lost when I go too far of my house.

So, I could not go alone to my exam. I needed help from familly members who live in Paris. That is to say, uncles and aunt who I had never seen before. I have lived in theirs homes for two weeks and I relied on them to take me to my exams every days


Consequently, I felt really guilty of imposing my presence and impose these journey every days for two weeks.

And this feeling of guilt is more strong if the personn give me to understand that I am really a constraint for her, when the personn reject me. Last year, my uncles and aunt (who are condescending and unwelcoming personns) , insisted all time about the constraint what I represented for them "Oh, my god, I am tired, theses journeys exhaust me!" So, I had a strong feeling of guilt even if I knew it was not my fault.

And they rejected me their house only a day before my last exam because they prétended I was a burden for them.

In these situation, I have a strong feeling of guilt. And it is not the only example

I know personns who react like my uncles and aunt are intolerants and unwelcoming. And I know that people really tolerants are ready to accept me, to welcome me. But, unfortunately, that does not stop the guilt


I don't know if that's what you mean ? Describe a little your own situation if you want help.

I hope I have understood what you wanted to say and that my message helps you a little?

Sorry for my long message and my probably grammar mistakes. I am french

Bye

[Beneyriey]

You're not the only one. I get the feeling of guilt all the time. If somebody ignores a text, I feel guilty because I worry whether I've offended them. If I ask whether I could use a laptop in college (as my handwriting is rubbish) I feel guilty. Don't worry buddy, you're not the only one.

[Tom fod]

I think sadly we're all too often ready to blame ourselves before anyone else can. We' all too often suffer or do it the hard way than risk having someone pass judgement on us, though we tend to be our own harshest critics.

You could turn it round and say would you prefer giving me the option to be able to type this or are you ready and up for accepting the challenge of interpreting my handwriting?

I do think people forget and 'measure' people by their own standards, whereby we'll always respond to their texts as soon as we can, lest we forget or they be somehow offended. Whereas we forget they may be tied up with something else or maybe a little bit idle or just much more relaxed about the timeline for responding.

[LuluWilz]

It's so interesting to read your responses, all so different! I have periods when I wake up and feel really low and oddly that's when I get the feeling of guilt. This can last for a few days. Then I wake up and sometimes I'm having a really good day. The bad days I find really hard, my mind is a big disorganised mess, I take everything people say to heart, any excuse to feel guilty about anything and a constant feeling of sadness. I relate entirely to what you said about when people don't respond to text messages and feeling guilty in the first place. I am so sorry also to hear about your experience in France. People can be careless with their communication and it goes a lot deepened when the receiver is dyspraxic.

Does anyone have any tips for "bad days"?

Sorry if my response is too long. This is my first time in a forum.

[Tom fod]

Hi Lulu

You're doing fine, Please feel free to include as much, or as little as you feel happy to. If it is longer it does help the reader if you can break it into paras. (you're fine as yours are short and sweet).

You also have the option to edit what you've posted later if you need to. You need to be logged in and if you look at the top right pif your own posts there is a pen icon which when hovered over tells you it's the edit option icon.

I think we often have a tendency to beat ourselves up badly over our bad days because we often feel bad that others are out there having worse days, Remember things can be beyond our control and expecting the very worst everyday can become self fulfilling. If you can access it some counselling such as CBT could be helpful. It's ok to have feelings but the trick is to be more in control of them than them controlling you. (hope that makes sense.)

[katie140]

the more I read on here the more i realise how much of my life is affected by dyspraxia and how little doctors actually know about the condition I am on anti-depressants when it's probably down to dyspraxia

[Sarachoc]

i feel bad that my collegues sometimes carry me at work, well i feel like that anyway... i get v anxious if my routine is different at work. i work with adults with learning disabilities. i offload my anxiety to collegues and they often help me. i comment by apologising for stressing with them but they dont seem to mind. im starting to feel better about it now i feel i may have dyspraxia.

Hi Sara and welcome

It might be better to look at it that your colleagues like and respect you to the degree that they are prepared to help you on your bad days because they know you'd be there for them.

A lot of us tend to be harder on ourselves than anyone else.

[Tom fod]

the more I read on here the more i realise how much of my life is affected by dyspraxia and how little doctors actually know about the condition I am on anti-depressants when it's probably down to dyspraxia

Hi Katie and welcome.
Sadly due to lack of awareness and acceptance being dyspraxic is more of a strain than it should be. We're all affected differently and have our own unique ways for getting by. Unfortunately change can sometimes render our coping strategies obsolete and it's back to square 1.

My understanding is that anti-depressants are really meant more as a temporary measure and need to be combined with other therapies such as CBT. I don't believe the emotional impact of Dyspraxia is fully appreciated and many people with the condition often suffer from/are diagnosed with mental health conditions too.

[Sarachoc]

thanks ive been told many a time that i beat myself up! im so lucky that my collegues are so caring, shame the management is not so good. although one of the co ordinaters is coming back soon from long term sick, and she actually has some empathy!! cant wait for my assessment on sunday, then i can show work the report!

[Sarachoc]

and yes i do try to recipricate with collegues/friends when i can and try to be there for them when possible