Re: Sad and wish I could learn more patience.
Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 2:50 pm
I have been in this position lots of time- my husband has dyspraxia and I can so relate to the losing jobs, his dependency on me (to the point I do want to scream) and just feeling that no one understands. It all came to ahead last summer when his manager started to bully him and I said, enough is enough. we did get the union involved, but his employers closed ranks.
So, I went back to work full time( but only because the kids are all at school) and he works part time, which is sometimes better when he remembers all the stuff that needs doing, sometimes worse as what I could achieve in a day takes him all week. ...:-P
Now this sounds negative, but actually, what I have learned to do is make times to sit down and talk to him about my fears, very calmly. Also, I do make him take responsibility for things, like going to the CAB when he lost his job. Somehow, he seemed to cope when I compartmentalised things for him and I said, this is your part, this is what you have to do to help- with obvious reminders and support from me!
I know exactly what you're saying about swapping roles, we had 3 kids close together too and I couldn't have left him with them, or wanted to when they were tiny. We had 2 redundancies when they were little and it is the actual not knowing what is going to happen which is the problem. Now he would cope no problem, but we are 10 years older..
I think there should be a thread on this forum which is called 'Living with someone with Dyspraxia' as it can be very tiring for the spouse as although he is a beautiful person, sometimes the day to day effort of it can really make the other person tired and dare I say it ill, especially when you've also got 3 young children to care for!](./images/smilies/eusa_wall.gif "Brick wall")
Stick to your guns with the council and pull off as much information on dyspraxia. Quote the disability discrimination act which states reasonable adjustments should be made for a person to cope with their job. It is an all too common problem.
So, I went back to work full time( but only because the kids are all at school) and he works part time, which is sometimes better when he remembers all the stuff that needs doing, sometimes worse as what I could achieve in a day takes him all week. ...:-P
Now this sounds negative, but actually, what I have learned to do is make times to sit down and talk to him about my fears, very calmly. Also, I do make him take responsibility for things, like going to the CAB when he lost his job. Somehow, he seemed to cope when I compartmentalised things for him and I said, this is your part, this is what you have to do to help- with obvious reminders and support from me!
I know exactly what you're saying about swapping roles, we had 3 kids close together too and I couldn't have left him with them, or wanted to when they were tiny. We had 2 redundancies when they were little and it is the actual not knowing what is going to happen which is the problem. Now he would cope no problem, but we are 10 years older..
I think there should be a thread on this forum which is called 'Living with someone with Dyspraxia' as it can be very tiring for the spouse as although he is a beautiful person, sometimes the day to day effort of it can really make the other person tired and dare I say it ill, especially when you've also got 3 young children to care for!
Stick to your guns with the council and pull off as much information on dyspraxia. Quote the disability discrimination act which states reasonable adjustments should be made for a person to cope with their job. It is an all too common problem.