Dates

GWhizz · Post by **GWhizz** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 11:05 pm

No not those of the sticky horrible looking ones with 'eat me' on them I don't like them anyway.

But Dates when your going out with someone the first time or second time I am feeling a little nervous I have been on a date or two before could anyone give me a few tips as to not let my dyspraxia get in the way

Post by **Shadwell** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 11:32 pm

about the main thing I can suggest is trying not to cover up the dyspraxia, as it will pop it's head out of the woodwork with a vengence! just stick to what you can, and probably are used to hiding.

I just try not to even think about it, as it is a part of my life.

but saying that I haven't been on any dates since finding out about being dyspraxic. so I would possibly still try to hide it as much as possible (and fail miserably!!).

I think it would be good point, for the others to think about, on how truthful would they be on the first or second date, would they come straight out with telling the other person about being dyspraxic?

donnaf · Post by **donnaf** » Sun Feb 18, 2007 8:49 am

I told my fella I was dyspraxic the night we got together. I thought it was best just to be totally honest right away. It might not always be the best thing to do, I suppose. If you're not sure if you want to see the person again, maybe it's best to wait till you are sure how you feel.
When I got together with my fella, I knew straight away that he meant a lot to me and so I told him cause if it was going to put him off me, I needed to know right away before I got too involved.
As for covering up your dyspraxia, I don't see the point really. I was dating people for nearly 10 years before I even knew I was dyspraxic, and my clumsiness and quirks never put anyone off me. Once I knew there was a name for what I did, I felt the need to be honest, but when I didn't know, noone seemed to notice really. I think the other person on the date is too concerned with what you think of them to notice anything too much.

Lumic · Post by **Lumic** » Sun Feb 18, 2007 10:24 am

well am off on a first date on the 4th march jus for a couple of drinks on a sunday lunch time its my first date in 5 years and although am quitely excited in a way am also scared as hell as very often my glass doesnt make my mouth and i get it all down my chin, so i use starws but dont they appear childish oh i dont know. will i tell him i have dyspraxia on our first date i dont think so ill prob do a few dyspraxic things but hey everyone has quirks. infact wen is the right time to tell someone that you have have dyspraxia and possibily other things. ive only known about dyspraxia for a year so i dont know sorry am no use i guess am in the same boat as you Gwhizz i think am jus gonna be myself and treat the other person like a mate i suppose jus have a laugh and if you never see them again there loss thats what am telling myself $\:D/$

gomababe · Post by **gomababe** » Sun Feb 18, 2007 11:13 am

I don't really think you have any need to hide it. I up and tell new friends about it as soon as I meet them. My ex-boyfriend felt the need to hide his Asperger's for some reason, even though I was completely open and honest about my Dyspraxia from the start. I guess he still felt that I would be stigmatised against it *shrugs* We're still very good friends though and joke about our dyspraxic-ness and autism-ness when it does crop up when we're out together.

If this person is put off by your dyspraxia then they're probably not very worth it IMO.

david456 · Post by **david456** » Sun Feb 18, 2007 6:21 pm

Just be yourself and try and relax. The one date I did go on last year. The girl just wasn't interested in me.
That is the hard thing. Working out why they didn't like you. Was It something I said. I just wasn't their type or what.

mattie · Post by **mattie** » Thu Mar 01, 2007 10:15 am

I have never been on a date, so I don't really have much experience in this area.

Hypothetically speaking, if I were to go on one, I probably wouldn't mention dyspraxia as part of the conversation. I can understand why some people choose to, but I would prefer not to mention it in the first month or so. To be honest, I think most people would notice I am different straight away in any case.

Mattie.

Ruth · Post by **Ruth** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 5:45 pm

blerch I was horrible at dating. I'd get so nervous and whitter and spill things and do stupid things. cringing with remembered embarassment even now. Possibly it was due to me having NO idea why iwas so clumsy/ditsy/odd and trying hard to be somethign I wasn't i.e.normal

Group of chums down the pub with some good beer has always been my favourite social location - no loud music and no hard standing up and trying to look cool. Cos I felt comfy there it was easy to chat to blokes and I got to know then and then would gradually turn a trip out with friends to a trip out with a friend and then sometimes that friend became a boy friend. I'd actually known dan ( my lovely hubby of 10 years) for 4 years before we became an 'item'

Post by **Daniel** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 6:31 pm

I agree that a staged date might not be the best environs compared to a wider social gathering where you can get to know some casually before taking it further. By that point you should be familiar with what common ground you have to make conversation much more easily.

<tongue in cheek>
On a tangent I'm thinking of imposing a ban on anyone else on this forum called Dan. There's at least two forum members with other halves called Dan and it just won't do.
Years ago in the early days of Usenet there was a guy called Trevor then another Trevor came along so he changed his name to Trevor (not Trevor). I feel that similar action might be required here.
</tongue in cheek>

Dan
(any similarity with any persons living or dead is purely coincidental)

Greg · Post by **Greg** » Thu Mar 08, 2007 12:30 am

I guess the other option is to kill the other Dans and take their places in an elaborate ruse.

gherkin001 · Post by **gherkin001** » Fri Oct 05, 2007 3:58 pm

Ive never been on a proper "date", the night Clive and I met it was down to gettin off with each other in the night club, and then back to his for the night! We moved in together 2 weeks later and have been together ever since. We have been so comfortable with each other since day one that we never needed the dating process to get to know each other etc as we realised straight away just how much we do have in common.

One day we may try a DATE, but in the traditional sense, its not something we've ever done, nor have we ever needed to.

Kirsty

taffyboy · Post by **taffyboy** » Sat Oct 06, 2007 12:04 pm

thats good im always messing up dates as women avoid me becos im epileptic. as soon as peepall find out they avoid me even tho im under control and havent fitted in neerly 3 yeers.

gherkin001 · Post by **gherkin001** » Sat Oct 06, 2007 12:10 pm

Ive had the same problem of people avoiding me because of the epilepsy (im epi too), but in the end, they're simply not worth it.

Im here if you ever wanna swap experiences.

Kirsty.....

david456 · Post by **david456** » Sun Oct 07, 2007 6:48 pm

I know someone, who dates a girl with epilepsy, if people won't go out with you because of it, they aren't worth knowing.

gherkin001 · Post by **gherkin001** » Sun Oct 07, 2007 7:28 pm

Thats the philosophy ive come to follow at any rate.

Kirsty