Lack of determination
Posted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 12:50 pm
I'm curious as to whether this is a familiar trait of other dyspraxics. (This short bit of backstory should be relevant.) Through my life I've never been very clever and began to know not to expect much from myself. Even if I felt I was trying hard at work, for example at uni, I would still end up with not a very high grade, an so on ('why do I even bother?' I think). Anywho, after again underachieving at uni I was put off furthering to work what I'd been studying and have been back to some jobs I could have done without a degree
I feel like I should have done more to get the best out of my career success, to get out of the old bore of same old cycle that gives me no mind stimulation. I feel so envious of those around me doing so well. Yet I feel I just seem to lack that ambitious, determined streak that so many other people have. It just doesn't feel natural to me. Sure, I can fantasise of being in a better position in life, but any more than that it's just not happening.
You might be thinking, moreorless, LAZY. Well I cannot deny I have got into a very lazy way of life, probably again due to lack of feeling I can really achieve? But anyway, yes, some of it is probably a mind used to being lazy, but I don't think that's the whole of it, because less motivated people have suddenly had a spark light up in their brain and have been able to make something of themselves.
So yeah, basically I'm wondering if any one else finds they lack the drive, the determination, the ambition and passion (whatever your preferred term!) to really grab at life to the fullest. Maybe it's just my mind closed itself long ago.
I feel like I should have done more to get the best out of my career success, to get out of the old bore of same old cycle that gives me no mind stimulation. I feel so envious of those around me doing so well. Yet I feel I just seem to lack that ambitious, determined streak that so many other people have. It just doesn't feel natural to me. Sure, I can fantasise of being in a better position in life, but any more than that it's just not happening.
You might be thinking, moreorless, LAZY. Well I cannot deny I have got into a very lazy way of life, probably again due to lack of feeling I can really achieve? But anyway, yes, some of it is probably a mind used to being lazy, but I don't think that's the whole of it, because less motivated people have suddenly had a spark light up in their brain and have been able to make something of themselves.
So yeah, basically I'm wondering if any one else finds they lack the drive, the determination, the ambition and passion (whatever your preferred term!) to really grab at life to the fullest. Maybe it's just my mind closed itself long ago.