My education was a mess, if I could go back knowing what I know now things would be different, but in the real world I don't own a time machine so you have to make the best of it and figure out what to do with your life...the problem is I really don't know.
I used to have dreams but I was never really encouraged at all in anything, I have no credentials, made tons of strides in physically overcoming dyspraxia and not being obvious in everyday life...but never even made it through college and have serious doubt about even trying to go back and place myself in a situation that holds so many painful memories of failure and frustration.
Here I am basically happy but far from sucessful in compairison to what my potential is supposed to be. I got married, drive a car, I learned how to be far more athletic then anyone dreamed possible and to disguise most of the obvious signs of my disability (including hiking the grand canyon...i'm VERY proud of that one). I even hold down two jobs and have a good credit rating.
Still i am suppsoed to be so smart and yet I failed out of college, can't interview worth anything, and have two jobs that are in no way, shape, or form a career. Part of me always wanted to be an actress or a singer or a writer...things I do show some real talent in but never had the chance to really go for any of it and now at 33?
I'd also like to do something to at least give back to the world and help people. I want some kind fo real success and yet for all that my verbal IQ is suppsoed to be so high and I'm supposed to have so much potential I can;t help always thinking that maybe that is just smoke and mirrirors, that I also have a pathetically low performance IQ and averaged together that makes me nothing special at all...that I should be happy just being a cog in the wheel and stop thinking i'm better then everyone else. Foolish pride or lack of self-confidance and I honestly don;t know which I need to get rid of ?
Do you accept "reality" or do you try to live some sort of dream...do you go back to school, go completely for something in the arts, or stop dreaming and try to be happy with wasted potential?
Is there a school and career where I can make it...can I make myself believe I deserve it...or do I need to swallow my foolish pride and be proud of what I have?
What does being both a borderline genius (verbal IQ) and borderline for retardation (performance IQ) make me and where on earth can I go from here?
My middle name isn't frustration, but I think it should have been.
And wow I'm not used to being this open to anyone anywhere
Michele
Career and Schooling when your middle name is frustration
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michele
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Career and Schooling when your middle name is frustration
"When none of the offfical paths lead you anywhere good there is a simple solution...forget about roads."
Re: Career and Schooling when your middle name is frustration
You should be proud of the fact that you've already achieved so much so far as handling your disability goes, that's a huge leap forward even if doesn't really seem like it.
Maybe you should ask around about courses that might help with your interview technique, your local council office might be able to help you out with that, since lots of people don't have good interview skills, regardless of whether or not they have some soort of disability.
You mentioned that you wanted to be a writer at some point. Why don't you try plotting out a few ideas and see if any of them sound like something you'd want to read as a finished product? I'm currently doing that right now with an idea i'm trying to save for NanoWrimo this year and it looks like something that I'll continue working on, even if it takes me years to finish {I'm very bad with procrastination}. As long as you have a solid idea of what you're writing and are able to target a specific age group {most publishers don't like it when you try to cater for multiple groups for some reason ¬_¬} a ppublisher might like your idea enough to have a look at it.
You say your verbal IQ is very high compared to your performance IQ. I have the same problem, though to a far lesser degree, and have found that working with people is a far better option than trying to find work in an office environment where I would do fairly badly. Have you considered becoming a Learning and Support Assisstant at a local school? There are many children out there that would greatly benefit from your experience of dealing with your disability and while you do have to do some writing work, it is generally on a one to one basis with a student or working with a very small group {probably around 5 or so at most} and many schools {in my experience} are willing to accomodate to your needs {say working half day a few days a week rather than full time 5 days a week, which can get rather stressful}. I did the work on a voluntary basis for 6 months and found it highly rewarding and something I would love to do again.
It is hard when there's a huge discrepancy between what you should be able too achieve and what you can achieve with dyspraxia, but try to focuus on the good points rather than the negatives, especially when you are applying for jobs and getting interviews, though it isn't allways a bad thing to discuss your limitations, particularly if you feel that they might affect how well you can actually perform any tasks at hand.
I wish you luck on deciding what you want to do, it's quite hard thse days with everyone after the same few job right now ^_^.
Maybe you should ask around about courses that might help with your interview technique, your local council office might be able to help you out with that, since lots of people don't have good interview skills, regardless of whether or not they have some soort of disability.
You mentioned that you wanted to be a writer at some point. Why don't you try plotting out a few ideas and see if any of them sound like something you'd want to read as a finished product? I'm currently doing that right now with an idea i'm trying to save for NanoWrimo this year and it looks like something that I'll continue working on, even if it takes me years to finish {I'm very bad with procrastination}. As long as you have a solid idea of what you're writing and are able to target a specific age group {most publishers don't like it when you try to cater for multiple groups for some reason ¬_¬} a ppublisher might like your idea enough to have a look at it.
You say your verbal IQ is very high compared to your performance IQ. I have the same problem, though to a far lesser degree, and have found that working with people is a far better option than trying to find work in an office environment where I would do fairly badly. Have you considered becoming a Learning and Support Assisstant at a local school? There are many children out there that would greatly benefit from your experience of dealing with your disability and while you do have to do some writing work, it is generally on a one to one basis with a student or working with a very small group {probably around 5 or so at most} and many schools {in my experience} are willing to accomodate to your needs {say working half day a few days a week rather than full time 5 days a week, which can get rather stressful}. I did the work on a voluntary basis for 6 months and found it highly rewarding and something I would love to do again.
It is hard when there's a huge discrepancy between what you should be able too achieve and what you can achieve with dyspraxia, but try to focuus on the good points rather than the negatives, especially when you are applying for jobs and getting interviews, though it isn't allways a bad thing to discuss your limitations, particularly if you feel that they might affect how well you can actually perform any tasks at hand.
I wish you luck on deciding what you want to do, it's quite hard thse days with everyone after the same few job right now ^_^.
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NobodyElseWill
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Re: Career and Schooling when your middle name is frustratio
You can achieve anything with Dyspraxia, dyspraxia is not learning disability where stacking shelves and flipping burgers is the only choice. You can do a lot with Dyspraxia and perhaps now is chance where you go back to college and do an access course to achieve your potential and then work out where u wanna go. I did that last yr with two jobs and an open university course in the same subject. Ok i didn't see my friends often as i was too busy and even now i'm pretty much out quite a lot at work. (didn't have enough energy or time)
Keep trying and stay focused! (i live on tea)
Keep trying and stay focused! (i live on tea)
CertHE (Open) Health and Social Care (2009)
Access to Health and Social Care (2009)
KYJ113 Foundations for Social Work Practice (Pending)
Access to Health and Social Care (2009)
KYJ113 Foundations for Social Work Practice (Pending)
Re: Career and Schooling when your middle name is frustratio
As a wiseman once said (and maybe you might want to read his book re reality Robert Anton Wilson " "Your perception is your reality" . Even from a purely statical view point all the thing that's could have killed you injured you and even prevented your birth , you made it to 33 years old . That is awesome
VIQ and IQ are just tools they really don't mean anything (ok we wave them about and say hey I'm great when our scores are hi (my VIQ is top 1% of my age group but that's a different matter
) do you need to judge your life on just how great your tool box is .
The only person who decided what you want and what you do is you. Nothing wrong with having help on teh way mind . Those of us ND dont alwasy get the chance to experiment as teens or young adults so we get teh lucky part of having got to 30+ where we go well i can decide now with a bit more wisdom (hopefully ) and a better idea of what we do and dont want from life .
kick back relax and go find what you want Do what though wilt
VIQ and IQ are just tools they really don't mean anything (ok we wave them about and say hey I'm great when our scores are hi (my VIQ is top 1% of my age group but that's a different matter
) do you need to judge your life on just how great your tool box is .The only person who decided what you want and what you do is you. Nothing wrong with having help on teh way mind . Those of us ND dont alwasy get the chance to experiment as teens or young adults so we get teh lucky part of having got to 30+ where we go well i can decide now with a bit more wisdom (hopefully ) and a better idea of what we do and dont want from life .
kick back relax and go find what you want Do what though wilt