Dyspraxic Adults

Hey There!!:)

My name is Chris and I am from Swindon in Wiltshire, My family consists of me, my parents, two brothers and my sister. I am unemployed, love music, soaps, bubble baths and only fools and horses

I was diagnosed with Dyspraxia when I was 17 in January 2009. It came as a massive weight off my mind because I like I am sure like most of you, been always aware that I was different to everyone else. My main reason for joining this website was that I feel that no one in my family really understands what I go through on a daily basis. It can be hard to explain myself to them and I feel that by talking to you guys on here it may help me in someway or another.

Like I mentioned I am currently unemployed, but I do do a afternoon work of volunteering at Sue Ryder and feel that it has benefited me throughout the months, However questions have arisen in me about what would suit me as I feel less that satisfactory in my life, I have no real 'great' idealologies that comes in deciding what I want to do in my life, unlike my own siblings, I dont really feel I have many skills, yeah, I like music, tv, eating (lol) but that may not be good enought to go down a career.

I wasnt what I call academic, yes I did do my best at School and College, but I never had any real idea where I wanted to go, I hated thinking about my future because I never really felt like I was worth anything? does that make sense? I mean, yeah my parents always said/say I could/can achieve anything, if I put my mind to it , but I never really felt like I could, my brothers and my friends didnt really give me much encouragement, I was bullied at school and spent my time going into my shelll, struggling to come out just incase the current bully would tell me I was thick, or say that I was a spastic idiot or worse hit me round the head and push me down the stairs.

The first time I ever felt worth anything was when I was 11 in October 2004 and I auditioned and got into the Chamber Choir at school, I didnt tell anyone in the family I was going to audition, just In case i didnt get in, but luckily I did get in and ran home afterwards told my brother, the first family person I saw, and he shattered my dream in one simple world 'So'. That moment where I felt I found something that I could really get my teeth into and that thing where anything seemed possible was slashed from my heart, it was humiliating because he could tell how over the moon I was, I felt cold and angry because it was something I never thought would happen. Soon afterwards my parents got home and I told them and they, like me was ecstastic, I performed in the local church, the school concerts and the local music competions as part of the choir for five years, but my brothers didnt care and in truth for them to say 'well done' or 'congratulations' they just didnt bother and I felt like they didnt care. My younger sister followed in my seat and joined the normal choir and I thoroughly enjoyed performing, it was the best part of school, but after I left I stopped and miss it terribly.

Til now I still havent found that thing or skill that gives me that edge, that soul that my family would be proud to call me part of my family.

I think the other reason I joined here is that I dont have many friends, yeah facebook I got a good load of people I knew from school, but in real life I can name only two of them I see regularly. I would like to meet someone who knows the way my brain works and understands the struggles and the enormity of being different can be.

I look forward in talking to you all and cant wait to get started.

Thanks for the time in reading this post

Chris

Hi Chris

First of all, I would like to welcome you to the forum and I'm positive you'll find it very interesting and will be able to make friends with likeminded people and be able to share stories a lot of us can relate too and understand.

Everything you've described about how Dyspraxia affects your life and how it's difficult for your family to understand, I can understand that, I wouldn't wish on anyone to have this condition but having Dyspraxia does play a factor into making us more genuine, considerate, understanding and empathtic human beings which are so hard to find in people these days. I haven't been officaly diagnosed but when someone mentioned it to me after I finished college a few years ago, I looked it up online and it ticked so many boxes and was making a lot of sense, what a massive relief it was for me as I was questioning a lot about what was different about me and why I was getting bullied so much for the way I was.

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and sending best wishes for a very Happy New Year!

Josh

Hi Chris

Welcome to the forums (or fora)

It's massively difficult for people to understand and sometimes family members can be especially bad when they're vying for attention and being very much 'me me me' with no thought for you. The most important part is what it means to you personally. Please don't be put off by others indifference. I suffered some bullying and emotional abuse from some people who I thought were my friends. It was not nice and your experiences sound comparatively worse.

I really struggled with finding and getting into work too. The whole 'no real previous experience', low self esteem and reliance on public transport made it difficult for me. After college I ended up doing an NVQ in Business Administration while I looked for work. My first job was part time admin work for the local council but that was just short term and a long time in coming. Anyway less of me. Would working in a music shop or even being a singing coach be an option to consider?

Are there any adult choirs/singing groups you could join in your area? It's worth a look as it could quite likely help you socially on various levels. I do appreciate that the initial fear to put yourself out there is often a barrier but worth a look/asking around/trawling the web for local groups to see if there's anything you weren't aware of?

Hope my response is in some way helpful. You're among friends here.

Hey Chris, hope you like it here.

Darn your brother! I know how one small word of negativity can bring down a happy mood so much. You should try and ignore such insensitive remarks because they're obviously stupid, nasty, unnecessary...

You're certainly among more like-minded people here.

Hi Tom, Josh And Moot,

From reading your replies it feels so amazing to know that I am not alone. I still feel very confused in myself and not sure whether I really belong in certain situations but, your kind words of encouragement and positivity has been inspiring and I feel blessed to know that I have people on here who understand and sympathise in my struggles.

Tom,
Thanks for your post. My mother in particular does often make reference to the fact that I am much more kind natured, considerate and empathetic to others and will often say that I shouldnt let my brothers get me down, unfourtunatley when your the youngest of three brothers it is a natural hope or maybe desire to want to impress and be liked by the, recently I asked my dad what he felt about my singing experience and he kindly made a point in saying that I was the only one of the three boys to even have extra curricular activity at school and that was really amazing to hear him say he was proud of me because of it. I would like to say that on your own story resonates so much with me, when I was diagnosed it felt like a massive relief because for years it was the continual drone of what is wrong with me, why am I so different, the fact that we can say we have this condition is really important and justifys so much in terms of academic, we have to stay true to who we are and I like the fact that we have the forum to discuss that.

Josh,
Thanks for your post, the problems that I have had with my siblings I think comes from the fact that we are so unalike. When you grow up tastes change, imagery changes and beliefs and ideas changes, unless they live in my head they will never know, I often feel like I am walking around with a wierd frost in my head. I have grown to realise that our differences dont matter, despire thier unsympathy they are still my brothers and I know that they do care, I am different in so many ways to them but we have each other and although emotionally I can sometimes be very sad, I know ignorance is the only thing that is wrong, Maybe in 10 - 20 years when he has kids he will see that people are different.
The work situation is weighing heavily on my mind but I have found ways to release the pressure and write blogs and documents saying how I really feel. I still have no idea wherre to go and to be honest just as long as I can physically still sing I dont need to do it as a career, ill be singing anyway despite having a job. My mum often tells me to look for admin/ data entry jobs as I have a Diploma in Digital Application Level 2, but that is really beneficial to me because I have had conversations with people/agencies saying that because of the little real work experience it is useless, meaning that the year I spent doing that, probaly was all for nothing. I know my mum also thinks the caring profession would be a good idea, but I fear that doing that will be too much pressure, the fact that I would be responsible for others scares me, I just need a job where I can feel useful but still enjoy lol.

Moot,
Thanks for the post, I am thankful to be able to know that there are people out there who gets it and others that dont. I just hope that people who dont will never get to a point where they feel a part of them is being stamped and negativised.

Chris

Hi Chris. Welcome to the forum. I also volunteer in a charity shop. I've never had a paid job and I'm nearly 30.

Hey Creative,

No way. Your kidding me?? How do you survive/cope? Well if you sign on Ive only been doing it couple of years and I cant stand it, you must have have a very calm nature to cope with them!!

Chris

Hi moleyface1991,

welcome to the forum, you say you enjoyed acting, and stuff, have you thought about going to College to do a course for stage, and Acting?

and you said you enjoy music, have you tried another 2 courses on a similar theme, which is Music Technology, and Sound, and Recording Engineering, as a few ideas?

Music Technology kind of works with video footage, as in like creating music to go with a scene, or mood, kind of like in a film, or tv.

Sound Recording, it is kind of the same as Music Technology, but it is more as in like live instruments, and where best place, and what types of microphones to use are, with a bit of music technology thrown in.

just a few ideas, but I would recommend the Music Technology (kind of a downside was the group wasn't so sociable, but there again neither was I!!), and Sound Recording, it was more interactive working with others more than working by yourself. both courses were enjoyable.

also had like a swap around during music technology, and quite a number of people said they wished they had done the music technology course, instead of doing the acting course, so might be worth the try doing all 3. it certainly won't hurt if you enjoy all 3. plus extra qualifications.

although be aware you might end up using the dreaded Macintosh computers!! lol

once you done that then try the local hospital radio or something to volunteer, as they always need people. and give that a try. I am not sure of what qualifications they need, but it is worth the shot.

Hi Chris,

I'm on benefits and have been for years. I get DLA and ESA.

Hey Creative,

Oh right at least you get some money coming through. I get JSA. Just gets annoying because of all the gloomy faces lol.

Hey Shadwell,

I have thought about it but I just see it as a hobby. I dont see it as a career, plus there is the money issue, in the local colleges they only cut prices on a number of courses if your on JSA etc, I know they do evening classes/ meets just for fun so might do that. I have thought about counselling courses as well or maybe something in psychology because I did do that at GCSE and would like to know more about it.

Chris