Moving out

[jimmy87notts]

Im 25, still living with my mum and dad in a new place i absolutly hate and feeling very isolated.

I want to move back down to Nottingham where my friends are but i am petrified of not being able to make it on my own. I can cook and clean but for me its the financial side. Ive got no discernable qualifications and i seem to only be able to get minimum wage jobs that dont make ends meet. Ive got career ambitions but its getting into them thats the difficult thing, Ive had enough of people saying i should be in the " big wide world on my own" when they have no idea what its like living with this disability.

Im so scared of effectivly being that poor i wont ever be able to do it but i dont want to still be 40 and living in my mum and dads house.

I do know i could do it if i moved in with someone else e.g a boyfriend because the responcibilities would be halved

Im sure most of you have come across this.

[AlleyCat]

Yes- I'm currently experiencing this myself! I'd actually been living away from home, but was pressurised into returning to live back with my parents because they no longer wanted to help me out with my rent. I don't get on with them that well (mainly because they have never wanted to understand what it's like having dyspraxia), but the worst part of it is that I've moved back to a part of the country which is really crap for jobs. For a long time, it's been difficult to get any sort of job, but it's practically impossible to get a good job in this area. I've had full time work elsewhere in the country, but was bullied out of my last job by an ignorant headteacher. I wish I could be more positive, as of course we want what everyone else wants- our own home, a career, marriage/life partner and possibly children. However, until there is a huge increase in awareness of dyspraxia, particularly amongst employers, many of us will struggle and unfortunately it's all down to money! I really wish money wasn't so important, but the truth remains that if you don't have much money, you will really struggle to be able to do what you want.

[Jim]

Money is only part of the problem. Attitudes are probably a far bigger concern in that people aren't aware of Dyspraxia, have little idea of what it is and basically don't take it very seriously.

However... If you have the opportunity to "fly the nest" do try to do it. Gaining independence can be a hugely significant thing and you may well cope far better than you think.

[Shadwell]

you really need to know whether to rent your own place or share a house. then you need to know is it a housing association or private. if private you could end up paying that persons share of bills if they move out. and if the only person there then you could end up paying the whole lot by yourself.

housing association is the best route for a first timer. as they will say something like give us something like £7 if not working, and £45 if you are. then with that then all the bills are covered by them usually like water, gas, electric, council tax, and your rent.

if you go private, then there is a high chance that none of these are included in the price. so you need to speak to the landloard to find out what the advantages are. also if the water is on a metre as if it is, and everyone uses very little, then you can get away with paying something like £20 a month, but if someone uses a lot then you could end up having to pay more for their share.

if you get a flat, very unlikely, then it does cost more to live by yourself.

atm my bills are as follows for not working.

about £10 a month when the council tax starts in Wales in April
about £35 a month Electric
about £75 a month for Gas
about £50 a month for phoneline, broadband and calls to landlines in the uk. excluding mobiles, and premium rate nunbers, you could get away with a standard package which is about £20 a month. or do like I did, and use a mobile for years, plus possibly able to get away with 3 networks offer of £15 a month for unlimited broadband. not sure as I haven't tried tethering my pc to my mobile, but I know you can with a laptop, and a mobile.
about £20 a month for water
my rent is covered by the council.

[scififreak1992]

I am 21 and am desperate to move out of my Mums. My Dad left a decade ago, my little brother has moved 3 times in the last year and has a son and stepson and seems on the surface to have it made for himself. They both are Aspergers and needed out of my Mum's controlling ways but since they've gone she's putting so much more pressure on me (they are both still in the same village, so its not like they're free entirely. They have enough control over their lives to stop them being loud and shouty though so its a blessing). I have to pay more rent since she is partially disabled and can't work full time. She recently decided that since my room wasn't tidy then she'd move it all round like she did when I was little. I am an adult and she moved all my things. I actually cried when I saw it all moved since I the control that I thought I'd been granted had been taken away from me. She still doesn't understand the way I felt or why I shouted at her, which is sad because she's one of my best friends.

I felt so childish and small but it just proves that I need to move out.

My hours at work have been halfed slowly in the last year and for the last 6 months I have been relying on borrowing from my Dad to stop me getting into unauthorised overdrafts. I can't really afford to be living at home so I really can't afford living alone. I was going to apply for a housing scheme thing but I got all weepy and shaky and uncomfortable when applying and have been avoiding it since. Its the same feeling that I get when I apply for other jobs and I don't like it at all.