I'll share abit...
I've dealt with this for my entire life. I was a delayed walker, my parents tell me that when I learned to walk, i took a few steps then I plopped back down on my bum and seemed to forget what I just learnt. My parents had to carry me arround for 9 more months. I'm not sure if my words were delayed too. I took this to be either i was an incredlibly lazy baby, or smart (figuring why walk if they'll carry me). I never put two and two together until recently.
In elementry school I was given an occupatental therapist who would pull me out of class and make me tie my shoes, pick up pennies, draw, write and fasten buttons. She kept telling me I was slow compared to everyone else, I didn't understand what was wrong with me and I was incredibly frustrated and gained a very low self-esteem. Eventually she kinda just gave up on me and told me "you'll always be behind everyone else in what you do". I thought this was really truamatic, especially since I was in grade 6. All throughout elementry school I was given so many medical tests to see if this was nuerological, or spine related. They couldn't figure out was causing it (i was given CAT and MRI scans). I was even given a hearing test because I used to have a really weird sensitivity to the sound of forks, knives and spoons being thrown or even placed on the table, for the longest time when I heard that sound I would tighten up and clench my teeth, and sometimes cover my ears. I still clench my teeth... but it's not as bad. They decided my problem wasn't hearing related. Before my therapist gave up on me, she gave me a special knife to use to cut food with since I couldn't cut. (I still can't cut meat, my boyfriend is incredibly supportive and does this for me).I wwas also given a typewritter type thing to write all my assignments on because I was messy writter, given pencil grips and wrist gaurds. I started avioding so much to do with PE or Anything that would "expose" my problem. So needless to say, I was kinda a geek. Akward socially and I was quiet, really quiet. Im still a soft speaker but i've grown out of my shell.
Eventually when I got to highschool I refused to acknowledge I had a problem, I honestly started thinking this was all in my head! I still avioded alot.. I was so scared to start driving, it took along time remember simple things because it all felt complex. Eventually I learned, bought my own car and I love driving now... as long as I know where i'm going beforehand. I'm so horrible at remembering directions ( I have to drive somewhere god knows how many times before I have Any idea of where I am) I drive Automatic. I'm lost on standards.
I was so scared to start my job cashiering, my first job, having to pick up change absoulty frighented me. (i didn't work there long) I have had jobs in life, I'm back to Cashiering this time I'm not so scared of the cons, as I am of people noticing i'm different. I find that when job searching or advancing that I actually limit and restrict what jobs I go for, alot i don't think I could ever do. I am going to college in september for Veternary Assistant, but I'm so scared too. I'm hoping that a doctors diagnosis will make this easier to talk to my school and my work of my issues.
One of the biggest obstacles for me is my hands, I'm left handed and I don't have much muscle tone as it, but my right hand is barely usable, i feel useless with it. When I move my fingers on my right hand, the left hand imitates the excat same movement, like the message signals in my brain right hand to move independantly is damaged or doesn't exsist? because I can move my left fingers independantly, as a result I ball up my right fist so people don't notice.
Anyways I know this was long, but i figured I'd share abit about my life.
I really just wanted to say thank you!! for the past few years I've tried to do countless research to find out what is going on with me, and the only information I could find was this problem in children, which got me down because I'm an adult and I never just "grew out of it". I thought the best course of action was to see a psyhcologist because I thought this was a psychological issue where maybe I was just regressing. I spent my whole life feeling like I wasn't normal, but I wasn't special needs like I was somewhere in the middle, somewhere that noone else was. I thought I was the only dealing with this, and have spent many countless night sleepless worried about really stupid things that everyone else takes for granted for the next day.
I see after finally finding info of Dyspraxia that this is real and other people had it. I wish you knew how happy I was when I found this page, or when I saw youtube videos of real people.. I actually cried alittle.. After 26 years I might finally have an answer,and that I nolonger feel in the dark. I used to think "why should I talk to a doctor about this now if they couldn't out what was wrong with me when I was 5!" but now I see I should bring Dysparxia up with my doctor.
