STRUGGLING A BIT TODAY

[nickye]

I don't like to sound negative but I'm struggling a bit at the moment. After years of always feeling there was something wrong, that I found certain things difficult, it all rang a bell when I found about dyspraxia. I was diagnosed last week (just waiting for the full report) and I was on a real high on the day - finally I have an answer!

But now I'm feeling quite down and angry about things. I know this is going to sound quite self-pitying (so apologies ) but when I try to explain people (even some of my close friends and family) they don't really understand and say things like"oh well we all struggle with things" (which is true - but when you struggle to get out of the house in the morning and just do everyday things it's so tiring) and "you just need to play to your strengths". I know they mean well, but they don't understand just how much this has always impacted on my life. I feel I've really had to fight to get a diagnosis, and not be told it's depression/anxiety (which is is, but this has lessened since finding out about the dyspraxia.

I feel quite angry that even when I tell people they still think I'm being a bit negative and that if I thought more positively I'd get on better. It's hard to feel positive when people pick on you for doing things slowly!

When I had my test they said I had a very IQ score for reading/writing/spelling, but when it came to some of the visual perception and processing of instructions I was way below average (although I didn't think I'd done too badly!!) Still, it explains why my husband says "You can read what's on the tin, but you can't open it!" (That was before I got my brilliant Magican tin opener though!) This to me explains an awful lot about my life - and although I'm grateful to have the high IQ in the reading/writing the other stuff has held me back so much and made me feel so stupid.

Sorry for the rant - I usually come on here trying to encourage other people, but I feel a bit down about it (in fact I could scream and shout, but I won't!) I think in the long run this will be a big positive thing for my life, perhaps it's just hard because I've had to wait until I'm 44 to understand all this!

Any advice please from anybody further down the line? How do I explain to people that this is a genuine difficulty, and I'm not just being negative?

Thanks everyone for all your posts.
Nicky

[Shadwell]

well 6 years on Nicky, since finding out about my diagnosis, it still feels like banging my head against a brick wall every day with the whole world, and 99% of them all say it is depression talking.

I don't know why but doctors etc. seem too quick to jump on the depression band wagon rather than what the underlying cause is.

especially when it is not depression, the only depression is from the so called medical people saying it is depression!! I think because it is so supposedly treatable by tablets, then it costs the NHS less, sort of get them on tablets for a few weeks, then a few weeks more, then a few weeks more then you will disappear from the system. rather than get the proper attention and help.

like the Neurologist I went to see a couple of weeks ago. you got depression, your family are all lazy, stop wasting my time. those were either what his words were, or the impression the whole way through the medical exam.

[Snave]

I know exactly what you mean even down to after bein diagnosed I thought at last I know why my life has been the way it has and now I can change my direction but I'm also struggling. I was diagnosed in jan this year for dyspraxia and feb for dyslexia and my friends and work colleagues really don't get what a big deal it is,it's very frustrating! Bein diagnosed at 47 is also very frustrating,finding it hard to get head around it....I too don't know how to explain to friends what it means,even close 'mates'don't get it...
Lyndon

[Sugar Kitten]

I recently realized I've had Dyspraxia my whole life, I am a 25 year old male. It is a great feeling when you suddenly see how all the symptoms and the neurology makes sense of all the chaos and struggle which we all endure, just knowing why I am forgetful and disorganized has helped me now I try even harder. I was afraid it was going to give me an excuse to fall into bad habits but its actually done the opposite.

I have been figuring out ways to explain it to people. I usually use the teacup analogy.

When I hold up a teacup full of tea, it trembles unusually and I tell them to hold it, and then they hold it firm. Then I explain that reaction is a result of neurons in the brain creating a strong link, and even though I have muscle in my hand enough to support the weight of the cup, the neurons in my brain don't have strong links established so it makes it difficult to carry out motor skill tasks, and also affects speech which is a complex motor skill task. As for the forgetfulness and disorganization I explain that the same neurological weaknesses which prevent me from holding a cup by the handle properly also affects memory and recognition.

So when I receive the information it does not form a strong enough link to support the information unless it is repeated or preferably written down! Our minds are the hand trying to hold the cup full of information which isn't stable so it shakes about and often some gets lost in the process.

I've discovered we can strengthen the neurological weaknesses through repetition. Whatever it is your weakness or something that is painful to do or don't like to do, should be done more often and then it is easier next time, trust me!

I hope that may help people explain to others what is happening in their brains to cause this behavior other people may consider as odd but is completely normal for us, and for people who seems to blow it off or fail to comprehend the full impact of Dyspraxia.

[nickye]

Thanks so much for the replies - although I'm sorry to hear other people have the same problems, it does really help. It is frustrating - I think when I feel up to it, I'm going to try to educate people about it. I find this frustration is actually worse than the problem itself!

I like the teacup idea, that sounds really good. I know what you mean about repitition. In fact I can often do practical things reasonably well if they are repetitive, it's when I have to think on my feet, and people ask me to do several things at once. It then appears I'm being lazy or day-dreaming when actually I'm trying to process the information.

I'm very glad I've got the diagnosis though, becaue even if other people dont' understand it certainly helps me understand why I struggle with certain things. It has also made me more understanding of other people.

Luckily I love writing, so I find that writing down my experiences is good therapy.

Good luck to everybody. Hang on in there. I'm sure one day it'll be taken seriously. A lot of conditions start off like this, that people don't take them seriously. when you think how complex the brain is, it's not surprising people have these problems.

Thanks again and good luck
Nicky

[Catwoman42]

I was reall struggling at work yesterday. I had to photocopy 2 copies of a huge document, some of it was single sided, some double sided. I must have spent an hour and a half collating the damn thing as the photocopier jammed and I had to restart twice. Eventually i told my very inderstanding boss who helped. But it was like my brain was full of fog! I then got Monday's work mixed up with Wednesday's. Aaaargh. My head was full of fog all day, so I understand entirely.

[tara]

I was real struggling at work yesterday. I had to photocopy 2 copies of a huge document, some of it was single sided, some double sided. I must have spent an hour and a half collating the damn thing as the photocopier jammed and I had to restart twice. Eventually i told my very understanding boss who helped. But it was like my brain was full of fog! I then got Monday's work mixed up with Wednesday's. Aaaargh. My head was full of fog all day, so I understand entirely.

Its so tough!!!! I was diagnosed about a month ago and realising more and more my guilt about everything in my life was linked to Dyspraxia... I let people treat me like **** just because I did not know what was going on with me... Scared now but starting to stand up for myself... its lonely and scary ......

Feel for you guys and glad you have a good boss whom is understanding xxxxxxxx