Does Dyspraxia and Dyslexia put partners off

[moleyface1991]

Hey,

I recently had the hopes of meeting my first girlfriend but I found myself in a position of getting really awkward around her, I suffer with dyspraxia/dyslexia and struggle with my appearance, day2day living, always seem to get a bit clumsy infront of people and always go red and loose my train of thought, but does this put people off from a partner. I mean what do you look for??
I am a good listener and show respect and support to people, so what do you all think, would you date someone like that??

Just a thought


Chris

[Tom fod]

Hi Chris

Fresh from my own disappointment in the dating 'game', I want to say that the right person will/should not care about these awkward moments and will in doing so boost your confidence so these moments can become less frequent and less pronounced so when they do happen you will be able to light hearted laugh about them together.

I wish you all the best and hope she can see that you are worth it.

[Seeker]

always seem to get a bit clumsy infront of people and always go red and loose my train of thought, but does this put people off from a partner. I mean what do you look for?? Moleyface1991

I freeze and say and do silly things when I become anxious around people. I have had severe panic attacks and anxiety around people my whole life. I was almost completely isolated because of my severe social anxiety. I did however meet someone in spite of this. He just liked me for who I was. He was willing to accept the whole me. I did not know about the dyspraxia at the time although I knew I was struggling with a lot of things. I only discovered the dyspraxia about 3 years ago. Although he accepted I was struggling with some physical and social things he did not really understand or accept the dyspraxia for a long time. He does now though. He now understands and accepts dyspraxia is just a physical disorder like any other and supports me with it. We have been married now for more than 20 years. I am no longer nervous with him at all because I know he is here for good. So there are people who will accept you as you are.

Seeker

[moleyface1991]

Seeker,

Good for you!!:). I just thought what peoples ideas of it were really. For me finding that partner who loves and cares for you no matter is a special thing and you know when you find the one, I honestly believe that, it doesnt bother me at all just liked to hear it from others as well. Interesting on how people with learning difficulties deal with it in thier own relationships

Chris

[Seeker]

There are people out there who will accept your exactly as you are. I think it sometimes helps me to look for people to connect to in different kinds of groups. I have found that when I don't fit in somewhere I tend to keep trying to push for acceptance when those people have just decided I am not their type. But sometimes when I try a group of very people with very different interests and personalities they just accept me right away.

[FAndrews]

women seem to be put off by me, even before they they know i have Dyspraxia never seem to want to give me a chance.

[moleyface1991]

Seeker,

Yeah I think people who share the same interests and stuff that helps a lot, I have a couple of friends who are really into Star Trek, they been together for years.
But them some people are attracted to the complete opposites...

FAandrews,

I read your post and that is really quite sad, im sorry to hear that. I hate people who just decide to rubbish people before they know them. shame on them!!:(

Chris

[Seeker]

F Andrews,

I agree with Chris, shame on them. You come across as quite mature, caring and supportive. I imagine you have a lot to offer people. I irritates me endlessly when people won’t give others a chance.

I have wondered if I seem out place on this forum since I already have found a partner but I was hoping I could offer a little hope from another point of view. I came across this forum when I was looking for help with making friends while having dyspraxia.

My problem is that my dyspraxic symptoms are not severe enough to be immediately visible to others. The symptoms are nearly always mistaken for laziness, lack of self discipline, selfishness and self centeredness, rudeness, weak character, immaturity, arrogance, etc. People are initially attracted to me and then therouy reject me when they decide my struggles to socialize and do basic tasks are due to disrespect for others and not caring about anyone else. It takes a long time for people to work out that I am none of these things. So even though I have not had to struggle to get a partner I certainly understand how it feels to be judged and dismissed by others.

I know it is tempting to give up but please don't. There are people who will see the real you and accept you. Including women.

Chris,

It can also help even more if you can find people who don't judge. Believe it or not, they do exist. Spiritual groups can be a place to try if you are inclined that way, support groups (where they have a physical venue so you meet the people), sometimes people from other cultures living in the country you live in (some other cultures have different ideas about what they look for in friendships.)

Seeker

[Tim G]

If people are put off by you then they are put off by you that's just the way it goes - and it probably wouldn't work anyway. However it does not mean all hope is not lost - there are people out there that will give you a chance, if they do they are probably going to understand and warm to you more.

I think the dating game can really be harsh as people are looking for one thing and tend not to be open minded so will more easily judge. A better approach is find common interests, get to know people as friends and then see where it goes - its much more open minded and more wholesome then just dating.

[moleyface1991]

Tim G

I agree, I think finding that link or common ground then being able to develop that into a friendship and then to romance and love is much better than trying to jump straight in.

Chris

[FAndrews]

that does make more sense, you go to have some common ground anyway. anyways got to keep on trying, and if something doesn't work try something else.

[paulo]

just need to find the right person.

" i can bogey !
yes i can bogey,
but i need a certain soul,
i can bogey
yes i can bogey,
all night looong!"

[FAndrews]

don't you mean boogey?

Seeker: yeah my Dyspraxia effects me in the same subtle ways (poor self-discipline, easily lose focus, social awkwardness etc) which can be frustrating (very few of my friends know i have it actually) and thanks for the encouragement, just got to keep trying.

[paulo]

ah yes sorry Boogey, not bogey LOL: thanks for correcting my dyslexic spelling

[FAndrews]

no worries there mate just a kind of funny error, didn't mean to offend.