Appearing confident

[LGC2108]

I received feedback from a job interview, saying that I was unsuccessful because I did not have the "strong social qualities" needed for the role, and that my body language and reduced eye contact suggested that I was not comfortable. Does anyone have any advice for how I can appear more confident in interviews.

[chrisjc]

I find the best way is just to fake it, look people in the eyes (with a firm handshake, but only with people who look like they can take it! Not women generally), make random conversation with people, be slightly outward and take advantage of that diverse brain thingy we are blessed with. Try and keep open body language, like not crossing things like arms and legs, don't make barriers between you and those around you, like covering your mouth. Pretend you have big balls (metaphorically speaking). I know it's difficult, but you're up to the job. Watch yourself for those signs and correct them when you realise. Fake it long enough and it comes real. I managed to get a well paid job of a good interview, but alas I hated the place and only lasted 3 months, but at least I got the job! I've come from being a social retard to being a social animal. Trust in yourself! Hope this helps and feel free to ask any questions.

[Jim]

I would suggest preparing yourself for the interview in a way that enables you to feel confident. Trying to appear confident when you are not confident is a mammoth task.

Do as much research into the employer and role as you can so you can arm yourself with information to base your answers on. Try not to go into an interview "blind" as it were.

Chris is correct in saying that open body language and eye contact are essential as these are signs of confidence and effective communication. However this is not an act, this comes from feeling confident and I would urge you to not try and "fake" it.

[screengreen]

Hi there,
A tip that I was given about 20 years ago [ before being diagnosed as dyspraxic] when I was still very shy and would either not do eye contact or stare people silly is to look at the tip of a person's nose as this fools them into thinking you are giving just enough eye contact .... I don't use it now because I think I've learned that bit automatically but it gives you a start... also you could try practising with friends and relatives if they are willing its a bit false but it gives you an opportunity to get some honest feed back.. hope this is helpful.

[Jules]

I get this too, people mistake my speaking and moving difficulties for nerves, good luck.

[ssuma]

I received feedback from a job interview, saying that I was unsuccessful because I did not have the "strong social qualities" needed for the role, and that my body language and reduced eye contact suggested that I was not comfortable. Does anyone have any advice for how I can appear more confident in interviews.

Like what others say here, I think the best way is to fake it.

Remember, as dyspraxics, we have much harder time than others out there to present, so if you did something that is embarrassing, reminds yourself it is okay and just keep doing what you are doing. Reminds yourself if the interviewer is in your boots, he/she would not last seconds. Consequently, you are already much better than him/her. Hence, to be comfortable is to accept your dyspraxic self, be natural and thick-skinned, take chances and don't be bother by mistakes, in the same time, be vigilant and careful that you have a handicap with dyspraxia and that you must try your best to cover whatever disadvantages it has on you with the interview at the moment when the interview is going on.

Also, everyone show their confidence differently. You need to find a way and style to show your confidence that you feels comfortable with.