Do you have/want children?

[Cheetarah]

Does dyspraxia affect your plans to have children or the size of your family?

If you have children of your own, in which ways do you think you find it more difficult than most parents?

Are your children dyspraxic or do they have another condition e.g. adhd, aspergers?

[Cheetarah]

Does dyspraxia affect your plans to have children or the size of your family?


I'd like to have children, but have none at the age of thirty-one. Dyspraxia has made it harder for me to meet a life partner and I'm on my own, I don't have a steady income so I couldn't possibly bring a child into my life right now. I want to be with someone for at least five years before even thinking about getting pregnant, so that we can get to know one another. I've lived with someone in a longterm relationship before, that was plenty enough challenge on it's own and I'd want any children to live in a household as stable as the one I grew up in. I worry about my future abilities as a mum, and I'd want my children to have everything I have and more. Yet the vast majority of people seem to just flow into having children as a matter of course, no matter how awful their situation is. I see people suffering from debilitating illnesses or who fell on bad times with money and they all seem to have ended up with kids one way or another. I want my children to have a basically decent life from the beginning onwards.

If you have children of your own, in which ways do you think you find it more difficult than most parents?

Obviously I wouldn't know yet but I've had significant difficulty looking after children in the past. Although I'm told I'm good with kids in general and have got three children to bed night after night when a previous nanny couldn't I can only pick up children under six or seven, have difficulty not leaving scissors, irons around in the middle of an activity and am easily overwhelmed to name but a few challenges. However I have to admit I find nothing so fulfilling.

Are your children dyspraxic or do they have another condition e.g. adhd, aspergers?
Actually that's not a problem to me. They'd have as much value and right to life as the next person and they'd have the benefit of my experience as a dyspraxic person. I'd be sure to get them tested out as soon asd possible.

[indigo doll]

Does dyspraxia affect your plans to have children or the size of your family?


that's a good question. i went into motherhood without actually knowing i had it. in some ways, dyspraxia has been a bonus- i am more flexible and better at coping with not coping than other mothers i have encountered. i have been more confident about doing things my own way rather than applying myself to a rote script- gina ford wouldn't have lasted long in my house, for example. i am a single mum and manage, and i have not discounted having more children should the right occasion arise. emphasis on "right".

If you have children of your own, in which ways do you think you find it more difficult than most parents?

when you have struggled to look after yourself, looking after someone else is obviously even more of a stretch... the organisational aspects have been torturous! but again, i've coped and got better at coping because i had to. i wish for my children's sake that my temper was a little better sometimes, but for the most part we have fun.

Are your children dyspraxic or do they have another condition e.g. adhd, aspergers?

one is dyspraxic, one is possibly dyspraxic/ aspergers/ adhd (yet to be diagnosed).

hope this helps, etc.

[Liz944]

I have no intention of having children, nothing to do with my dyspraxia. Just cant stand kids.... they drive me round the bend....

[Cobnotroll]

I'd love to have kids, one day. Although if they were Dyspraxic, I'd feel really guilty about it. It's hard to explain why, I suppose I just wouldn't want them to have to face the same problems as kids that I did.

[Pooky]

Not got any yet - but plan to in the future. I worry about dropping them as babies.

[indigo doll]

I'd love to have kids, one day. Although if they were Dyspraxic, I'd feel really guilty about it. It's hard to explain why, I suppose I just wouldn't want them to have to face the same problems as kids that I did.

i know exactly what you mean, but a bit of knowledge can be a powerful thing. plus as a parent, you can find myriad other things to feel guilty about!

Not got any yet - but plan to in the future. I worry about dropping them as babies.

ah, bless. you wouldn't. anyway, they bounce

i did once fall down the stairs at 3am, 8 months pregnant with my 1 year old on my hip, and that was okay...

[Alex]

I would love to have kids 1 day would like to have 2 maybe 3 but just got to find the right person first possibly someone dyspraxic as we both know what we are going through

[gherkin001]

I had 2 sons. My youngest died from SUDEP 13 months ago, I'm not ready to have another yet, but in time we'll probably try again.

Kirsty

[sanabituranima]

I am very sorry for your loss.

[gherkin001]

Thank you.

Kirsty

[Lady Fluff]

no plans at all - don't like sprogs, and, being gay, means that I won't have to worry about any accidents. Am happy to play mad auntie to my in-law's sprogs though! Well, I will be when they're old enough to have a conversation - there's a just a crawling poo machine at the moment, ugh!

[krackerz1590]

i don't know i mean i work with kids 3-4 years old in a nursery i have my 4 year old neice she my world my everything keeps me fighting going and not crashing down all time over everything in life that's hard and difficult i find quite demanding even in these situations as when anxious i panic and can't think straight and much stuff up easy i mentally overloaded and overwhelmed emotionally i'm drained! with AS and dyspraxia and MH probs together i 'struggle' to 'know myself' what i want and need from life etc get so lost and confused worried i'd be a useless pathetic mum and let them down i need alot of support from outside services as i know i wouldn't cope and deal with daily things alone too scary etc i sometimes stare at mums with their kids even my sister and think imagining and pretending the parent thing and really frightens me so much i know everyone's like that scared i be unable to look after them properly due to MH probs especially depression when things get on top of me i let it build up and keep inside i love that 'normal dream' family picture whether it reality in future is unsecure right now i single anyways so can't happen alone on my own any aspect independence from family home parents protected safe environment worries and stresses me out big time! i woulnd't want to embarass my kid/s or for them to feel ashamed of me!

[krackerz1590]

scared worried genetically my kid/s have high chance possibilty of suffering from ASD's i don't think i could watch my kid go through nightmare hurt pain heartache i did n endless tears low self-esteem MH probs list endless ... would 'break' me inside out then people have said i 'understand' on personal level much better than my parents did at start of this fresh situation which also true on my mum's side we feel there a genetic link with my auntie and cousin so ... i know this doesn't mean THEY WILL JUST THEY COULD still hurts pains me bad to think i could carry this on to next generation kills .....

[heffalump]

Hi,

I am pregnant with my first and finding that my pregnancy is making my dyspraxia worse? has anyone else had anything like that? I don't know wether it is just because I am so tired and am always worse when I am tired but I am finding it really hard as all my normal coping strategies are going out the window, am worried about messing up at work because of it.