Hi guys,
This is my first new post. I'm 25, I was diagnosed with Dyspraxia as a child and as I've grown into adulthood I have tried to ignore it, tried to escape the stigma of it and not really faced up to it. I really didn't realise that most of my traits and some of the strange things I do are because of Dyspraxia. No one around me knew I had dyspraxia, my wife only found out fairly recently and lately has been struggling to deal with it. I've done plenty of really embarrassing things and struggled to keep jobs down in the past. I have good intentions and get really upset that I am frustrating to people I care about around me. I have tried to just 'deal' with all of my traits, forgetting things all the time, not communicating myself properly, breaking things, overlooking details, walking into people/objects etc.... but it is so difficult. I think of one way, writing lists or focusing on one thing at a time for example but I seem to never get better at anything. That being said I do thing I'm on a better path than I used to be, mainly because I have embraced dyspraxia as part of me now.
A product of all this means I have fairly low self esteem (although wouldn't know it if you met me), I am always embarrassed and have a generally low opinion of myself. I don't know if this is why but I have always had a problem with having an addictive personality. Drink, drugs, obsessions with things e.g hording, collecting. Does anyone else here have similar problems? Is this a dyspraxic thing or do I just have an addictive personality? Does anyone have any advice? I would really like some because I have been struggling with this since I was in my mid-teens, I've seen councilors, gone to meetings etc... but nothing seems to work. I'm not expecting an easy answer. Just someone who can relate to this maybe?
SPT
Addictive Behaviour
Moderator: Moderator Team
Addictive Behaviour
If I got rid of my demons, then my angels would leave too.
Re: Addictive Behaviour
Hi and a warm welcome SPT
My theory is (and it's not necessarily true for everyone) is that because we have to work harder at stuff we have or tend to be a bit obsessive as a coping strategy for making sure of getting it done to an acceptable standard.
The problem comes when certain other people make observations that cause us to then have doubts and become over self conscious about our coping strategy. If we are fulfilling our responsibilities and not doing anything illegal/hurting anyone what right have they got to pick away at us because we have a different way?
Sadly we can't stop them making such comments/observations and it is nigh impossible not to care/feel hurt.
My theory is (and it's not necessarily true for everyone) is that because we have to work harder at stuff we have or tend to be a bit obsessive as a coping strategy for making sure of getting it done to an acceptable standard.
The problem comes when certain other people make observations that cause us to then have doubts and become over self conscious about our coping strategy. If we are fulfilling our responsibilities and not doing anything illegal/hurting anyone what right have they got to pick away at us because we have a different way?
Sadly we can't stop them making such comments/observations and it is nigh impossible not to care/feel hurt.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Re: Addictive Behaviour
Hey there, I'm 33 and I am dysprexic , I know what it feels to pretend it's not there and not to be passionate about your self. I had a fudged up childhood parents that was harsh and strict and verbal abusive although they loved me and helped me along the way they were blinded on what was destroying my self asteam and social life. They still don't know what's going on and I'm afraid never will inside of my head of being clumsy and getting so choked up that I go into freaze mode. And more stress the more it comes like a wave of unwanted symtoms, trick is to swim on top of the waves when symtoms comes, instead of drowning to struggle to float. First thing first be kind to your self, I had a huge problem and still struggle asking why alot. I do things really good then it turns around on me and then I noticeing I am doing half fast or clumsy stuff. And then it just repeats around and around.
Stress is a killer more ways to us then to others that is not under this, if u can be kind to your self and admit u are clumsy and walk away with a smile it can't amp up and make waves to carry on rest of your day. It's hard I know , I still trying to take my advice. Going through major depression with drawls and such, drugs and drinking been there done that , bit left that behind years ago , it just hides it or make u believe you don't have it. And it actually gets tough if u try to quit cuz u don't want dysprexia to show again but it does trice the amount even with a poor behavior attitude. So if u can squish that and through that life away of hiding and abuse drinking or drugs that's awesome and a real hard thing to do for us.
Another thing is write stuff down, what's your thoughts feelings and etc poetry perhaps, it will perhaps help u to understand your ways or even if u let people read it might get them to understand what u are going through, cuz it's direct from your mind on a peace of paper ,
Facing it and admitting it's hard and it will be tough and I notice I had depression pretty much all my life with out knowing until few years back. But hey somebody put u on this world for a reason , look for that reason and try to be kind to your self and communicate don't hide it in, accept it and just be. If others like to pick and prod well guess what there world is not picture perfect either so there just stooping low to pick and to be ignorence . And there are also people to that likes to help bit u have to let them in and trust your self and them.
Stress is a killer more ways to us then to others that is not under this, if u can be kind to your self and admit u are clumsy and walk away with a smile it can't amp up and make waves to carry on rest of your day. It's hard I know , I still trying to take my advice. Going through major depression with drawls and such, drugs and drinking been there done that , bit left that behind years ago , it just hides it or make u believe you don't have it. And it actually gets tough if u try to quit cuz u don't want dysprexia to show again but it does trice the amount even with a poor behavior attitude. So if u can squish that and through that life away of hiding and abuse drinking or drugs that's awesome and a real hard thing to do for us.
Another thing is write stuff down, what's your thoughts feelings and etc poetry perhaps, it will perhaps help u to understand your ways or even if u let people read it might get them to understand what u are going through, cuz it's direct from your mind on a peace of paper ,
Facing it and admitting it's hard and it will be tough and I notice I had depression pretty much all my life with out knowing until few years back. But hey somebody put u on this world for a reason , look for that reason and try to be kind to your self and communicate don't hide it in, accept it and just be. If others like to pick and prod well guess what there world is not picture perfect either so there just stooping low to pick and to be ignorence . And there are also people to that likes to help bit u have to let them in and trust your self and them.