Dyspraxic Adults

ive had a bf for 8 years, and been engaged for three, but recently he found out that i cheated on him

he kicked me out of the home we shared and packed my stuff

after reading some of the posts here, i was seeking the attention i didnt think he was giving me

is there anyway i prove to him that he means everything to me and dispite everything i do love him, want and need him back cos hes my everything?

Hmm well who knows?

But you'll have to accept that to cheat was a extremely selfish thing to have done and you hurt his feelings greatly.

I'd let him have his space for a while, so he can calm down and maybe look at things more rationally. Maybe then you can go forward.

thanks jim

how long should i give him before getting in touch?

Long enough for him to get to grips with what happened and decide what he wants. I guess you should know best. but can you speak to a mutual friend about it all? Or could you write a letter?

Sorry can't advise any more than that and hope situation sorts itself out for best. I imagine it will not be easy.

Tom

I think a letter is a brilliant idea, because it is more likely to be read. For instance phone calls may well be ignored, hung up etc.

Get help from a close friend if you struggle with writing.

This is quite a personal thing and hard to give advice on espshlie when I dont know any more about the relationship then what you have written.

I think really the thing to do is to give him and yourself time and think about things and what has happoned etc and why then try and talk to him about how you feel and what you did etc and what you want now.

Unforanlty dont think it will solve everything or make it better as he may just not want to know any more - this is somthing to deal with if and when it happens.

I am no expert and don't know your situation but thats all I can say really.

Good luck and all the best

maybe once you have had time and space you could possibly try and arrange to meet up maybe go for a coffee or something so that you can talk. Just try not to put too much pressure on him but if it does not work out im sure that you will find someone one day.

There is always a chance you two will get back together, but more detail on your situation would be useful;

1. How long ago did you cheat on him and was it just the once?
2. Why did you cheat on him- was it simply because you wanted attention or are there more fundamental problems in the relationship?
3. How did he find out that you cheated on him- did you tell him or did he find out another way?
4. Who did you cheat on him with and was this individual close or known to him in any way?
5. Are you telling the whole truth or are you still hiding things even now?

My advice/thoughts;
1. However hard it might be, you need to be super honest and very good in communication if you really value this relationship. There is no point in trying to get him back if you're still not ready to genuinely open up about things.
2. Even if you get back together, the road will be very rocky for a long time. It takes a long time to move on from things like this, and he's gonna want answers and may still feel bad about things even in over a years time. Can you really handle going through all this rockyness to get your relationship back on track or will you just become weak and cheat again or become unstable and argue with him etc?

You need to become very strong very quickly if you want things to work out- you need to prove in his eyes things can change, that you can change, that you together as a couple have a future. Surviving cheating in a relationship is very hard on both partners, it takes an awful lot of strength to get through it.

On the other hand, sometimes cheating is symptomatic that the relationship or you as a couple are fundamentally wrong/unsuited to each other and that the cheating came towards the end of a relationship that was destined to fail. It takes more than love to make a relationship work.

Minus all this chaos, what do you really want in life?