Amy here.
I appologise if I have offended any one with my comments and if I have then am not aware of it myself.
I am 27 and haven't had a diagnoses of Dyspraxia which led to issues like being looked down upon by a work experience boss or manager who wrote to my instructor saying that I didn't open unwrap the package fast enough.
I am in college after having had mainstream education from 2008 until now, with no breaks but some academic workers her don't believe me to be a good enough student and a support worker believes that I don't even bother working when I do but but my understanding of working is doing something whether little or small. If its not enough she will say "that's all you have done or that is ok or your sentences or paragraphs are too long. She feels that I am making excuses and that I have Dyslexia as one of her children has and that causes problems with the order and structure of sentences so if I have Dyslexia, then these other issues I mention about are just ways of trying to cover up my interest in working or studying and that I am not the only student with problems, which I think she is refering to those with disability issues. My one to one worker from Access course 2012, called me a "typical Dyspraxic" then she said there is nothing I can do for you as I am not experienced in diagnosing dyspraxia but you do have it and so do few of my children and I can clearly see dyspraxic traits in you.
I am from Ireland and this is what has happened as having no assessment for Dyspraxia at all:
"She is messy"
she is lazy
she is always making excuses for her inability to do good essays etc
she is always making excuses for her ability to perform in college
her essays and emails are too personal and essays mostly biased and personal and this is probably cause she is very opinionated and stubborn
I have been told that I am disrespectful and rude.
My family and people I hung around with in the past, say I am kind, considerate, creative, determined, hard working, want to please people and want to do well, I am understanding and very cool. However, this isn't the reputation that I have in college and I have huge social problems.
I almost failed my english seminar which was worth 8o% of the module and she said that she should have failed me as there were misquotes and just my opinion but I cannot understand this at all. If I say I can't understand something that people usually find simple etc, then she will be shocked and confused and nearly say of course you understand it. She keeps saying that I am dyslexic. Due to typing difficulties from poor motor, I make errors causing spelling mistakes. My spellings weren't bad in the past and my grammar was ok in the past but not its really bad. I am doing two subjects which has several modules.
Anyway so I lost friends due to one's views of me as immature, coming on too strong, saying inappropriate things etc. I had misinterpreted messages.
Having Dyspraxia and not being applied to being diagnosed properly as being told by psychologist that i have motor delay, dcd and another recent one from 2012, said I had mild dyslexia.
I cannot understand questions, certain sentences, certain terms, certain views of others and have missed allot of lectures as forgot where they were even though it was on my timetable and I also forgot they were on etc.
Last year I actually had suicidal thoughts again, like in 2010, so I spoke to a priest and I got to see a mental health worker who can't diagnose and she left now to look after her mother. Dyspraxia has caused issues with communication, expressing myself to professional in college, timing, estimation, judgements and understanding distances, encouragement to talk to groups or people in order to build trust and form a friendship but I can talk to people and they say I am easy to talk to, fun and very nice. I tried joining clubs and societies but don't get invited to sit beside people or go out with them but they do chat to him. All I get from clubs, societies and seminars is "hey how are you, how are your exams going, ok well I gotta go now, see you later or next year. I have hung with guys from online for certain amount of time and that is so embarrasing as they seem to like everything about me. I went out with people who I didn't meet online but that lasted approx 3-5 months or less and then I had no one and they never explained to became distant and made excuses to not being in my company but they would have a small chat and I love going out.
When I had the depression in 2010 it was proper depression
when I had depression in 2013, it was thinking I am a burden to people and society, am not accepted, all I will get is guys who most of them wanna be with me and some or few wanna date me but don't want that at the moment or they are bad for me cause they have too much baggage for me to handle or could be involved in dangerious activites. Another thought then was that the world may be a better place without me as they won't need to give much social support resources and am not entitled to it anyway and am in the republic of Ireland am sick of having Dyspraxia but having it not confirmed in order to have peace within myself and gain the right supports to help improve my life, the support that a Dyslexic doesn't need.
I have been told by one lecture and one to one for essays that I will have to high grades in order to get any job, after college as they will not accept me. Also have great spatial awareness issues in acting for film class, difficulty in bringing across characters, difficulty being a character without raising my voice like shouting and great difficulty, timing, organising and concentrating on the scenes and my acting performance and he says several times yelling "I told you so many times about blocking - having your back to the camera and if you can't take or following instructions then you will never be an actor".
I appologise for offending to anyone in this message and giving too long of a one.
My main question is if professionals in republic of Ireland can diagnose a 27 year old for Dyspraxia, just incase she may have it coz they only work with young adults and children, then what am I supposed to do then and how can my life go on like this???
It is too stressful, depression and conflicting for me to succeed in anything, I only get so far like for example singing, being on youtube and going to open mics being told am brilliant but nobody considering to take me on as a singer to even get contacts for me. I put up posters, ads and spoke to people and went to many open mics, sang live since 14. I still haven't got there and Sligos got talent music producers say I definately have a career as a blue or jazz singer as am brilliant. They didn't let me through to the next round of the competition though. I have jammed with some people, including buskers and they all say including my family that I am a great singer. As for acting. am told if you screw up you are backlisted - meaning you have to obey rules such as timing, organisation and proper cvs and 100 percent performance etc but he told me that I am a really good actor but have issues with character development. As for writing, I mentioned the barriers than can get in they way. As for my creative writing, people say they are very good and a teacher in creative writing performance of this year said that he lied my film script and that I won't fail it for definite.
Thank you very much for listening and for all your patience and understanding and your great tips.
