What chance did I stand? or am I just lazy?

[pappleyard]

I ask because People have always said that because I am clearly bright I must be lazy. In a way if I was not too bright maybe I wouldn't get so much abuse? But I feel that being dyspraxic and dyslexic along with being abused and having no friends at all throughout my life together with being kicked out of home when I was 15 left me with no chance in life. It was just isolation mixed with insults about having red hair or smelling funny or being lazy. To top it off to look at me I look 100% normal.

My wife says I work maybe too hard and risk hurting myself but she gets upset sometimes when people keep on insulting me and she then starts to question her own judgement.

Makes me wonder, is it all in my own head and I'm just making up excuses?

[Jim]

Makes me wonder, is it all in my own head and I'm just making up excuses?

It sometimes feels like that doesn't it?. And it's easy to get convinced of it. But it really honestly isn't so.

[Tom fod]

Hi and welcome to the forums (or fora)

I cannot believe you are lazy. I imagine you are quite hard on yourself too as you no doubt have to work harder to achieve things that other people seem to do with little or no effort and in the case of the worst of such people criticise and belittle you for your own efforts.

Your wife is right you do need to be careful about not hurting yourself through working too hard. Who are these people who are insulting you and are you able to shut them out in some way?

It makes me sad and angry to read of your experiences as sadly this sort of thing affects many of us to different degrees. I hope spending some time here can help you to start feeling better about yourself.

[pappleyard]

They area only people who don't know me too well or my wife's relatives when they are a bit tipsy. Her relatives tend to earn quite a lot and I don't, so I think being a housekeeper and looking after our 3 year old isn't enough for them. I have graduated with a degree in Visual Arts last September and am not pushing my plan to start a portrait business until my daughter starts school. But then business planning and advertising just confuses me anyway.

Also people see my wife working really hard and doing well and wonder why I am not the same.

[Tom fod]

Hi again

For those who don't know you but are all too ready to judge; Their opinions aren't based on a proper picture so do try and dismiss them as invalid and not worth being bothered by. I appreciate that is so much easier said than done! Do try though.

Society seems far too geared to thinking money equals success and If you're not making a great deal you're a failure. Yes it comes in very useful for oiling the wheels but it can't necessarily bring contentment. I'm visually impaired so have to use the bus and I hate the thought of some people thinking I'm a failure due to their own skewed viewpoint of what is expected/'normal'.

I think your decision to concentrate on looking after your daughter until she goes to school is good and right. Try not to let other peoples' more 'traditional' viewpoints affect the effort you put in. Sorry I can't advise on business plans/advertising but maybe other members can suggest ideas to consider. Whatever they are, at the end of the day they need to be ideas that will work for you.

We salute you 8-)

[screengreen]

This comes in part down to dyspraxia, but I think more generally under valuing child care, I always tell people I have 2 jobs, and one full time but unpaid I think people are still suprised that I view looking after my daughter (now 9) I have only worked 22.5 hours or less since she was born and have no intention of increasing that until she's at secondary school at least.